Chapter 18
A Quick Farewell
The day had come for Clara to leave Maxwell Manor.
She wanted to take in every inch of the estate—well, every inch but the path to the rose garden—so she could remember the many happy memories she had made there.
She started with the nursery. It was a smaller version of Rosecrest’s third floor, filled with toys, books, and a reading table.
I was going to paint nursery rhyme characters on the walls, she thought sadly.
She continued to the guest bedrooms, glancing at each room.
Mother had allowed her to design them, and she had given each a different color theme.
They were homey, yet beautiful. She said goodbye to her own pink room.
It was strange to picture a different guest being placed inside.
Next, she climbed to the family quarters. These rooms were more simply done. As Luke did not yet have a family, they were furnished, but only slightly. His wife could decorate the rooms for her own children.
His wife. The thought still hurt.
Clara had now made her way to the masters’ suite.
Even though she knew Luke was in the study with John and Papa, she did not enter his room.
It would not be polite, and it was not as if she had many memories of it anyway.
She wondered if it looked the same, with dark, navy blue fabrics and lightly stained wood.
It was a perfect compliment to the pale blue of the baroness’s suite.
The baroness’s suite. Oh, when would the sadness stop springing itself on her?
That room, she had no trouble picturing, for she had designed it to be the room of her dreams. Light, airy, full of fluffy lace and calming shades of blue.
A small portrait of Joan of Arc on the mantel.
I have to see it, she realized. I must see it one last time.
And so, looking around the corridor to ensure no one saw, she quietly twisted the knob and stepped inside.
The drapes were drawn, so it was relatively dark, but she did not need much light to see the room was empty. The sitting room sofas, rugs, tables … gone. The vanity mirror had been removed from the wall. The poster bed was missing, though how it had been taken from the room, she could only guess.
It is empty. The thought settled deep in the walls of her skull.
Oh, I wish I had never seen it empty. While the logical side of her brain tried to convince her it was just a room, there was something deep, sad, and symbolically painful about the barren space.
She had been removed from Maxwell Manor.
She had been taken from Luke’s side, and someday, she would be replaced.
But maybe even more sorrowful than her being taken away, was Luke being left behind. Her best friend had a large, empty chamber next to his. A big, empty, lonely hole where his companion was supposed to be.
“You take care of yourself,” Lady Merritt whispered affectionately to Luke as she pulled him into a tight hug.
She wore emerald traveling clothes and a melancholy expression.
Her love was obvious, and her sadness at his pain readily apparent.
“Watch over John, too.’ She smiled slightly.
“Don’t let him come back with another horse. ”
Luke snickered, breaking some of the tension that seemed to hover in the foyer. “I doubt he would ever replace Nimbus.” John loved his white horse more than anything.
“True,” the countess responded, “very true. Though that would not stop him from buying Nimbus a companion.” She pulled back a pace, looking Luke up and down as if she were checking his body for wounds, but the only damage he was aware of was hidden within his heart.
She must have come to the same conclusion, because, finally, she sighed.
“Well, say hello to your mother for me.”
“I will,” Luke promised. She moved to say her goodbyes to her son.
“I will ensure things run smoothly while you are away,” Lord Merritt assured Luke. “Do not worry about anything here, just care for your mother.” His look was similar to his wife’s.
Luke nodded. They treat me like a son, but the thought wasn’t necessarily a happy one. It is never nice to realize what you were blessed with right as you are losing it.
And then, in a mumbled whisper, the earl added, “Clara just needs some time apart. I am sure things will be back to normal when you return.” Luke bobbed his head to appease the man, but he had no hope for reconciliation, as friends or otherwise.
This was probably the last he would see of the Merritts.
“Well,” Lord Merritt pulled Luke into a hug, something he had certainly not done before, “take care, my boy.” He patted his back lovingly.
“I will,” Luke replied, his voice full of emotion. He had never met his actual father, but Lord Merritt had always cared for him, teaching him and loving him. The tenderness and loneliness that swirled through Luke as the man hugged his true son was overwhelming.
John and his father exchanged a quick farewell. It wasn’t a true goodbye like his and Luke’s had been. When the boys returned, John would go back to Rosecrest, but Luke could no longer pretend he had a family. Yes, he would be alone, just as he was always doomed to be.
“Clara!” Lady Merritt greeted as the woman finally appeared at the top of the staircase. “We must leave soon. Say your goodbyes quickly. Your father and I will be waiting in the carriage.” She gave her husband a pointed look, and he quickly obeyed, leaving with her through the front door.
Luke did not miss their desire to leave him and Clara alone, but a private farewell sounded more painful than a public one. At least they still had John.
“Goodbye, Clara,” John called up to her as she was only halfway down the staircase.
“Be sure to write and tell us all about your first Season.” He hugged her the moment her boots touched the polished landing.
“I will take care of him,” he whispered a little too loudly, but knowing John, that was probably his intention.
He kept trying to convince Luke he would always be a part of the family, and that he and Clara could still care for each other.
But Luke knew better. The man was naive to think there was any sort of happiness in Lord Maxwell’s future.
“Goodbye, John,” Clara responded with affection. “Enjoy your travels.”
And then, like the useless friend he was, John quickly ran up the staircase. Leaving Luke and Clara alone. Perhaps I will convince him to bring home a horse just so his mother will reprimand him for me, Luke mentally plotted.
The baron’s eyes remained fixed on his brown shoes, as he and the woman who rejected him stood in awkward silence for a moment. Finally, Clara extended something out toward him. “Will you give this to your mother?” she asked, her voice stiff and uncomfortable.
“Yes.” Luke took the envelope without meeting her eye.
“Thank you,” she answered. “Have a safe journey.”
“To you as well,” he said emotionlessly. Then they both took several steps toward their desired destination—Luke, toward the staircase so he could scold John, and Clara toward the front door so she could go to London, find some prince to marry, and leave forever.
It is better this way, Luke tried to convince himself. She will be happier without you. He put a hand on the carved, walnut railing, but he couldn't convince his foot to lift onto the first stair.
You cannot leave like this, his heart begged back, this can’t be how it ends! But nothing with Clara had ended how Luke wanted it to. Don’t let her go! Beg her to stay! But he already had, and there was nothing he could do at this point.
Take the step, he urged his foot, walk away.
But then he realized he had not heard the door open. His heart began to pound within his chest. She is still here.
The hope he believed would never come back knocked lightly on his heart, begging to be called in.
He let his eyes find her. Clara wore her plum-colored travel clothes, her cream bonnet shielding her face.
She had a hand on the front door knob, but her body was facing sideways, not quite to the room, but also not to the door, as if she could not decide which way she would go.
Luke allowed the rest of his body to twist toward her. Choose me, he mentally pleaded. Come back! Be with me.
She took a large, shaky breath, her skirt quivering.
“Clara,” he whispered.
But she didn’t hear, because at that moment, she turned the knob and walked out the front door.