Chapter 5
David was shocked to see Caroline again. He never imagined that she would cross paths with him so soon after coming back. And when she threw herself at him for an embrace, he couldn’t push her away. It felt good to hold her, which had thrown him a little.
Now he got a good look at her as they walked back to his house, arm-in-arm.
Caroline had been a tall, thin girl with blonde curly hair, pale brown skin, and a beaming smile that never failed to make him smile in return.
She had been taller than him at fifteen.
As a grown woman, she had filled out to have some curves that David had felt when he hugged her.
Her hair seemed to have straightened out, and her skin indicated that she still spent much time in the sun.
With his own height having decided to make him grow when he was eighteen, David was now a head taller than Caroline, the top of her head just level with his chin.
Where she had been tall and gangly, she was small and delicate.
And David wanted to keep holding onto her.
Pushing aside the urge to put an arm around her shoulders – aside from the fact it would be hard to walk like that, he shuddered to think what anyone else thought about it – he glanced over at her as they started down the gradually steep slope.
“You’re not going to be missed, are you?” he asked. “I’m not about to upset your husband by stealing you away, am I?”
Caroline snorted.
“You don’t need to worry about that. My parents know that I go for a walk all the time. And I’m not married, so there will be no husband to get upset about where I am.”
“What?” David stopped and stared at her. “Are you telling me that you’ve never married?”
“No, I haven’t.” Caroline turned to him, looking up at him with her big blue eyes. “Are you surprised?”
“Yes, very. I thought you would be married with several children by now.”
She gave him a tiny smile, looking a little sad.
“I’m afraid that’s not the case. It just … well, finding love and marriage never happened to me. It’s not something I’m happy to admit, but it’s the truth.”
David couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Caroline was beautiful; he could readily admit it to himself. How was it that she was still unmarried?
“You need to close your mouth, David.” Caroline smiled as she tapped his chin. “You’re going to catch flies like that.”
“I … I never thought you would be unmarried by now.”
“Well, I didn’t expect it to happen, either. But it has, and I’m going to have to make do with what I’ve got.”
“How will you do that?”
Caroline’s smile faded, and she shrugged.
“I’m sure I’ll figure something out. Anyway, enough about me and how I can’t find a husband. What about you? Have you managed to find someone who can put up with you and your madness?”
“I beg your pardon?” David pretended to be affronted. “You’re not suggesting something, are you?”
“Well, you were mad. And given how many bones you broke and got yourself hurt, I’m surprised that you’re not walking around with a cane.” Caroline looked him up and down. “At least you’re upright. You don’t seem to be infirm in any way.”
“Hey!” David swatted at her, which had Caroline ducking away from him, laughing. “I’m not the one who always suggested we should do something daring.”
“I didn’t do that!”
“You were always the first one to do whatever we were doing. I wasn’t about to let you get away with that.”
Caroline’s eyes glinted.
“You do remember that it was Eleanor who always came up with these wild plans, right? It had nothing to do with me.”
“You’re the one who encouraged it, though,” David reminded her. “Eleanor would say ‘climb that tree,’ and you would be up the trunk like a shot.”
“Certainly not now. Not with these skirts.”
“That didn’t stop you before.”
Caroline rolled her eyes.
“As if I didn’t have anything else to make me undesirable to gentlemen. You think me climbing trees at my age is going to go down well?”
“I suppose not. But it would be a good talking point.”
Caroline huffed.
“I’m already a topic of conversation. I don’t think I need to tell you how.”
David didn’t need to ask. He already knew. Everyone, especially the young ladies, were kept under scrutiny by the older members of the ton. Mostly because they wanted something to talk about and gossiping about the young ones who were more likely to do something daft was a good pastime.
David was sure he had been under it himself, and while he had done some daft things that would raise many eyebrows, he kept it under wraps.
His father had told him not to do anything that would bring a scandal, and once he became duke, it would make things easier for him.
David didn’t really understand, but he wasn’t keen on having people talking behind his back.
When these people latched onto something unusual, they became the equivalent of wild animals feasting.
It was far more interesting to speak so foully towards someone who didn’t deserve it.
And the women had to deal with it more so than the men, especially those who had not been able to marry before a certain age.
