Chapter 7 #3
“I apologise for any offense I might have given you, Aunt. But you must understand how I felt when I discovered your strange friendship with someone well acquainted with me, whose identity was kept hidden. I do not expect to approve every step but certainly the most important ones since I am responsible for you both,” Darcy concluded.
“But is this young woman a stranger or not? Would you be so kind as to enlighten me? How do you come to know her?” the countess insisted severely.
“She is the daughter of a country gentleman who owns an estate a few miles from the one Bingley rented in Hertfordshire. I met the family last year when I spent a couple of months at Netherfield,” he answered hastily.
“And?” the countess continued. “What exactly are your objections at present?”
“I found it wrong that Georgiana chose to conceal her identity and to visit parts of London we barely knew existed, befriending people completely unknown to all of us. But I said nothing, only to discover that she has built a close friendship with someone I have known before and of whom I cannot approve. This is what happens when one is not careful in dealing with strangers.”
“I am sorry that you are upset, Brother,” Georgiana whispered.
“I was wrong indeed; I am as poor a judge of people’s character as I was in the past —forgive me, please.
But you should not have addressed Miss Lizzy as you did, even more so since you happen to know her.
Surely, you cannot believe she knew my identity any more than I knew hers.
I was the one who went there; I was the one who introduced myself as ‘Miss Anna.’”
“Georgiana, I can see you do not agree with me. But you must know I want only your well-being. There is nothing I would not give you, nothing I would not do to assure your happiness. I allowed you this liberty, but we must all admit it was not the wisest thing to do.”
Georgiana finally faced her brother, holding his gaze.
“But, William, I still do not understand what I have done that is so wrong. I just made a new acquaintance whose company I enjoyed, and by coincidence, she proved to be someone of whom you disapprove. Is Miss Lizzy —Miss Bennet —a dangerous criminal who threatens our family? Have I put us in danger by spending time with her in the park?”
The question took Darcy by surprise, as well as the tone —half sharpness, half pain. He cleared his throat, glared at his aunt, then looked at his sister again.
“Dearest, we are not talking about a dangerous criminal, nor did you put the family in danger…but it could have happened, so you must be cautious in the future. You easily became friendly with someone whose situation in life is far below yours, who concealed her true identity from you. People tend to take advantage of your generous heart.”
The carriage stopped in front of the countess’s house, and Georgiana hurried to open the door. Before she exited, she turned to her brother.
“I see that you refuse to understand my words and insist on placing the blame where it does not belong. You must not worry —that friendship has ended for good. It is fortunate that you discovered the truth in time and restrained me once again from being foolish. I shall never again do anything before asking your opinion,” she said then ran inside the house, tears falling down her cheeks.
“Georgiana!” he called in vain.
The countess followed her niece and then turned briefly to Darcy.
“You are being irrational, Nephew. You need to rest and put your thoughts in order. We shall not have a formal dinner tonight, so we do not expect any company. Have a good day.”
Darcy was left in the middle of the street, uncertain of what to do and wondering how it could have occurred.
Elizabeth Bennet was the ruin of his life; she continued to destroy his peace of mind and heart every time he thought he might escape her forever.
He walked towards his house, his head down, staring at his own feet. The light, the warmth of the shining sun, and the sound of others’ voices felt like painful burdens weighting his shoulders and slowing his progress towards the refuge of his dark library.
How was it possible that he allowed this to happen?
He should have known that something was wrong the first moment that Georgiana’s tales disturbed him and the description of “Miss Lizzy” sounded familiar to him.
He had been oblivious to Elizabeth’s presence in town for the last two months.
He only became aware of that fact when she visited him, asking for his help.
But he should have checked. He should have known and done something.
The sorrow in his sister’s eyes was unbearable.
She seemed deeply hurt, in such pain that he wondered what precisely he had told her that did so much damage to her gentle soul.
Only a few days ago, his sister was voluble, full of life, and excited at the prospect of developing this newly gained friendship.
Everything was gone now —just as Georgiana said.
And Elizabeth’s expression the moment she observed him in the park —her pallor, the dark shadows around her eyes, her obvious turmoil the moment he took Georgiana away —did she know who Georgiana was?
Was it possible that she suspected the connection and purposely encouraged it?
Could he assume she was so unworthy of trust?
Elizabeth had little consideration and certainly no regard for him.
She had told him as much. Her apology when she was in need, her pleading and frequently expressed gratitude, meant nothing.
If not for her fear regarding her family, she would have treated him with the same disdain and mistrust as she did before.
He knew he could not rely on a single word from her.
What about Georgiana? What kind of interest could Elizabeth have in her if she indeed guessed her identity?
Surely, she must have known that he would never allow a close friendship between them.
Did she hope Georgiana could help with the elopement of Lydia?
No —that could not have been the case; Georgiana seemed attached to Miss Lizzy for almost two months while Wickham eloped less than a week ago.
Perhaps Elizabeth did not know who Georgiana was but guessed she must have been a rich heiress —perhaps an heiress of the countess —and hoped for better connections in town to help her and her sister find proper husbands? Yes —that must have been the case.
Perhaps she finally understood the opportunity she had lost by refusing him and feared that neither she nor Jane would ever marry.
Perhaps back in April, her hate and disdain for him forbade her to think of the consequences of her gesture, and the idea of marrying him was worse than the concern about remaining unmarried. How much she must have hated him…
He paced the room, filled his glass, sat in the chair, then rose again.
What if she had accepted him? What if, due to her concern for her family, she had agreed to be his wife?
How would his life have been —loving her with all his heart while she cringed every time he touched her, kissed her, or embraced her?
Shivers as cold as ice ran down his spine. Every thought of her, any speculation, only brought him more turmoil. Even worse, she somehow managed to torment Georgiana too. Every time she touched his life in any way, there was only pain. And it seemed it would never end.
He helped her family to overcome a most difficult situation because that was what his duty demanded from him.
He considered Wickham to be his responsibility, and he could not leave it on the unsteady shoulders of Mr. Bennet —who was nothing but an innocent victim.
He saved the situation and expected nothing in return.
But he should have done it without any interaction with her family —or at least with her.
Being in her company changed him completely; his manners, his character, his mind, and his heart always betrayed him when she was involved. He had no control over his rage and resentment. His mind was full of anger against her while his heart —his foolish heart —only felt tenderness.
He knew that only too well, and yet he was too weak to stay away. The best proof of this was his repeated visits to the Gardiners’ house although he could have avoided it. He only hoped for a glimpse of her.
He saved her sister —and in exchange, she hurt his.
Georgiana was always restrained, careful, and even fearful with strangers —just as he was.
How was it possible that, of all the women he ever met who had raised his interest, only Elizabeth made him completely lose his mind without even trying?
How was it possible that so many accomplished young women tried to befriend Georgiana without success while Elizabeth won her attachment so easily?
What kind of power did Elizabeth Bennet have over them?