Chapter Twelve
Leo
They’d been gone forever, but as I checked the clock for the twentieth time, only a few hours had passed, leaving me bored and kicking my heels, unsure of what to do next. I’d done some exploring of the yard with the dogs, poking my head into the barns to see if I found anything interesting. I hadn’t…well…nothing worth mentioning anyway, only lots of forestry and horse equipment stacked neat and orderly on various hooks and shelves along the far wall. All my reconnaissance did was reinforce how much work still needed to be done and how no matter how many hours in a day Mitch put in, he’d never complete the tasks before he’d have to start all over again.
He needed help, and lots of it, but getting him to accept even a modicum of assistance would be extremely difficult, but I had to try to do something as standing aside watching him go under wasn't an option. A movement caught my eye as I stared out of the cabin window, which had become my default since I’d arrived, standing in front of the glass checking for what, I wasn’t sure, but I remained at my self-assigned post all the same.
I watched Mitch as he stalked across the yard, before disappearing down the side of the barn toward the stables.
Alone.
Unease crept over me, wondering if he and Gabe had argued again? God, I hoped not. For once, it would be nice if they just got along, if only for one hour. Hell, I’d take a single minute of peace if it allowed me to relax. My constant state of anxiety had begun to take a toll, with my shoulders permanently stiff, butterflies constantly churning in my stomach, and me jumping at every sound.
I stepped into my boots, still sitting by the door, and as Gabe had mine, I grabbed one of Mitch’s spare coats off the hook and shrugged it on.
The dogs, sensing an outing, scrambled to their feet. “Hey, boys,” I greeted them. “I’m not sure if your daddy allows you near the horses, so you’ll need to wait here to look after Gabe when he returns, okay?” They cocked their heads to the side as I spoke. “Sorry, guys.”
I’d gotten used to the two large bloodhounds roaming around the place. I’d never been a dog person, mainly because we weren’t allowed to have any growing up. Too messy. Too noisy. They’d get in the way. Pretty much how I’d been made to feel my whole life. These two though… I gave them a quick scratch under their chin and received a contented huff in return. Yeah, I’d easily get used to having these two around.
For a second, I wondered if this was a metaphor of some kind, and given time, I’d also get used to having two other guys around as well. Who’d have thought? Not me, that’s for sure. They both blew so hot and cold they gave me a permanent headache.
Scarf wrapped around my neck and prepared to go out in the cold, I picked up the gloves Mitch had loaned me this morning off the console and pulled them on. I’d been touched he’d noticed my hands were two blue blocks of ice and heat had unfurled in my belly when I’d put them on, able to feel the warmth from him inside them, like having his hot fingers wrapped protectively around my own.
The feeling was a new one for me and not something I knew how to handle. No one had ever cared enough for me to bother with such a small thing. Perhaps I’d read too much into the gesture, and he’d only been helping me out. Getting my hopes up had never been a particularly good thing for me to do, as it offered an easy option for my stepfather to rip them to shreds. But Mitch’s gaze when I’d placed my hands in his gloves had been possessive, I’d stake my life on it, and a shot of energy had zinged along my nerves at me being someone he might want to get possessive about.
After a few minutes bundling up against the elements, I left the house and followed Mitch’s path behind the stables, arriving at the small corral at the same time he climbed into the saddle on one of his horses. A large bay sitting patiently waiting for instruction, while an Appaloosa stood beside them in a harness.
I halted my approach and frowned. How could he go horseback riding in this deep snow? Surely trudging through the two or so feet freezing drifts can’t be good for the horse’s legs? Normally, I’d say something, but with how twitchy Mitch got about anything to do with him running this place, I bit my tongue, guessing he must know what he’s doing.
Continuing on to the fencing around the corral, I instead asked him, “You want some company?” I hoped he’d say yes.
He looked me over, his gaze probing as he obviously noticed I wore his jacket, but he didn’t make any comments, probably because he’d already seen Gabe wearing mine. “I’m not in the best of moods right now, Leo.”
Seriously, what had gone on between those two? “We don’t have to talk. All I want is to ride with you and get a better look at the surrounding forest.”
He mulled over his options, which I now understood was his way. Thinking of the pros and cons before deciding. I held my breath in anticipation until he huffed out some air and reluctantly climbed down from the saddle. “I’ll get you set up.” He handed me the reins of the smaller Appaloosa and the large stallion he’d been seated on and disappeared around the side of the stable.
Despite his reluctance, I beamed inside, thinking how his acceptance made me feel strangely lighter. We were only going on a horse ride, after all, and with him not in the mood to talk, the whole thing would probably be a tense experience. Though, I suspected that had more to do with what went on between him and Gabe, rather than him not wanting me to ride along with him. Still, I took his agreement as a major step forward, and I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity to accompany him.
