Chapter Eighteen
Samara
Shortly after sunset, I was escorted through the winding caverns of Damerel to the outside.
I tipped my head back, inhaling the night air. I hadn’t left in… months.
The three moons lit the night. Phrygia and Lagina were just slivers, while Caria was half full. Once, the sight of the night sky would have delighted me. Now it was a reminder of the fact I would only ever be outside while the moons reigned.
Demos’s was the first face I recognized, stern as ever, looking past Raphael’s shoulder as I emerged.
His gaze was disapproving, which hurt, even though I should have been used to it.
There was no forgiveness for my plot against Raphael—I wasn’t sure I deserved it, even if Raphael hadn’t earned my forgiveness either.
A half dozen guards, all women, stood at the ready, each positioned by a night-black horse.
One horse, however, didn’t fit in with the well-groomed stallions.
“Alphonse!” I rushed to his side, stroking his mane and cooing softly. His palomino coloring stood out amongst the sea of silky black-haired horses, not to mention he was at least a hand shorter than the rest of the horses.
“You did keep him safe,” I murmured to Raphael. I hadn’t forgotten about the horse we’d stolen, but I’d had bigger concerns in the past few months.
“I told you I would,” Raphael said simply. As if I should have known better than to doubt him.
Something in me softened against my will. Maybe I should have.
“The southern kingdom is about three weeks’ ride away. We’ll be riding at night and through the early hours after dawn.”
I frowned. “Can the horses manage so well?” Could I?
“These are Nykta horses,” Demos said, appearing on my other side. “They’re bred to have better night vision and improved stamina. They could manage the trip in two and a half weeks, comfortably.”
I was surprised the general was actually volunteering information after how he’d ignored me over the past few weeks.
It was odd to think, but I’d missed the grumpy general.
Alphonse nickered, not liking my divided attention.
He was decidedly not some well-bred stallion.
Which meant if he was here, it was because Raphael had wanted me to have something familiar for this journey.
I slid a glance at the vampire, the same one who for weeks had brought musicians to the castle for me to listen to without saying a word, and I softened further.
Then I realized what he’d said. “I can’t ride after the sun rises.” I’d been working on fighting that shameful compulsion, just as I constantly fought the desire for blood and proximity to Raphael. I’d made some small progress, but it was on the order of minutes and seconds, not hours.
“That’s why there’s a carriage,” Demos said dryly.
Raphael cut his general a look. “You can choose during the night hours: either rest in the carriage or ride on a horse.”
“Horse,” I said immediately. I’d had enough confinement for the past while. I wanted to savor as much of the outside as possible, and while a carriage was a luxury, looking at it now, it seemed like another cage. “But I…”
“Haven’t magically learned how to ride a horse in the past few months?” Raphael supplied.
Yes. That.
“Not a problem,” Raphael continued. “You’ll ride with me.”
“I could learn,” I protested. It couldn’t be that hard, right?
“That will slow us down more,” Demos sighed. “The carriage would be easiest.”
“Or I could ride with someone else,” I said, a little more desperately.
“No,” was Raphael’s immediate response. “What, now you’re scared to ride with me?”
Scared to spend hours with my body pressed flush against Raphael as the horse rocked us back and forth, his neck inches from my fangs?
My stomach clenched. Not exactly.
“Fine. I’ll ride with you. But I do want to learn how to ride by myself as we go.”
“Deal,” Raphael said, stepping aside. Doing so revealed the two-seated saddle on Alphonse’s back. As though he’d already known what the outcome would be.
As if he and I were inevitable.
At least now I didn’t need Raphael’s assistance to mount. I ignored his hand as I mounted behind him, drawing my shoulders back.
With a proper two-person saddle, at least I didn’t need to sit in front of Raphael.
“Unless you want to fall off and crack your skull, I suggest you wrap your arms around me,” Raphael offered mildly.
When I took too long, weighing the pros and cons of a broken skull against more contact with the vampire king, he added, “If you do break your skull for stubbornness, I’ll pour my blood down your throat to heal you.”
That had my arms snapping around his waist in a hurry, even as my fangs ached at the morbid thought.
“Happy now?” I groused.
“Just like old times,” he teased.
I resisted a shiver.
This was going to be a long, long journey.
The first few days were as exhilarating as they were miserable.