They were considered not good enough, or they had something really wrong with them.
They were treated like lepers, making it harder for ladies to find a husband as they got older.
Whoever had thought that Caroline Fairfax was undesirable as a wife in her younger years had to be insane. David just saw a beautiful woman with a glint in her eye and a confidence anyone would be impressed with. How could anyone think that she was not worthy?
“And you’re saying you’ve never had anyone propose to you?” David asked. “Because I can’t believe that nobody’s asked you to marry them.”
“Well, nobody has,” Caroline said hotly, narrowing her eyes at him. “I thought we weren’t going to discuss this, David. Have you struggled with listening skills since you left?”
“Oh. Right.” David cleared his throat. “My apologies.”
Caroline grunted. They walked on in silence, getting down the steepest part of the slope. David went first, warily aware that it was steeper than he remembered, and he turned back to help Caroline.
Her hand gripped his, and she was more sure-footed than he was, her focus on her feet and not on him. David couldn’t help staring after her as she walked past him and carried on down the slope as it flattened out. Then he shook himself and hurried after her.
He needed to behave himself. Staring at Caroline was not going to help him with anything.
“So,” he said as he fell into step beside her, “you’re going to … what? Not attend the Season? Or are you going to keep trying?”
“I’m not going back to that,” Caroline declared with a shake of her head. “I can’t do that to myself. It’s embarrassing knowing that people are looking at me and pointing.”
“I’m sure they’re not pointing.”
“But they will be looking at me.” Caroline sighed. “I’ve been looking for work instead. I’m thinking of becoming a governess.”
“A governess?”
“I am well-educated, and I like children. And it does pay well, so why not? At least I’ll be able to pave a way for myself.”
David didn’t know what to say to that. He couldn’t see Caroline as a governess; she was too wild for that. But the woman before him was quite different from the girl he left behind. Maybe she would be able to make it work. And if she were earning money, it would help her family.
He decided not to suggest that he could get some of his servants to help if they needed it; David didn’t think Caroline would appreciate it.
“Well, I hope you can attend anything I throw,” he said with a smile and a slight nudge of Caroline’s arm. “Now I’m a duke, I’m going to have to host many events, and I’m not looking forward to it.”
“Aren’t you used to it in the ton, anyway?”
“I’ve never hosted one. And I don’t like being the centre of attention.” David made a face. “Definitely not something I’m comfortable with, but it’s part of my duty.”
Caroline looked bemused.
“I don’t believe that it’s part of anyone’s duty. No one should expect it.”
“Unfortunately, I’ve got to do it. And I hope you will be able to attend.”
“David …”
“I insist. You will be my special guest.”
Caroline didn’t look too happy about that, as if she didn’t know what to think. David hesitated. Had he gone a bit too far with it?
“I’ll think about it,” Caroline said quietly, focusing on where she was putting her feet as they moved down the slope again. “After all, nobody wants a maid of five and twenty years around, do they?”
“I want you around.”
“You’re not most people.”
David chuckled.
“I’m glad you’ve noticed. And if anyone has a problem with it, they’ll have to answer to me.”
“That’s kind of you, David, but I’m content with my current status.” Caroline gave him a small smile over her shoulder. “Really, I am. If love has passed me by, I’m going to have to accept it. I could never marry unless it were for love, anyway.”
“You always said you would marry only for love.”
“And it’s never come to me. So it’s easier to put it aside and focus on my stability and future instead. Besides,” her smile widened a little more, “I quite like the idea of becoming a governess. It sounds like an exciting new path for me, and I might as well make the most of it.”
David didn’t know what to say to that. But he couldn’t help admiring how she was turning a sad part of her life into something positive. He wished he could do it like that.
Caroline Fairfax may have changed a bit, but she was mostly the same. And it suited her.
#
“Are you sure we won’t be intruding, Lady Caroline?” Henrietta asked as she walked across the foyer with Caroline. “After all, your parents might not approve of two children under their feet. Especially when Gwen is so lively.”
Caroline smiled.
“She’s fine. And my parents love children, so they won’t mind. Besides, Mrs Marks will be delighted to cook and bake for guests again. We are so busy that we don’t get many.”