A few minutes later, he returned and efficiently fixed the bridle and saddle to a gray mare standing at the far side of the corral. “Sadie’s a placid girl so you won’t have any trouble with her.” I didn’t want to reiterate I already rode, had ridden for years, so gave Sadie’s neck a few strokes of greeting, climbed on, adjusted the stirrups, and got settled. “Ready?” he asked.
“Yep.” And after leading all the horses out of the corral, he mounted up and we started at a slow pace along a narrow trail leading away from the cabin and into the forest. The dense canopy of trees, their branches shielding us from the majority of the elements, also answered my earlier questions regarding the drifts. While white carpeted the ground, the snow hadn’t penetrated quite as intensely here, so appeared only around a foot deep. Plus, Mitch obviously used this path fairly frequently as what snow there was had been compacted by the horse’s hooves.
Following behind him as he took the lead, gave me a chance to study him without having to be surreptitious. Utterly relaxed in the saddle, his body swayed along with the movement of his horse. His broad shoulders filling his thick jacket, stretching the material taut across his back, had me wondering again what his body looked like underneath all the padding. The plaid shirts he wore were thick and the pattern did nothing to help show off his definition, but he certainly had some, and a whole lot more. I’m guessing working on the cabins and tending to the horses all day would have given him most of his muscles and fitness. I’d managed a couple hours work in the barn earlier, and already the soreness in my underused muscles made itself known.
Not forgetting to mention his gorgeous ass as he’d climbed into the saddle, mostly hidden at the moment. Unfortunately, I only managed to catch the odd glimpse here and there when his jacket occasionally rode up.
He seemed comfortable out here in the wilderness, his whole body relaxing as soon as we left the yard. The agreement with Gabe to talk to him some more about selling didn’t sit right as I watched Mitch so at peace in his native environment. But once again I recalled my stepfather’s voice, loud and clear in my head, telling me not to screw this up. Though, in all likelihood, he’d relish the idea of me failing, as he had one more reason to belittle me. To be honest, I was uncomfortable with the weight of responsibility on my shoulders, knowing he relied on me to close the deal. It meant the difference between Caitlin receiving the help she needed or barely getting any at all. I remained utterly shocked and perplexed at how he’d be so cruel to his own stepdaughter. Even with being a complete bastard, surely he perceived the effect taking away her care would have on her health. Deep down he must be concerned about her. He must.
Add in the additional pressure of him laying people off if the deal didn’t materialize, when I understood its huge potential for not only keeping Malcolm’s staff in employment but also the opportunity the build would provide for other local tradesmen, I couldn’t be the one who let all those people down.
I stared at Mitch, at the man I had to persuade to give up his whole life, claiming he’d be better off if he did. Was I really prepared to go through with this and make him do something he clearly didn’t want to? I got more and more confused by the second, as whatever happened, I’d either be the cause of Mitch’s misery, or Caitlin losing her medical care, and good people losing their jobs.
Reluctantly dragging my gaze away from the man causing me so much indecision, I forced myself to take in the scenery surrounding me instead. Thankfully, there’d been no additional snowfall today, which meant we’d be that much closer to getting out of here if it kept away.
After the earlier bright and clear skies, some of the clouds had returned, the gaps between them allowing thin shafts of sunlight to filter in through the huge trees, highlighting small pockets of the forest. The scent of pine and earth intensified the deeper we rode, the canopy overhead thickening even more due to the sheer number of trees surrounding us. It was stunningly beautiful.
As the trail widened, I nudged Sadie on, riding up until I sat level with Mitch. “I can see why you don’t want to leave.” We’d agreed not to talk, but remarking on the scenery didn’t count, did it? Okay, I may be angling slightly toward the sale, but I had to start somewhere.
Mitch hardly bothered to take a look around, as if he remained completely unaware of the beauty all around him. “Yeah.”
“Yeah? This place is stunning, and all you can say is, yeah?”
“I guess you get used to the view when you see it every day.”
“Well—” I grinned making him scowl, his default expression I’d learned, and meant to keep people as far away from him as possible. “—now you can show it to me.”
“I thought we agreed no talking.”
“So I’m not allowed to ask what makes this place so special to you?”
He grumbled something and sighed. “Fine.”
I smirked. “Such enthusiasm.”
His scowl deepened. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a pain in the ass?”
I laughed, the sound loud in the calm around us. We were the only two out here in our own private world, and as nice as this was, I kept thinking how much better the ride would be if Gabe were here too, and the three of us were out enjoying the forest, discovering Mitch’s corner of the world together.
“I may have been told that on the rarest of occasions, yes.”
He snorted. “Rare occasions, huh?”
“Hey,” I chided, liking he was starting to loosen up, the same as yesterday when Gabe had been exiled to the Jeep, and Mitch and I had chatted in the cabin. I hoped the easy-going man I’d discovered then, would make a reappearance as he’d been good company and fun to talk to.