Being out in nature again was wonderful. So much of my life had been spent in Greymere. The little taste I’d had when we’d journeyed before… I was almost nostalgic for it.
The journey was mountainous, but not monotonous.
The stone turned from the sharp gray of Damerel to a softer clay path that allowed for breathtaking views.
Trees dotted our journey as well, and in the woods, with my improved vision, I saw different animals, nocturnal creatures going about their business.
But Raphael was always there. Demos rode at our side, and I could feel him constantly watching me, as if at any moment I might strike Raphael.
Raphael, for his part, ignored it. When the night sky lightened with daybreak, we stopped, and I was transferred to the carriage like a useless babe, where I was forced asleep.
I fought as hard as I could against the compulsion.
The vulnerability was terrifying, even if, logically, I knew Raphael—for any other faults—would rip apart any threat far more effectively than I could dream of.
I’d spent over a decade hiding myself any way I could at night. The ability to sleep lightly—or not at all—had been a small piece of security, of safety, when I had no other way to protect myself.
Something else I’d been robbed of.
At some point, our retinue would stop fully for the day, but I had no way to know what was going on when that happened.
I trusted Raphael, in this at least, but my hatred for the newfound vulnerability remained.
When the sun set once more, and I was transferred to the back of Alphonse, I was treated to a different form of torment—my fangs constantly resting inches from Raphael’s neck.
Until one gloaming when I awoke, and Raphael stood by a different horse, one of the Nykta. Its black coat was the same dark shade as the rest, with a small white mark on its forehead.
He held the long reins out to me. “You said you wanted to learn to ride.”
I frowned. I had said that, though since it would slow us down, I’d assumed it was a quickly forgotten request. Apparently not.
“Why can’t I learn to ride on Alphonse?” Having not spent much time around any other horses, they unnerved me.
The old steed was at least familiar, and I’d gotten used to him, spending all my energy being afraid of Raphael instead.
“This is safer. Nykta horses are better for navigating the low light of the evening on uneven terrain.”
Did I believe Raphael? Yes.
Did I also believe the horse was staring at me with beady black eyes that promised retribution if I attempted to ride her?
Also yes.
I took a step toward the horse and nearly jumped as it snorted.
“Easy,” Raphael said. I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or the horse.
I took another step forward all the same, noting the double saddle as I approached, praying to any of the gods who might listen to a vampire-witch that it didn’t mean what I thought it did.
I pulled my foot into the stirrup and swung my other leg over the horse. The movement wasn’t easy, especially with her being taller than Alphonse, but I managed it all the same. The mare shifted under me, ears flicking back, but did not, thankfully, immediately buck.
I could do this.
Raphael offered the reins to me. I grabbed them, our fingers grazing.
“Settled?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Good.”
He took a step past me and easily mounted, sitting behind me on the horse. I hadn’t been quite na?ve enough to believe the double saddle was there on the horse’s back because there wasn’t a spare, but I’d hoped.
What I was altogether unprepared for was for Raphael’s arms to wrap around me.
“Must you?” I snapped, ignoring the way the warmth of his arms immediately penetrated my chilled skin.
“You want me to be safe teaching you to ride, don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t mind if you altogether slid off this saddle and onto your ass,” I snapped.
Raphael chuckled, and I would have sworn I felt it in my bones.
“If you two are so inclined, we would like to be on our way before dawn,” Demos called over.
“Tap her with your heels.”
I obeyed, and the horse lurched forward, jolting me back into Raphael. He steadied me, hands never straying even as I felt warm all over my body.
“Easy,” he said again. “Contessa is a responsive mare, so a gentle tap is plenty. She’ll do most of the work, so you just need to let her know what you want.”
I tried to steady myself, but each squeeze of my calves had her jolting.
“Relax, Samara.” He pointed ahead. “Have her follow Demos.”
I forced my muscles to unclench, one by one, and eventually found a rhythm.
“If you want her to stop, just give a short tug of the reins,” Raphael explained. “Beyond that, hold them loose. It can be hard to modulate at first, but you’ll figure it out. Each horse is different. Contessa is pretty forgiving.”
Despite his reassurances, I was pretty sure Contessa would trample me at the first opportunity out of the saddle with my sudden jerking and whatnot.
I let out a sigh and tried to follow Demos.
Then— “Contessa?”
“Hmm?”
“I thought naming a horse was silly,” I muttered.
