Chapter 3 #2
“I do know. And I wish I weren’t.” His sister sat up. “Watch out, Gwen’s coming.”
David looked around and saw Gwen hurrying towards the terrace, looking annoyed. The front of her dress was wet. He jumped up.
“What on earth?”
“One of the fish wasn’t happy that I was playing with them and splashed me.” Gwen scowled as she looked down at herself. “Just look at me! It’s going to take forever to get the smell out.”
Sighing, David nodded at Nanny Drew, who had hurried after the little girl.
“Take her upstairs and get her dressed, will you? And we’ll keep her away from the pond.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
Nanny Drew led Gwen into the house, and Henrietta shook her head.
“I don’t know about you, David, but you’re going to have your hands full with Gwen.”
“And I won’t with you?”
“I like to think I have some self-control.”
David had a feeling that the older of his two young sisters would be more of an issue than the younger.
#
“Thank you for coming today, Caroline,” Eleanor said as she hugged her friend. “Don’t be a stranger to me. I don’t get to see you much lately.”
“It’s not like I have a choice, Eleanor,” Caroline reminded her. “Someone has to keep an eye on what is happening at the house.”
“But your workers know what they’re doing, don’t they?”
“Of course …”
“Then don’t be so worried about everything. You’re allowed to focus on yourself from time to time.” Eleanor grasped her friend’s hands. “You can have some fun. It’s not all about work.”
Caroline wanted to argue against that, but she felt that Eleanor would just give her a more convincing argument.
And she wouldn’t be wrong; she did need to have some fun.
It was just easier said than done when they needed to think about everything to ensure they stayed afloat.
Her father couldn’t do it, so Caroline had to.
She managed a smile and stepped back, moving towards the carriage Eleanor had insisted on getting for her.
“I’ll have a think about it. Thank you again for inviting me, Eleanor.”
“Don’t remain a stranger, Caroline. I want to see you more often.”
“You mean you’re going to get bored seeing Mr Talbot?” Caroline teased.
Eleanor laughed.
“Not a chance. But I love to have my friend around.”
“Now you’re just being kind.”
“When it comes to you, never.”
Caroline was still smiling as she settled back in the carriage, the door closing as the carriage started moving.
She had protested about using a carriage, saying that she could get back on foot without any problems, but Eleanor had insisted.
It was like she didn’t want Caroline to ruin her feet doing something everyone did. She liked to walk.
She wasn’t about to argue with her friend, though. Eleanor was only trying to help.
Caroline just didn’t want to be sitting there watching Eleanor and Mr Talbot converse and look happy. The attraction between them was palpable. While Eleanor said that they weren’t courting, they would be once the Season started, and he could ask her father officially.
Caroline had never understood that part. If a gentleman liked a woman, why couldn’t he just court her? Why did he have to wait until the Season started and ask the father for permission? It felt far too formal for her.
Caroline didn’t understand the rules that came with courtship and marriage. It felt far too clinical for her liking. Everything had to be done just so, which didn’t make sense. From what she knew, love and marriage were not something you could predict.
It wasn’t straightforward. She should know; she had been waiting for love to come along and help sweep her off her feet, but there was nothing.
Caroline was still waiting, and after all this time, she was beginning to think that love didn’t exist. At least, it didn’t for her.
Maybe she was destined not to love anyone.
Or maybe it just hadn’t happened yet. Her mother had said she shouldn’t go chasing something that wasn’t there.
It wasn’t something she could force, after all.
Things like love had to be patient. Caroline was aware that marriage wasn’t always about love; it was about future advantages, and she could accept that.
It wasn’t for her; her parents would never do that to her.
Then again, they wouldn’t be able to protest, anyway.
Nobody had come close to offering marriage.
She was sure there had been times when the gentleman courting her would propose despite her low social standing and lack of money, but it didn’t happen.
They either let her down bluntly or just moved on and married someone else, so Caroline found out about it with everyone else.
That had only happened once, but Caroline was still very bitter about it.
She didn’t appreciate being courted and wooed by someone, only to discover by published banns that he would marry someone else.
The confrontation was still fresh in Caroline’s mind, even though it had happened three years ago.
The cutting words from that gentleman when Caroline demanded to know what he was up to were not words she was about to forget.
You’re too old, Caroline. Sure, you’re beautiful, but once that fades, and it will soon, you’ll be old and penniless. You have nothing to offer me except something that will disappear in time. Why would I waste my time with someone like you?
Caroline could feel the rage building as she remembered that afternoon.
To think she had actually liked the man, and she might have agreed to a proposal if he had offered her.
And then he had to say that, just moments before he said they could still see each other as lovers.
Caroline had slapped him for that; she wasn’t about to degrade herself for someone like him.
After that disaster, offers to court had dropped away to nothing.
By the time the next Season had come along, Caroline was alone.
People were beginning to keep their distance, thinking that something was wrong with her.
