13
AS JAMES DROVE his truck to Sadie’s house, he felt like a teenager about to pick up a girl for their first date. It had been a long time since he’d been interested in anyone and the warmth in his chest at the mere thought of Sadie was welcomed over the emptiness he’d felt for far too long. Of course, his daughter was in the seat beside him so the evening would be far from a date, but James would take every second near Sadie that was possible.
She’d texted him the day before asking if he wouldn’t mind helping her fix a few things around the house and he jumped to say yes. It helped that Tuesday was his day off. She couldn’t leave the store until late afternoon, so she’d invited him and Maddie over for dinner. She’d said the company would be good for her aunt as well. Eager to spend time with Sadie, James also looked forward to meeting JoJo. He’d heard a lot about how kind and giving she was and had a feeling Sadie was an apple that hadn’t fallen far from that family tree.
He glanced over at Maddie then back to the road. He could see what a positive influence Sadie had been in Maddie’s life even in such the short time she’d been helping at the store. An evening with JoJo would be good for her as well. His heart sank a little at the thought of Maddie not having her mom around. His sister-in-law was great, and Maddie loved spending time with his mom, but beyond that Maddie didn’t have a lot of women in her life. He was grateful to Sadie for spending time with her.
He was glad to have her in his life as well. And no one was more surprised than he was at how easily his heart opened at the chance with Sadie. Even though the calendar might say things were moving fast with them, to him it was all a natural progression of his feelings for her, and he could only hope she felt the same.
He had to admit that when he’d kissed her the first time in the passageway, quite a bit of it was fueled by adrenaline. Finding her down there alone and then seeing she’d been hurt almost gutted him. He’d wanted nothing more than to hold her as close as possible, to know at his very core that she was truly okay. When she’d looked up at him, her face cradled in his hand, there was nothing to hold him back from placing his lips on hers.
Best decision he’d made in a long time.
He rubbed his chin with one hand as the other guided the steering wheel of his truck. When the announcer at the football game had drawn attention to James at halftime, it had taken all his strength to force a smile and wave to the crowd. Feeling as if he might throw up, he’d gone behind the grandstands to give himself a minute to regain some composure.
When he’d turned to see Sadie there, his roiling emotions had calmed. Taking pride in the fact that he was good at hiding his feelings, it hadn’t eluded him that she’d noticed something was wrong and came to find him. He hadn’t intended to say anything to her, but she had a tendency to get him to talk more than he was used to. He’d meant it, though, that kissing her was much more enjoyable than talking. The memory of holding her again, her lips sweet and warm against his…
“Why are you grinning like that?” Maddie asked, snapping him from his thoughts.
James blinked, bringing his mind back to the present. He shook his head. Looking like a love-struck fool in front of his daughter before knowing exactly what was going on between him and Sadie was not his best move.
“No reason.”
He pulled the truck into Sadie’s driveway, grateful for the easy change of subject, as well as the short attention span of a teenager. Especially one who was into houses.
“Wow. This place is so pretty.” Maddie said, her eyes wide as she took in the sight of Sadie’s house. “It’s like the perfect farmhouse off the show Home Town or something.”
James had to agree. Everything about it screamed Sadie, from the warm glow of the lights in the window to the pumpkins and happy scarecrow on the front porch, the whole thing said, “Welcome. Come inside and visit.”
He didn’t mind if he did.
Maddie hopped out of the truck as James did the same. He grabbed his toolbox from the truck bed and followed Maddie up the front steps. Before they reached the front door, it opened.
“Hey, you two. Welcome.”
James’ mouth pulled into a grin like an idiot, but he didn’t care. Seeing her was like having the sun break through the clouds, all warmth and light that shot straight to his heart. She was in jeans and a white buttoned-down shirt, her hair pulled up into one of those messy buns as Maddie called it, and her feet were bare, her toes painted a bright yellow. Well, didn’t that just complete the whole soft, sexy package that stood in front of him?
“Hey, Sadie,” Maddie said then gave her a hug.
James blinked. Completely smitten or not, it was time to pull it together. Standing on her front porch drooling was not his best look.
“Thank you so much for having us over,” he said as he stepped into the house after his daughter.
“I’m the one who’s grateful for your help. Making you dinner is the least I can do in return.”
Maddie made her way past them. As James took another step into the front hall, Sadie closed the door and turned. They were face to face, close enough that if he leaned down just a little, he could steal a kiss. Her face was turned up, her eyes looking at his mouth as if she had the same idea.