“I thought it was charming,” Raphael corrected.
Charming. I tried not to laugh at the thought of anyone being charmed by me. I’d named Alphonse because I felt he deserved a name, even if no one else knew it. The same way I’d held on to Samara Koisemi all the years in Greymere when I was nothing but Girl or You to Nelson and the rest.
Samara Koisemi wasn’t a prisoner. She wasn’t a vampire, or even a witch. She’d just been a void with a mother who didn’t quite know how to love her.
Raphael shifted behind me, rubbing one hand over his chest while the other stayed at my hip.
“Feeling pensive?” he murmured.
My mental shields. I’d been so focused on riding Contessa that they’d slipped. I slammed them back in place, cutting off the view of my emotions.
Raphael quietly guided my movements while we progressed.
When I managed to hold the mare at a steady pace for more than ten minutes, or loosened my death grip on the reins, or even just relaxed my body, following Contessa’s swaying rhythm, he offered a word of praise here and there that made my chest warm.
The stars shone overhead. Though we were still in the mountains, the landscape had shifted. Raphael told me bits and pieces of the land we were in, of the creatures the forest held.
“No kobolds here,” he teased. “Or ogres.”
Ogres favored the marshes, kobolds the forests. “Then what else?”
“Griffins aren’t altogether uncommon. They’re diurnal, though.”
Which meant I wouldn’t see them.
“Golems will be out at any time of day,” he offered. “But they’re often camouflaged with the stone.”
“How do you see them, then?”
He pointed past me, off to the right. “See how that boulder is a little too round?”
I nodded. “Is it really…”
“Indeed. They’re somewhat clumsy, so they wind up getting chipped away over time and their edges smooth out.”
I tried to focus on the outline. It was a little too round—not just at the top, weathered by the elements, but curving in. I leaned forward, squinting even with my improved vision. The sudden shift unbalanced Contessa, and she stumbled. I started to slip—
Strong arms yanked me back into the saddle.
Arms that didn’t immediately loosen their tight grip from around my midsection.
“Um, Raphael, I’m okay,” I squeaked.
His grip immediately loosened. “Apologies.”
“Besides, even if I fall, I’m not a breakable human anymore.” I meant it to come out as a jest, but the hint of bitterness made its way onto my tongue all the same.
“And yet, I don’t relish the thought of you cracking your skull,” he growled.
It was quiet after that. An hour passed, then another.
Although Contessa was obviously doing the bulk of the work carrying us, riding the horse was far harder when I wasn’t the passenger.
My body ached, especially my thighs, but I’d never complain.
Most children learned to ride by ten or twelve if their family had horses.
Sometimes, in Greymere, when I didn’t dare sleep yet, but stayed tucked away, I thought of all the things I would have to do when I got out.
I’d need to learn a trade, since rat catching would hardly suffice.
Housekeeping, perhaps. I’d fantasized about being a tinkerer, working in a forge.
But there were so many other things I’d thought of—needing to learn to cook, to barter, to flirt.
At least now I was learning to ride a horse.
It was still a few hours before dawn when Demos slowed his horse and slid beside us. “The inn is up ahead.”
The words were spoken squarely to Raphael, the general not sparing me even a glance.
Vampires could hold grudges for a very long time.
“What inn?” I asked all the same. Thea would have been proud.
When Demos pointedly didn’t answer, Raphael explained, “We’re going to stop early so everyone can get some rest and relax. There’s no need for a breakneck pace. A day in real beds will do everyone well.”
“And… they’re okay with us staying there?” Or perhaps Raphael and Demos would thrall them all. The thought of the poor minds manipulated into letting predators into their home turned my stomach.
“It’s run by vampires.” Demos rolled his eyes at my obvious look of shock. “It’s not as though every vampire lives in the capital. Especially now that we’re in the southern kingdom.”
I hadn’t even realized we’d crossed the border.
“The southern kingdom is more dispersed,” Raphael explained. “There are towns and other settlements outside the capital. In my kingdom, though, most do stay in Damerel.”
It should have relaxed me that we weren’t going to be invading a human home, especially with my throat aching the way it did, but it reminded me of the fact that the Witch Kingdom was surrounded by vampires.
And if the ancient grimoire I’d been forced to leave locked under my bed was to be believed, I was supposed to keep the witches safe. Not ride horses with the enemy.