As far as she knew, there wasn’t. She didn’t blame her parents for not being as wealthy as everyone else, and she was certainly not ugly. She just knew a lot of shallow people.
If the ton behaved like that over something that wasn’t her fault, Caroline wanted nothing to do with them.
She would be content to become a spinster and turn herself into a governess or a nanny.
Caroline had always wanted children of her own, but if she weren’t going to have children, the next best thing would be to look after them herself.
She did like children, even when they were being nightmares.
At least she would have a sense of purpose in life. Someone would appreciate her, even if it were from an employer to an employee.
It didn’t take long for Caroline to return home, the driver giving her a nod and a smile before leaving, the horses trotting sedately and pulling the heavy carriage along like it didn’t weigh anything.
Caroline watched it go and disappear down the hill before she headed into the house.
Baxter met her at the door as Caroline was taking off her hat.
“Lady Caroline. How was Lady Eleanor?”
“In a good mood, as always.Very happy.” Caroline hoped that nothing was showing on her face as she looked around. “Are my parents up and about?”
“They’re both in the orangery. It’s warmer today, and they wanted a bit of sun.”
“Why not go onto the terrace? Are the slabs still up?”
Baxter nodded.
“I’m afraid so. Jones said they would get it done today, but they’ve been stuck getting the fields ready.”
Caroline sighed. Jones was one of the workers who had stayed behind out of loyalty.
He said they could do many things, but it just resulted in most things being neglected because Jones overestimated their abilities.
Caroline was glad he was around; she just wished he were better at organising things.
“I’ll just go and see my parents.” She headed towards the back of the house. “And then I’m going out for a walk.”
“Yes, Lady Caroline.”
Caroline could tell Baxter wanted to ask why she was going out again, but he decided against it.
Things were a little less formal between the servants and the family who employed them, but they still had to remember themselves.
Caroline knew she would forget herself if she had guests over, and she was over-familiar with the servants.
Who was she fooling? They didn’t have guests over. Aside from Eleanor, but Caroline didn’t count her as a guest. She couldn’t think of the last time they had someone over who could be classed as a guest.
Heading into the orangery, Caroline found her parents sitting in their chairs in the sun, a blanket draped across her father’s lap as he read a book. Lady Gabrielle was frowning at the sewing she was doing. She looked up and saw Caroline first, her squinting fading away as she smiled.
“Darling, you’re home.”
“Mother.” Caroline kissed her cheek and gestured at the sewing. “You do realise that you’re going to ruin your eyesight doing that, don’t you?”
“I need to keep my eye on. I can’t sit here sleeping or staring into the distance.”
“What about reading?”
Lady Gabrielle scoffed.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t want to read all the time. Your father might want to, but I don’t.”
Sir Geoffrey looked up.
“What’s wrong with reading? It’s perfectly fine, and we get to do plenty of it.”
“What if I don’t want to read? I’m sure we’ve read everything in the library.”
“Not quite. I know I haven’t.”
Caroline smiled.
“We could always exchange the books for more. I know Eleanor said she could ask her father …”
“No, don’t be daft. We’ll be fine.” Her father’s expression softened as he reached out to her. “How was it with Eleanor?”
“It was … fine.” Caroline grasped Sir Geoffrey’s hand. “We managed to have some time to talk.”
“That’s good.” Sir Geoffrey beamed. “I’m glad you and Eleanor have plenty of time together. You should get out and see people more often.”
Caroline sighed.
“You know why I can’t do that, Father. We have lots of things to do here. I need to keep things going for you.”
“We have Jones and his workers for that. You don’t need to be concerned.”
Caroline bit back a retort about how much she had been helping the family, but that would end up with an argument.
Her father’s memory was going a little, and while his moments of clarity would be happy for Caroline’s help, he would slip back into a difficult place to get him out of.
Caroline felt awful seeing Sir Geoffrey’s mind go before her eyes, and she couldn’t do anything about it.
She withdrew her hand and kissed her father’s head.
“I’m going to go for a walk. Then I’m going to look at the afternoon letters.”
“Do you have any responses to your advertisement, dear?” Lady Gabrielle asked.
“Not yet, Mother. I hope I will soon, though.”
“Advertisement?” Sir Geoffrey frowned. “What’s going on?”
Lady Gabrielle glanced at Caroline and waved her towards the door.
“You go, darling. I’ll explain to your father. He’s forgotten again.”
“I don’t forget anything!” Sir Geoffrey complained. “I don’t know why you keep talking about my memory going.”
Caroline let her mother talk, closing the door behind her and leaning against it with a heavy sigh.
God, it never got any easier hearing things like that.
Sir Geoffrey would say nothing was wrong with him, but he was forgetting more and more every day.
It wouldn’t be long before he lost it completely. That was going to break her heart.
Not wanting to be put in a lower mood, Caroline headed towards the nearest outside door and stepped out into the warm sunshine. A long walk around the estate to clear her head after being around her friend and her blossoming love was what she needed right now.
It was something she could do to stop herself from feeling jealous.