11. Vinnie
11
VINNIE
I wanted to play.
Daddy and I had a date set up, one with reservations and a dress code. When we made the plans, it sounded fabulous. Who doesn’t want to go to one of the best steak houses in the country? But now that the day had finally arrived, all I wanted to do was go to the Little room with Daddy and be cute.
When I looked up the restaurant to check their policies, I decided to forget about my desire to spend the night being Little. They charged a $100 cancellation fee, and I refused to put that on Emory. Instead, I was going to suck it up, be happy happy, and then, if there was time afterward, suggest we head to the club.
Usually, I tried to stay away from there when it got to be that late. There was nothing wrong with the club, per se. They still had the same food, the same rooms open, the same everything… everything except the people. It became far more crowded, and the space outside the Little room had a tendency to get… intense. And that was great for the people who wanted that, but for me, when I was in Little space, it became too much for me.
I popped in the shower, my desire to do more than cleaning up appearing once again. Last time I was with Emory, I asked if I was allowed to jerk off, and it went in a very different direction than I thought it would.
“It’s your body. I won’t tell you what to do with it, unless you ask me to. Is that what you are doing?” He gave nothing away.
I had no clue what the right answer was. Daddy would say there wasn’t one if I asked. He had a preference though, everyone did. Instead of answering him, I sat there, watching his face in a failed attempt to decipher his expression.
“You don’t want to say?”
I shook my head.
“Then tell me, sweet boy, why did you ask? And if you use your words, Daddy will have a treat for you.”
“I asked because… when I wake up and I’m hard or when I’m in the shower and I wish you were there… I want to come, but then when I go to do it, I feel guilty, so I stop.”
He took my hand in both of his. “And you don’t want to stop?”
I shook my head.
“Why do you feel guilty?” Wasn’t that a loaded question.
“Because some Daddies think it’s wrong.”
He didn’t cut in, allowing me to pull my thoughts together at my own pace.
“But you aren’t some Daddies. You are Emory, my Daddy, and it wasn’t fair to put that on you. And I think… the reason I didn’t like your answer was because I didn’t ask the question I needed to ask.”
He leaned in and kissed me. “That’s part of your award.”
“How do I get the rest?”
Emory gave me the you know the answer look he was so good at.
“Ask the right question.”
A nod and a smile.
“Do you jerk off thinking about me?” I hid my head in my hands, shocked that I said it. It was bad enough I thought about it.
“Sweet boy, you don’t have to be embarrassed and hide. I’m not.”
I peeked between my fingers. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. Come snuggle on Daddy’s lap, like you do after milkies.”
I climbed on, and he held me close. “Now to answer your question, yes. I do. You have no idea how often you are in my head.”
His words had me snuggling in closer. “Is it weird that your answer makes me happy?”
“Not at all. We can’t control how we feel about anything, and assigning weird to some of those feelings invalidates them.” He kissed the top of my head.
“I think I want you to tell me if I can or not or at least make some rules about it. Not because I need to be controlled.” That was so not my thing. “But because then I don’t have to think about it.”
“I’m so proud of you, and you can absolutely jerk off thinking about me whenever you want and I’m not there to give you what you need. And if you want to tell me about it later, I’m down for that too.” He slid me off of him and set me on the couch before kneeling in front of me. “Now it’s time for your treat.”
That conversation had changed so much for me. Sure, it dealt with the topic at hand, but it was so much more than that. I learned that talking to Daddy and being clear about my needs, even when it was uncomfortable, was the only way to get my needs met. If I’d talked to him earlier, I’d have saved myself so much guilt.
And that was why, instead of taking the time to jerk one out, I rushed to finish my shower. I needed to call Daddy.
I didn’t even get dressed first, my hair still dripping, when I called him and put it on speaker to avoid getting my phone too wet.
“Sweet boy, I was going to stop by on my way home. Daddy could use a hug.”
“If you showed up now, it would be a naked hug.” I giggled.
“You called me while naked… Either something is heavy on your mind or my Little is feeling a little adventurous.
“The first, but we can explore the second after.” Because now I wanted that too. “I want to go to the club tonight. To be Little and play. But I also want to get dinner with you.”
“What am I missing? This sounds like more than you want to hit the club after we eat.”
“I want to play before the night crowd comes in, and it will cost you a cancellation fee and that’s not fair, but not telling you what’s racing through my head isn’t fair to you, so… that’s all of it. Fix it, Daddy.”
“Daddy is going to hang up now. I’m almost home, and I’ll stop and see you first. Deal?”
“Deal.”
I was still in my towel when he arrived five minutes later. He pulled me straight into a bear hug and then let me know he moved our reservation until later so we could hit up the Little room too and assured me he wasn’t charged the fee. All of that was great, but the best thing of all was when he hugged me close and said, “I needed this, my sweet boy. Going a full 24 hours without a Vinnie hug is far too long.”