He smiled and my heart kicked hard. His lips weren’t as full as Gabe’s but were still as tempting. What would it be like to kiss him, taste him, to feel his beard scrape across my skin. To have his big hands holding me, one gripping firmly on my hip, the other in my hair as he took control of my mouth, his tongue pushing inside, flicking over mine. When Gabe had kissed me this morning, he’d been gentle, coaxing, making me yearn for more. Gabe was a tease, but instinct told me Mitch would be the exact opposite. He’d take what he wanted, forcefully, with no restraint, but leaving me begging just as much.
What would all three of us be like together?
The thought popped into my head unexpectedly, and I couldn’t shake it off, picturing two sets of hands roaming over my body, two sexy mouths kissing mine before sliding lower to lick and suck on my neck, my nipples, my cock.
Oh, my fucking God.
My throat had gone completely dry as the image burned itself into my brain. Was it hot all of a sudden? I felt hot. Pulling the zipper down an inch or so on my jacket, the cold air swirled around my neck, cooling my heated skin but did nothing else to reduce my temperature or the roar of blood rushing through my veins.
“You okay?” Mitch asked, concern in his voice.
I managed to nod. “Just, um, in awe of everything, I guess.”
He studied the landscape again, and this time, he seemed to take in what was before him. “I’ve never wanted to be anywhere else,” he stated wistfully. “This mountain is everything for me.”
“Did your wife love being here too?” I took a risk asking the question, sure he would shut me down, but surprisingly, he didn’t.
“Yes, she adored everything about our land. She made so many plans, had so many dreams for what we’d achieve.” His small harrumph made me smile. “I didn’t have her vision. Never will. She saw things in her head I had no way of comprehending. What the guest cabins would look like. What our own cabin would look like, the stables, picnic area, the lake, everything…” he trailed off, lost in his memories.
“Will you tell me what happened?” I spoke quietly, not wanting him to stop talking about her.
“Automobile accident,” he forced out, a flash of pain and what appeared to be guilt washing over his face, confusing me. I understood his pain, as I’d experienced my own after almost losing Caitlin, but why the guilt? I deserved mine for not being vigilant when I should have been looking out for my sister. But his wife’s death had been accidental, and nothing he could have prevented, so what possible reason did he have for feeling guilty? “No one is really sure of the details,” he continued in his deep voice. “The car went off the road and crashed into a ravine.” He tensed. “She wasn’t wearing her seat belt. Went through the windshield. Died instantly.”
“Oh, Mitch, I’m so sorry.”
He blinked rapidly a couple of times, turned his head away to stare out into the forest, making my heart ache for him. He’d lost his wife, the person he loved more than anyone in the world. He must have been devastated. While not the same, I empathized with the deep emotional trauma he’d been through, was still working to deal with. My sister, Caitlin, had lived, but in truth I didn't feel like she had sometimes. Machines and drugs kept her in this world, nothing else. Over the years I’d often agonized if we’d made the right choice keeping her alive, for both her and me.
Mitch was at least able to mourn his wife, while I had to cling on to the dwindling strands of never-ending hope I held in my heart, Caitlin would eventually wake fully from her coma and return to us. That one day she’d open her eyes, look at me, and smile her beautiful smile. In reality, my wish would unlikely ever happen, but I determinedly had to believe in the impossible, nevertheless, and sometimes, in the quiet of my bed late at night, the strain of keeping my belief would bring me to my knees, and I’d silently wish for her suffering to be over, so Caitlin finally had the peace she deserved, and I’d be allowed to mourn the sister I’d lost so long ago.
So, yes, I understood Mitch’s desire to hold on to the past and keep their dreams alive. The similarities between us gave me a bit more insight into this gruff, prickly man, and I better understood his motivation for keeping their home. If they’d dreamed of running it together and his wife’s sudden death had ripped their dream apart, I’m sure I’d try to do the same. I was doing exactly the same. Keeping Caitlin’s memory alive for as long as possible by following through on the promise I’d made to her to never give up.
However, Mitch’s approach was doomed to fail. Without more people to help him achieve his goal, and a lot more money, he’d never succeed. And if he didn’t succeed, what then? Would he doggedly continue following the same path regardless, as the weight of responsibility continually chipped away at his soul, piece by tiny piece, until he lost what remained of his life in the process?
Fuck, what was he going to do? What was I going to do?
“If you need to talk—”
“I don’t.”
“But if you do, I’m here, okay?” He turned toward me, hesitation in his eyes. He wanted to say something. I’m positive he did, but after years of keeping his emotions locked up tight, he unsurprisingly found difficulty in expressing his feelings now. “Anytime, Mitch.” I leaned over and clasped his arm. “Now.” I gave him a cheery smile. “Is there someplace we can get a view of the lake? I’d love to see it.”
He watched me for a few seconds, his face pensive. I took it as a sign he’d at least think about getting stuff off his chest. “Sure.” And he gently dug his heels into his horse’s flanks. “This way.”