Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
“Ihope this is suitable.” August pushes open the door of a small hut not far from his and Iris’s.
“Anything is perfect, thank you,” I say as we duck through the even smaller doorframe. Rylan follows quietly behind.
He hasn’t said much in the hours since his altercation with Evander, and I think my eyes have told him plenty enough what I think about it.
I take in the small room. A simple cot in the corner, a small table and a sink. It’s more than we’ve had in days.
“Everleigh,” August says from where he stands by the door. I turn to see his eyes shining. “Thank you. I hope you know how grateful we are to you for your help. We are indebted to you.”
My lips part with a soft sigh. “None of that is necessary,” I say. “This is more than enough to thank me.”
“No matter,” he says. “Please tell us if there is anything else you need or want. We will do our best to fulfil it.”
“There is nothing,” I assure him. “But thank you.”
“All right,” he nods. “Well, I hope you sleep well. I shall see you both in the morning.”
The small hut is utterly silent once August shuts the door. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say as Rylan and I stand in the near dark. So much has happened in the last day, and it feels that neither of us has slowed down until now.
“Will she be all right?” he asks into the dark, the oil lamp outlining his figure.
“I hope so,” I say, dropping my medical box on the table and falling into one of the chairs. “I’ve done all I can for now. We will see how it progresses tomorrow.”
“And once she is on a clear path to recovery,” he murmurs. “We will continue on?”
He doesn’t sound eager for it. I’m not certain I am myself. Being hidden in these caves, among others, it feels safe. It feels as though I could hide here forever and forget about everything else.
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t forget about my home, my people. My purpose. I need to get back to help people, and to uncover everything I have left waiting while I am gone.
“Yes,” I say. “We will continue on.”
Rylan nods, wandering aimlessly around the small room. I can almost hear it—the question he is not asking.
“What is it?” I ask.
He meets my stare before he sits in the other chair across from me. “Why aren’t you a healer?” he asks. “You have the knowledge, the skills…” He shakes his head.
“I learned a lot from watching my brother over the years,” I say. “And Hazel too. But it is not what I’m meant to do.”
“I beg to differ,” he says simply. “I believe Iris would too.”
“Rylan…” I slouch forward, resting my head in my palm.
He reaches for my other hand, his fingers teasing the tips of mine. “Rosie,” he chirps back.
I shake my head before looking up through my lashes at him. His eyes are as dark as the forest in the middle of the night.
“You have a natural gift,” he slips his fingers through mine. “Why wouldn’t you chase that?”
For a moment, I allow myself to sink into his gaze, letting myself fall into the possibility of telling him everything. I ache to let him see everything in my heart, and I ache to see what lies within his. I’m not certain when that certain ache began.
“My parents died because the healers couldn’t save them,” I say, the words falling from my tongue.
“Deep down, I know that things were too dire before the healers even arrived, but I can’t help but blame them, even if I know it isn’t their fault that the accident happened.
No one is at fault.” My voice comes out shaky with those last words.
My heart thumps behind my ribcage, nerves tingling at my fingertips. It doesn’t make sense, yet it’s what keeps me here, feeling safe in making mixtures and balms, but not being the person who determines someone else's fate.
“You don’t want anyone to blame you,” he says, his eyes staring into mine, like he can read me so easily.
I shake my head, biting the inside of my cheek. “I couldn’t bear it.”
A yelp from outside has me drawing back, my hand slipping from his as I lean back in my chair.
Remembering where I am, I clear my throat. “It’s no matter,” I say. “Being an apothecary suits me, and my work is needed. It’s important.”
“Of course it is,” he says, blinking slowly.
My knees send the chair backwards as I stand, reflexively brushing down my skirts as I walk over to the small sink. Why does his touch affect me so deeply? Why did I let him touch me in the first place?
I twist the faucet, the sound of the water spilling from the metal filling the silence left between us.
I feel as though I am convincing myself more than I am trying to convince Rylan.
But I know my work is important. I know the healers couldn’t do their jobs without my work, but sometimes I do find myself wondering if I could do more. Help more. Know more.
Be more.
Leaning down, I splash water over my cheeks, cooling myself down before turning it off. The water does little to wash away my doubts.
Rustling comes from behind me, but I don’t turn around. I simply reach behind me, pulling on the strings of my corset and slowly releasing a breath as I loosen the hold it has around me.
In an instant, I feel a warmth at my back, and my cheeks flood with that familiar heat.
Calloused fingers sweep my long hair over my shoulder, exposing my skin to the warm breath that floats over it. I drop my hands to my sides.
“I never meant to imply that you aren’t doing enough,” Rylan breathes, his fingers picking up the strings I abandoned. “You know how highly I think of you.”
“Do I?” I whisper as he tugs on the strings, loosening them at a stomach-churning pace. Sometimes I think I don’t have the slightest clue what Rylan thinks of me.
“If you don’t know by now, then I am doing something wrong,” he says, a small laugh escaping on a sigh. I should tell him to stop, to move away, but I can’t.
My breath comes quickly as he slips the bodice off my shoulders and down my arms, leaving it to fall softly to the floor.
“You are the most intriguing and competent woman I have ever laid my eyes upon.” His fingers dust across my shoulder before he slips away.
I blink rapidly as the cool air clings to my back, filling the absence he left. For a moment, I wondered if he would slip his hands under my shift. For a moment, I wanted him to.
