Chapter 6 #3
“Lizzy, have you lost your mind? What are you doing? Spying at doors? What if Mr. Darcy had caught you? Could we possibly make a worse impression and prove more lack of decorum to the gentleman? Upon my word, I wonder that he did not run from our house an hour ago! The man must be a saint to bear such offenses.”
Mrs. Gardiner was angrier than Elizabeth had seen her in a long while —perhaps ever.
“Please forgive me, Aunt; I was just curious. I apologise for all the distress we caused you…”
Mrs. Gardiner interrupted her with a gesture.
“Lizzy dearest, I do not want to put any blame on you, but…I must say I was quite shocked to see Mr. Darcy in my house, and I am embarrassed by everything that happened. I still cannot believe that he agreed to assist your father and uncle. No other gentleman of Mr. Darcy’s stature would allow himself to be involved in such a sordid story.
Did I ever mention to you that I grew up in a small town only five miles from Pemberley?
Pemberley is Mr. Darcy’s estate, and his family is one of the most prestigious and admired in Derbyshire.
I never dreamt to see the master of Pemberley visiting us.
He tried to help Lydia, and she repaid him by offending him horribly.
Not to mention your previous unfavourable account of Mr. Darcy, Lizzy.
You described him to us as if he were in possession of all the faults and wrongs in the world.
And now you are spying on him? Is this how we show our gratitude? ”
Elizabeth swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, unable to reply.
She had never considered that her aunt could be so affected for reasons of her own.
She recollected Mrs. Gardiner speaking of her childhood in Derbyshire —even remembered Mrs. Gardiner chatting with Wickham at Longbourn about this —but until that moment she had not given it much attention.
Mrs. Gardiner —usually calm and self-confident —was nervous and troubled about Mr. Darcy’s mere presence in her house. What would she think or do, knowing that Elizabeth had rejected his marriage proposal with the greatest lack of civility? That was a secret Elizabeth was doomed to carry forever.
And the question returned, even more disturbing and repeated by Mrs. Gardiner herself: Why would he put everything aside to help them? What did he have to gain from all this? And what was he fighting about with her father?
There was no time for further discussion as the gentlemen entered, and they barely had time to rise and curtsey.
Elizabeth searched their expressions with unconcealed interest. All three of them were obviously troubled, her father more than the others. Mr. Bennet was pale, and his eyes had lost any spark; he said nothing and avoided Elizabeth’s inquiring eyes.
“I shall leave you now; please wait for a note from me tomorrow,” Darcy addressed the gentlemen with a warm friendliness that contradicted any previous disagreement.
Mr. Bennet shook hands with the guest, and Elizabeth witnessed her father bowing to Darcy with an expression of deep emotion that she had never seen before.
“Sir, I cannot express my gratitude, and I will never —”
“Mr. Bennet, I confess I am in a great hurry as I am quite hungry, and I am sure you must be too,” Darcy hastily interrupted him in an apparently cheerful mood, which shockingly clashed with Mr. Bennet’s. “I will wait for you both tomorrow at noon. I wish you all a lovely evening.”
He greeted the ladies, looking only at Mrs. Gardiner, then left. A profound silence fell behind him, two pairs of eyes staring at the other two with complete incomprehension and uneasy curiosity.
A sense of relief enveloped Darcy when he eventually found himself in the solitude of his carriage.
He was exhausted from his argument with Elizabeth’s father and also from his efforts to avoid Elizabeth.
He struggled to keep his eyes from her, to not address a single world to her, and to demand she be left out of their discussion.
He went to the Gardiners’ to see her, to be in her proximity —probably for the last time —and then he denied himself that gratification.
However, all his senses were desperately aware of her presence.
Even when they were in the library, fighting over the payment of Wickham’s debts, his thoughts were only of her.
Now everything was settled. Wickham’s debts were in his hands, and hopefully, a commission would soon be available for that scoundrel in the North. The expenses were less significant than the satisfaction of being able to control Wickham.
He would marry poor, silly Lydia Bennet; Darcy himself secured them a special license.
That was a mistake he could not avoid. Mr. Bennet was not fortunate enough to prevent the marriage as Darcy had done in Georgiana’s case.
It was painful for Darcy to observe Elizabeth’s father struggle to reach a haven in a stormy situation that could have no positive resolution.
Darcy was reluctant to confess to Mr. Bennet his intention to take Wickham’s debts upon himself.
He suspected the gentleman would reject it; therefore, he only shared his decision after everything was done and could not be changed.
Both gentlemen’s opposition was as strong as he expected, and they argued longer and more strongly than the subject deserved.
Final ly, Darcy had his way. In exchange, he asked the gentlemen to promise him their secrecy about the matter.
He did not want Elizabeth to know the true extent of his involvement.
He did not want to create a wrong impression or to be subjected to expressions of gratitude from her.
But he could not ask Mr. Bennet to keep the details from his favourite daughter —not without raising her suspicions.
So the only solution was to require that the details of their affair be restricted to the three gentlemen.
Of course, Wickham knew too, and there would always be the danger of disclosure from such an untrustworthy man.
But surely, he had no reason to make himself even more of a fool in front of Elizabeth.
If he ever revealed that secret, he would do it more from stupidity than intention.
But would Elizabeth agree to speak to Wickham on private matters again after everything that had occurred?
She did mention earlier that it had been months since she ceased considering Wickham a friend.
Was it possible that she guessed some of his true character on her own?
Mr. Bennet also declared that Elizabeth had insisted that he forbid Lydia to go to Brighton.
Had she changed her feelings even though she did not read his letter?
Darcy shook away his thoughts and turned his attention outside.
He must learn to banish any concerns regarding Elizabeth.
He had to force himself to dismiss her from his mind.
And from his heart. He had to conquer his weakness.
He had now accomplished an important duty and helped her family out of a dangerous situation.
He had proved to her that his resentment was not so strong as to make him happy about her tragedy.
He had shown more courtesy than anyone could expect from him.
The past was now closed, and in his future, there was no place for even the memory of Elizabeth Bennet.