Chapter 13
Katrina
Ipulled up to Shanice's apartment building at midnight, my hands still shaking on the steering wheel. The image kept replaying. Olek. That woman. The little girl with his eyes. The kiss.
The fucking kiss.
I pressed my palms against my eyes, willing myself not to cry.
Not yet. Not until I was alone. The apartment was on the third floor, and I took the stairs because the elevator was broken again.
The hallway smelled like someone was cooking curry, and I could hear a baby crying through one of the doors.
Normal. This was normal life. Not mansions and Russian mob bosses and contracts that were supposed to be simple. I knocked softly.
Shanice opened the door immediately, like she'd been waiting. "Jesus, Kat. It's midnight." She stopped when she saw my face. "What happened?"
"Is Zara asleep?"
"Yeah, went down around eight. Come in." She pulled me inside and locked the door behind us. "Talk to me."
"I just," My voice cracked. "I needed to see her. Make sure she's okay."
"She's fine. She's always fine." Shanice studied me. "But you're not. What happened at work?"
"Nothing. Everything. I don't know." I headed toward the small bedroom where Zara slept.
My baby sister was curled up under a princess comforter, her stuffed rabbit clutched to her chest. Seven years old and still so small. So innocent. So dependent on me to keep her safe. I sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair back. She stirred but didn't wake.
"I love you," I whispered. "I'm going to figure this out. I promise."
Behind me, Shanice cleared her throat softly. "Let her sleep. Come talk to me."
I kissed Zara's forehead and followed Shanice to the living room. She poured us both whiskey—cheap stuff that burned going down.
"Now," she said, settling onto the couch. "Tell me what's really going on."
"I told you. Nothing."
"Bullshit. You don't show up at midnight looking like your world just ended over nothing." She sipped her drink. "Does this have something to do with that money?"
Everything had to do with that fifteen thousand dollars. Because he’d kept his word and given me the other half.
"It's complicated."
"Then, uncomplicate it."
I wanted to. God, I wanted to tell someone the truth.
About the contract. About Olek. About how spectacularly I'd fucked up by falling in love with a man who was never supposed to be more than a transaction.
But I couldn't. The contract had a confidentiality clause.
And even without it, how could I explain?
"I just needed to see Zara," I said finally. "Make sure she's safe."
"She's safe. She's always safe with me." Shanice set down her glass. "But actually, I'm glad you're here. We need to talk."
Something in her tone made my stomach drop. "About what?"
"About Zara. About," she took a breath, "about me going back to school."
"That's great, Shanice. You've been talking about it for years."
"I enrolled for the spring semester. Classes start in January."
"That's amazing. You'll do great." I nodded to her.
"Which means I can't watch Zara full time anymore."
The words hit like a physical blow. I don’t know why it took a minute for my mind to catch up to the fact that she couldn’t do both–go to school and keep Zara.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, Kat. I really am. But the classes are during the day, and I'll need to study at night, and I can't do both. Not if I want to actually graduate."
"But," I couldn't breathe, "you've been watching her for three years."
"I know. And I've loved every minute. You know that." Shanice's eyes were wet. "But I've put my life on hold for three years. My education. My career. My—everything. I need to do this for me."
She was right. Of course, she was right.
Shanice had given up so much to help us.
Had hidden us, protected us, taken care of Zara while I worked impossible hours.
She'd asked for nothing except the money to cover rent and food. I’d been using her, her kindness and her love for Zara.
Not intentionally, I was getting my shit together, and it was taking longer than I imagined.
I understood now how selfish it’d been to keep her at a standstill while I figured it out.
However, I appreciated her and paid for everything around here.
We were both grateful for the other person, but now things needed to change.
I respected her choice, and if I was honest, I was jealous that she could live out her dreams. I’d been thrown into the position of taking care of Zara when we lost our parents.
My father killed my mother in a fit of rage while being high.
She wouldn’t give him money, and now he was in jail rotting for his mistake.
Then I got involved with my ex, and things got abusive.
Then he was arrested and got his buddies to harass me for him.
That’s when I ran. My dreams of being a writer had been crushed since all I had time for was Zara, work, and now Olek.
"When?" I managed.
"After Christmas. I'll keep her through the holidays, but we’ll discuss what comes next." She reached for my hand. "I'm sorry. I know this messes up your plans."
