Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Caitlin walked up the sidewalk toward Little Clams, her heels clicking against the cement sidewalk, and her mind lost in thought.
She had felt a little off ever since the surfing competition between Michael and Janelle. Michael hadn’t done anything to make her feel insecure—he was just as sweet and attentive as ever, and she’d never seen him show Janelle any kind of special interest. But she’d been wrestling with the fact that Michael and Janelle shared a passion for surfing, and she herself would never be able to relate to Michael in that way.
She reached Pearl’s classroom just before the summer camp classes were released. A few seconds later, enthusiastic kids poured into the hallways, and Pearl made a beeline for Caitlin.
“Hi, Mommy! How was your day?” the little girl asked as she hugged Caitlin tightly around the waist.
Caitlin beamed at her daughter, feeling touched by how sweet she was. “My day was good, how about you?” The truth was that she’d spent a great part of her day trying to push aside her insecurities, but she didn’t want Pearl to know that she’d had a rough day.
As soon as they got in the car, Pearl began to talk about the day at the beach they’d had with Michael.
“It was so fun to learn how to surf. Michael says I’m really good at it. And I loved watching Michael and Janelle compete. Someday, I want to be a professional surfer like Janelle.”
Caitlin smiled at her daughter through the rearview mirror, but inside, her heart flopped. She knew that Pearl was only saying that because Janelle was the first professional female surfer that she’d seen up close, and the little girl had realized what an exciting career it would be. But she still felt annoyed that her daughter was looking up to someone who she felt was no kind of role model. She was reminded of how ridiculous Janelle had been acting on the beach, and how foolish her over-the-top flirting had looked to both herself and Michael.
I’m glad that Michael isn’t attracted to that sort of woman, she thought. I know a lot of men might feel flattered by that kind of attention. But I still feel bothered that Pearl thinks she’s someone to look up to.
She reminded herself that Pearl didn’t know that Janelle had been flirting with Michael, and only saw her as someone fun, who was excited about what she wanted to do. She did her best to push her thoughts aside, since she was going to a movie with Michael that night, and she didn’t want to have her evening clouded by insecurities.
She dropped Pearl off at her twin sister Alissa’s house and spent a lovely half hour chatting with her sister and getting updates about how she and Dane’s mother Johanna were doing with their injuries.
“And guess what?” Alissa said as they were walking together back toward the front door. “Josie’s engaged!”
“She is?” Caitlin felt an initial rush of happiness for their friend, and then a twinge of mild jealousy. She wanted Josie to be happy, but she wished that she could be happy in the same way. “That’s wonderful news. When are they going to get married?”
“They’re still picking a date. But hopefully it’s soon, because I’m so excited I don’t want to wait!”
They talked about Josie’s exciting news for a few more minutes, and then Pearl scampered up, asking Alissa to come help her with her art project. Caitlin said goodbye to both of them and headed back to her car.
Once she was back at her home, she started to get ready for her date with Michael. She’d intended to simply freshen up and not change her clothes, but as she was retouching her makeup, she paused, looking at herself in the mirror for a few moments.
Michael had always told her that he loved the way she dressed. She wore professional attire almost all the time—pantsuits and blazers and pencil skirts. She always appeared well-dressed. But now she was starting to wonder if her wardrobe made her look frumpy in comparison to someone like Janelle, who wore brand label surfer clothes and looked free-spirited and young.
Do my clothes make me look too serious? she wondered. Like I’m some kind of old lady?
She bit her lip, remembering how at the beginning of her relationship with Michael, she was the one who had dragged her feet a little, being so unsure about falling in love or getting married ever again. Now that she was completely in love with him, she couldn’t wait to get married to him. She felt a twinge of jealousy again as she thought of Josie’s engagement. She was happy for her friend, but she wished that the same thing would happen to her.
Her heart fluttered with worry as she wondered if she had pushed a serious relationship with Michael off for too long. What if he had given up on the idea of marriage with her?
She stepped out of the bathroom and went into the kitchen, wanting to drink a little more coffee. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t hear Michael enter the house behind her, and jumped when she heard someone say, “Hey,” behind her.
“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry,” he said, laughing and folding her into a hug. “I didn’t realize you didn’t hear me come in.”
“It’s okay,” she said, laughing breathlessly. “I just got really lost in thought, I guess.”
He smiled down at her lovingly. “What were you thinking about?”
Heat started to creep up her neck. She didn’t want to tell him about all of the things she’d been struggling with—insecurity and jealousy and worry. “It was nothing.” She shook her head, smiling.
He didn’t seem to be buying it. “No, really. You must have been thinking about something. And you look kind of stressed. Is everything okay?”
“I…” She bit her lip, wondering what to say. “It’s just—well, I know you’re a magnet for pretty girls. I just feel like… well, sometimes I feel like perhaps I might be a little plain in comparison to them.”
Michael inhaled, taking her face in his hands. “Caitlin,” he said, looking right into her eyes. “You are the only woman I see. I love you. And I have thought you absolutely stunning from the very start.”
Her heart warmed as she heard his words. “Okay,” she said, her voice soft as she beamed up at him. She believed him, and they brought their heads together for a kiss.
“You ready for some dinner?” he asked her, grinning. “I’m so hungry I could eat a whole shark.”
“Do they serve shark at The Maple Street Diner?” she teased.
“We’ll have to see.” He winked at her and took her hand. They walked out into the fresh summer night, and her heart felt light and peaceful.