“I’m so glad you’re here!” A woman’s voice echoed from the other room.
Sadie blinked, the moment gone. “Please. Come in and meet my aunt.”
James nodded and followed her as she led the way, his heart pounding in his chest from her mere nearness. Maybe love-struck didn’t even begin to define how he felt about this woman.
The inside of the house matched the outside, warm and welcoming. The living room had a large sofa with big cushions that asked to be sat on and sunk into. There were tones of yellow and blue all around with spots of green and bright colors here and there via a throw pillow or blanket. Beside it was a large lounge chair, a tiny woman settled into it with a blanket over her legs.
“You must be JoJo,” James said. He set his toolbox off to the side of the sofa and reached out a hand to shake. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You, as well,” JoJo said as she shook his hand.
“I’m Maddie.” Maddie moved around him to do the same.
“Such wonderful manners. It’s nice to meet you, too, Maddie,” JoJo said. “We can’t thank you enough for coming to help.”
“I’ll be honest, I was a little surprised when Sadie asked,” James said, sneaking a look at Sadie who was beside him.
Her cheeks flushed with color, but she didn’t respond.
“Well, I have to admit, I’m not very good at asking for help, and I fear I’ve passed that trait on to my niece. But I think it’s as good a reason as any to have you over for dinner,” JoJo said with a wink.
“Jo…” Sadie said in a tone that matched her cheek color.
“Nothing bad about asking for help.” James looked back and forth at both women. “And I’m certainly not one to turn down a free dinner.”
“Did you make that quilt, Miss Woods?” Maddie asked JoJo as she took a seat at the end of the sofa closets to JoJo’s chair.
“Oh please, call me JoJo. Miss Woods is polite, yet a bit too stuffy for me.” JoJo smiled at Maddie. “And I didn’t make this one, no. A friend from my quilting group made it for me when we got my diagnosis. She wanted me to have it during radiation and recovery to wrap myself up in the warmth and comfort of those who love me.”
“Wow. It is really beautiful. And that’s so cool your friend did that for you.”
“It is cool, isn’t it?”
“I would love to know how to make something like this.” Maddie ran a hand over a corner of the quilt.
“Really? If you want, I can show you how,” JoJo offered.
“No way! That’s awesome.”
James watched as his daughter and JoJo fell into their own world discussing quilt making and his heart warmed in his chest. He was right. JoJo was just as kind and gracious as Sadie and a blessed gift of a positive influence for Maddie.
Sadie nudged his arm. “Come on,” she said as she waved a hand. “Those two will talk quilting for hours, which means we can get going on the stuff I need your help with.”
He grabbed his toolbox and followed her through a doorway into the kitchen.
“I really am surprised you asked me for my help,” he said.
She turned and leaned a hip against the kitchen counter near the sink. As she crossed her arms in front of her, she said, “Oh yeah? Why is that?”
“Well, when I first offered my help, it wasn’t hard to see you were uncomfortable with the idea.”
She smiled and looked down at the floor.
“You did exactly that,” he said as he moved a finger up and down to emphasize her reaction.
She laughed. “Okay. Fair enough.” She tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear and looked at him again. “I do have trouble asking for help.”
“Why is that?” As much as James wanted to lend her a hand around the house, he ached to know more about her, to understand her as completely as possible.
She shrugged. “I grew up having to be pretty independent.”
James glanced into the other room, JoJo and Maddie now looking through a stack of quilts on the sofa. He looked back at Sadie. “Has it always been just you and your Aunt?”
She nodded. “Since I was nine. She’s only twelve years older than me so it was a lot for her to take on at a young age, but she’s basically all I’ve had in life, all I’ve got now.”
She blinked and looked out the window that sat over the kitchen sink. He could tell she was fighting back tears. Although he wanted to know everything about her, the last thing he wanted was to upset her. If it had been her and her aunt against the world, he could only imagine what she must be feeling with JoJo’s illness.
“Well, I’m just glad you asked me to help. What do we need to address first?”
She took in a deep breath and let it out, the smile she gave him relaying gratitude for the change of subject. “First thing is the garbage disposal.” She pushed away from the counter and opened the cupboards beneath the sink. “I’ve watched YouTube videos on how to fix it, but this time I can’t seem to quite get it going again.”
James lifted an eyebrow. “I’m impressed.”
“Impressed I know how to find things on YouTube or impressed I actually have some level of garbage disposal maintenance?”