Plans. What plans? Cause every one I made seemed to go to shit shortly after. In just under two months, I was supposed to disappear. New identity. New city. New life. But I couldn't do that without childcare. Couldn't work. Couldn't support us.
"It's okay," I heard myself say. "You're right. You need to live your life. I'll figure something out."
"Are you sure? Because I can try to find someone …"
"No. It's fine." I squeezed her hand. "You've done more than enough. This is my responsibility, not yours."
"She's not a responsibility. She's your sister, mine too. And she's amazing." Shanice smiled sadly. "I'm going to miss her like crazy."
"She'll miss you too."
We sat there in silence, drinking our whiskey, both of us avoiding the elephant in the room. I had no plans. No backup. No idea how to make this work.
Unless the idea formed slowly. Dangerously. Maria, one of the cooks who lived on the grounds, had a daughter. Twelve or thirteen, I thought. Old enough to watch Zara sometimes. And if I talked to Olek, maybe …
I stopped myself. I couldn't talk to Olek. Not after tonight. Not after seeing him with his ex and their daughter and realizing he had a whole life, I knew nothing about. But his house was a fortress. Secure. Safe. The safest place Zara could be.
And Maria's daughter could watch her during the day while I worked.
Zara could go to the local school—better than the one in Homewood.
I could see her every day instead of just on my days off.
It could work. If I could swallow my pride.
My hurt. My absolute terror at letting Olek that far into my life.
"You're thinking," Shanice said. "I can see the gears turning."
"Maybe I have an option."
"Yeah?"
"My boss. He has," how to explain this? "He has space. And security. And there's another staff member with a daughter who could help."
"You want to bring Zara to live at your job?" Her eyebrows furrowed.
"Just temporarily. Until I figure something else out."
"Is that safe? You said your boss is …" She lowered her voice even though we were alone. "You said he's connected. Too bad people."
"He is. But he's also," What? Kind? Protective? The man I was falling for? "He's fair. And his house is probably the safest place in Pittsburgh."
"Kat."
"I know. I know it's not ideal. But it's better than her being here while Marcus is out there looking for us." I met her eyes. "Soon, Marcus gets out. I need Zara somewhere he can't reach her."
Shanice was quiet for a long moment. "You really trust this guy?"
Did I? Three hours ago, I would have said yes without hesitation. Now, I didn't know what I trusted. But I knew Marcus was coming. And I knew I'd do anything to keep Zara safe. Even if it meant going back to face the man who'd just broken my heart.
"I trust him with Zara's safety," I said finally. "That's what matters."
"Okay." Shanice nodded. "Then do it. Talk to him."
I finished my whiskey and stood. "I should go. Let you sleep."
"You could stay. Take the couch."
"No. I need to…" What? Go back to the mansion? Face Olek? Pretend my world hadn't just imploded? "I need to think."
Shanice walked me to the door. "Hey, Kat?"
"Yeah?"
"Whatever happened tonight, whatever made you come here—just remember that you're strong as hell. You've survived worse than this, and I love you girl."
Had I? I wasn't so sure anymore.
“I love you, too.” I said before leaving.
I drove back to the mansion in a daze, my mind cycling through options and dead ends. Talk to Olek about Zara. Find a way to make it work. Keep her safe. That was the priority. Everything else—the contract, my feelings, the image of him kissing another woman—had to come second.
I pulled into the staff parking lot at 2 AM.
The mansion was dark except for a few lights on the third floor.
Olek's floor. Was he awake? Looking for me?
Or was he with his ex, discussing their daughter and their future and all the things that didn't include me?
I turned my phone on, set it on the seat, and sighed. My phone buzzed catching my attention.
OLEK
Where are you? We need to talk.
Please. Let me explain.
Katrina. Answer me.
Ten texts. Twelve. All growing more desperate. I should ignore them. Should make him wait. Should protect what was left of my heart.
Instead, I typed:
I need to talk to you too. Tomorrow. About something important.
The response came immediately.
Now. Come to me now.
Tomorrow. In your study. Noon.
Katrina, no.
I turned off my phone and headed to my room.
Tomorrow, I'd ask him for help with Zara. Tomorrow, I'd figure out how to survive the rest of our days. Tonight, I'd let myself break. Just a little. Just enough. I locked my door, climbed into bed fully dressed, and finally let myself cry.