Silas’s face flashes in my mind, and all of a sudden, it’s as if someone tipped a bucket of that cool water over me. Dread sticks to every part of my skin that Rylan has touched. Dread and guilt.
I slip my skirts off, and when I look over my shoulder, I see Rylan moving towards the small cot. I didn’t even think about the fact that there was only one bed when August presented the hut, all I could think about was sitting down. But now I find myself slightly mortified.
Did he assume Rylan and I were married? Or at least…together? That guilt comes circling back. I can’t stop thinking about Silas, or more like, what he would think of me.
I tear my eyes away, trying to shake off every feeling swirling in my mind. I let out a sigh, closing my eyes as I try to centre myself.
So long as Iris shows improvement tomorrow, we should be on our way within the next two days, back on our own horses and in the fresh air.
I yearn for long moments of quiet, the view of endless trees and hours of time to think. To clear my mind of the muddled thoughts that leave me feeling trapped inside my own head.
I turn around, but when I move to step forward, a hard body stops me. I let out a sharp breath, my hands landing on Rylan’s bare chest. All of those muddled thoughts disintegrate, giving way to one thing. Him.
“What are you doing?” I breathe, not meeting his stare.
He raises his hand, slipping my hair behind my ear before it inches down the side of my neck, sending ripples of desire to my core. “Trying to decipher what you are thinking.”
I shake my head ever so slightly, my lips parting as I look up to meet his gaze. “I…”
His finger drifts down, trailing over my collarbone where my heart pulses inches away. “Do you want me to walk away?”
I can feel my chest heaving, my breasts grazing his chest with every ragged inhale. I should say yes, I should tell him to walk away, for so many different reasons. But in this moment, there is nothing but him, nothing but his suffocating presence. “Please don’t walk away.”
His lips are fused to mine in an instant, his hands wrapping around my waist and yanking me closer to him. Heat burns a trail through me, sparking at the places where his hands hold me to him.
Our feet tangle as we stumble into the table, and one of the chairs falls as Rylan lifts me onto the tabletop. He only smiles against my mouth as my hands claw at him. I need more, need him closer.
I open my mouth to him, letting his tongue sweep into my mouth as I wrap my legs around his hips, my shift gathering around my thighs. His hands find the hem, and his thumbs dance along my bare legs.
This moment feels like release, like the answer to an unknown question. Yet I feel myself winding tighter and tighter with every brush of his lips against mine. This is the feeling I’ve been yearning for, the feeling I always hoped I would feel when I was kissed.
Rylan tears his lips from mine, and I find myself leaning forward, not wanting to leave any space between us.
“Rosie,” he says, his fingers tracing his own lips while his other hand lies firmly on the bare skin of my upper thigh.
I look up at him through heavy lids. “Mmm?” I slide my tongue over my bottom lip, relishing the taste of him. He watches the movement with a darkened gaze.
I don’t know what he was going to say, and I don’t care. Not as his lips meet my skin, sucking on the spot where my pulse is hammering in my neck. I let out a soft moan, my head hanging back as Rylan’s lips fall lower. He places a kiss just above where my shift keeps me modest.
My hands find his hair, pulling him closer and tugging on the strands at the same time, all while he places searing kisses all over my skin.
I feel like I’m on fire, like every single fibre of my being is on the boil.
It’s a feeling that consumes me, as if I would follow him anywhere so long as he keeps touching me like this. I am completely at his mercy.
His hands cradle my face as he brings his lips back to mine, groaning into my mouth. It almost feels like the hem of my shift climbs higher on my leg, but Rylan’s hands are both on my face.
I can hear the distant sound of rain, a quiet whisper coming from outside the cave system, and it acts as a quiet comfort as I rock my hips forward, needing to feel more.
That feeling of heat bundles up inside of me, like it’s just waiting for him to make it implode.
“Rylan,” I breathe, my head hanging back, his fingers tangled in my hair.
“You tell me if it’s too much, Rosie,” he says. When I don’t answer, he stops everything. “Okay?”
I pull my head up to meet his gaze, his cheeks red with heat. His eyes are a reflection of what I’m sure is lit in my own. “It’s not enough.”
He chuckles, his forehead resting against mine as he catches his breath. “Nothing ever feels like enough with you.”
I close my eyes as I nod. I know what he means. His lips fall against mine once more, this time more delicately than before. His touch is gentle, and every place our lips touch feels like a promise.
Despite how consumed I am by this moment, a small yawn forces its way out from deep in my belly.
Rylan’s ears lift as he smiles. “It’s been a big day.” He toys with the soft linen of my shift, his fingers moving in soothing circles.
“It has,” I utter.
He carefully drags his thumb across my bottom lip, his touch nothing more than a whisper. “You should rest.”
I hesitate before I nod, taking his hand and sliding off the table. Part of me wishes we hadn’t stopped. That we did everything but stop. But Rylan is right. From getting ambushed on the forest road to now, a lot has happened in one day, and both of us need sleep more than anything.
He doesn’t let go of me as we walk towards the bed, not a question in sight of whether it is appropriate for us to share the cot or not. I can’t bring myself to care about what is appropriate right now.
We settle onto the thin mattress, and his arm holds me close. I revel in the warmth of my skin on his skin, my ear pressed to his chest where I can hear his steady heart beating. He doesn’t let me go, even once my thoughts are nothing more than cloudy dreams.