Her teasing made him laugh, something he was recognizing he hadn’t done in a long time, and it felt good. Everything about being with Sadie felt good. “Both.”
After he took a look at the garbage disposal and fixed that, they moved into the downstairs bathroom to look at a faucet Sadie said was giving them trouble. JoJo and Maddie had since moved into a sewing room at the back of the house, the whir of a sewing machine mixed with talking and laughter floated down the hall.
Sadie sat on the edge of the bathtub as James poked around to see what the problem could be.
“I really am grateful to you for all of this. I know I’m masking it on the outside, but my insides are churning over feeling so…useless.”
He stopped what he was doing and turned to her. He took a rag from his back pocket and wiped his hands then plopped it down on the counter before he leaned against the sink so he could face her. “First of all, you’re not as good at masking your feelings as you think.”
Her mouth dropped open, but then she narrowed her eyes as she smiled.
“Second, it doesn’t make you useless because you need help. You’re human, Sadie. We all need help at some point in life.”
“What are the things you need help with?” she asked.
He chuckled, not expecting her to turn the tables on him. “Well, I feel totally inept most days as a single father to a teenaged daughter.”
Sadie smiled. “You are an amazing father, James. Anyone who spends one minute with Maddie can see that.”
He shook his head and looked at the bathroom door, not wanting Maddie to hear anything. It sounded like music was playing now.
“Trust me, between the music and sewing machine sounds and them talking, they can’t hear us,” Sadie said, reading his thoughts.
Maddie was an amazing kid. But James didn’t feel he could take credit for that. He was gone so much when she was young and then he’d failed at his marriage. What kept him from doing the same as a father?
“You wanna tell me what’s going on in your mind? Based on your furrowed brow, it’s quite a lot.”
James crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know. I just…”
“Doubt yourself. Feel that all the things you don’t do perfectly as a human will someone mess her up?”
He met Sadie’s eyes. “You a mind reader now?”
She laughed and shook her head. “Nope. I’ve just walked the motherhood road with Charlie since her kids were born. She says she asks herself those questions all the time.”
Mark and Amber said the same things to James, yet he struggled to believe they battled the way he did. They worked hard at the marriage and their relationship was solid. Solid was never a word James would have used to describe his and Tiffany’s relationship.
“You said the other night at the football game that no one knew the truth. What did you mean by that?”
James eyed the door once more then looked at the ground. Except his brother, no one knew the whole story about things with Tiffany.
“I understand if you don’t want to share more.”
His eyes met Sadie’s. The sincerity of her words, as well as her genuine heart, gave him the courage to speak.
“Things between me and Tiffany weren’t as great as everyone imagines.” He rubbed his chin then tucked his hand back, his arms crossed his chest. “She loved our life in the NFL. And I did, too. Most of it. She hated it when I retired and hated it even more when I became a cop. Moving to Nearlake was just the cherry on the sundae that was the downward spiral of our marriage.”
Sadie nodded. “Small-town living isn’t for everyone.”
“It wasn’t for her, that’s for sure. But I just wanted…quiet. I wanted the kindness of neighbors and the respect people give us here that would allow Maddie a somewhat normal existence.”
“I’m not saying you need to put up a billboard about your relationship or anything, James, but no one’s relationship is perfect. It seems like you’re carrying a pretty heavy weight over the reality not fitting what others might believe.”
He shook his head. He ran a hand through his hair and then down his face. It was close to impossible to look at Sadie as he spoke, so he chickened out and looked at the ground. “It’s not just that, Sadie. I found out shortly before Tiffany’s death that she was…having an affair. The night she died, she was driving back from what was a supposed girls’ weekend away, but the cops told me she drove off the road because she was texting. Turns out she was seeing a former teammate of mine. She was messaging him when she drove into a tree.”
The quiet in the small bathroom was deafening. James could hear his heart beating in his ears. “I failed her. I failed us. I was so intent on what I thought was best. So intent on what I wanted.”
He shook his head, the memories flowing back as he spoke, his gut churning with regret. “I’ve never told anyone but my brother. And I intend for Maddie to never know. She doesn’t need that.”
He put his hands against the counter behind him, bracing himself for her response. Would she judge him or maybe throw platitudes his way? Tell him it wasn’t his fault. All the stuff he tried to tell himself but could never believe.
Sadie stood and stepped in front of him. She looked him in the eye, cupped his face with one hand and then placed a tender kiss on his cheek before wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight.