Chapter 18 #2
“It is a room situated on the top floor, half as large as the ones I saved for you with only a small bed and one small window. We already have several other guests, and the colonel’s party took the last remaining chambers. We did not expect them so soon and…”
Darcy looked at Elizabeth; she was smiling with perfect calmness.
“Sir, any room will do for tonight,” she answered. “Please do not trouble yourself about that. As long as I have clean sheets and some water to refresh myself, I will certainly be fine.”
“Oh, but Lizzy can sleep with me,” Georgiana hurried to reply, excited at the mere idea.
The innkeeper panicked again.
“But, Miss Darcy, the bed in your room might not be large enough for two people.”
But Darcy interrupted.
“Mr. Nott, Miss Bennet will take my place, and I will settle in the one on the top floor. We do not need to speak about it further.”
His answer was so peremptory that no opposition was made. The ladies were each shown into their chambers —close to each other —while Darcy walked on with Mr. Nott.
He finally entered his room and looked around: it was clean and furnished with all the necessities but small indeed and rather dark because of the one small window. It was enough for one night, during which he knew too well that he probably would not sleep.
He threw his coat on the bed and removed his neckcloth then paced a few times.
The unexpected meeting with his cousin and old acquaintances should be pleasant, and he understood their good intentions in surprising him, but he felt rather irritated without knowing why. Perhaps he was just not fond of surprises.
The colonel came through the open door.
“I suspect you are not as pleased to see us as I had hoped.”
“I am always glad to see you, Richard. But you know I carefully plan my journeys to Pemberley when I travel with Georgiana, precisely to avoid the unexpected. Surprises are not my favourite thing. I do appreciate your effort to change your plans for me, and I am glad to spend a couple of hours with you. However, we shall not be deterred from our schedule. We must be home the day after tomorrow.”
“I understand that. And the truth is, we only left London one day earlier than we should have —mostly due to Emmeline’s insistence. You should at least pretend to be more pleased to see her.”
“I would rather not joke about that subject any more. As you know, Georgiana is uncomfortable with your jests. And we are not yet so familiar with Miss Bennet as to ignore propriety with such references.”
“I could wager that Miss Bennet can easily handle any kind of joke, but I do see your point about Georgiana.”
“I am sure Miss Bennet can handle a joke. My meaning is that she is with us as my sister’s guest, and it is my duty to make sure she is in the sort of circumstances her father would approve.”
“I cannot argue with that. So, would you tell me how it happens that Miss Bennet is in your company? I know you mentioned nothing of the kind when we last met in London.”
“Georgiana had a lovely time in Hertfordshire, and she enjoyed herself exceedingly in the company of the Bennets. I have never seen her so at ease as she was there. She felt as if she was part of the family; in truth, even Mrs. Bennet treated her the same as her daughters —with some improprieties, but there was genuine affection. As a consequence, Georgiana dreaded the idea of being alone again at Pemberley without any company her own age. Therefore, she invited Miss Bennet to join her, and she kindly accepted. I doubt she intended to leave her family so soon, but she understood Georgiana needed her company.”
“Very nice of her. Well, I am glad to see Miss Bennet again. I confess I have thought of her several times since we left Kent. I have rarely admired a young lady so much. If I were not forced to marry someone with a significant dowry, I would have thought of her more often.”
A grin rested on the colonel’s face, but Darcy remained serious.
“This is not a subject for jest. Besides, we both know that you often admire many young ladies —dowry or not.”
“True —but as I said, not as much as I admired Miss Bennet. I just admitted that.”
“Richard, you are at an age when you should be more earnest in narrowing your admiration towards a single lady and finding yourself a wife.”
“Do you not think it strange that you of all men give me such advice? Do not speak of finding wives unless you are prepared to debate the subject. It should be much easier for you since you have complete freedom to choose as you like. And yet, you seem uninterested in doing so.”
“There is another more important subject to consider,” Darcy said, avoiding the colonel’s discussion. “As Georgiana’s second guardian, you need to know that she confessed Wickham’s attempted elopement to Miss Bennet.”
Surprise darkened the colonel’s expression.
“That is extraordinary. I know how frightened she was at the notion of her secret’s being discovered. She seems to have great faith in her new friend.”
“Yes. And after I carefully observed Miss Bennet’s behaviour towards her, I believe Georgiana’s trust is well deserved.”
“That is comforting. I know how worried you are for her, and I was apprehensive that I could not help you more.”
“I hope things will improve now. I also invited Bingley and his wife to Pemberley for Christmas. I would not object if the other Miss Bennets joined them.”
“So —should I assume that your opinion of the Bennets has improved?”
“I believe I realised that the Bennets’ faults are neither more nor greater than any of ours. And since they showed Georgiana and me nothing but kindness, their less-than-perfect manners mean little.”
“Wise approach. So, will you come downstairs for dinner? We have an entire half of the dining room for our use.”
“Of course we will come, and we will be pleased to spend the evening together. But tomorrow we will have an early breakfast and depart immediately afterward.”
“Fair enough. We will see whether our party is as rigorous as yours so we can travel together. If not, we will each travel at our own time. So do tell me, is Bingley happy?”
A broad smile spread on Darcy’s face.
“Exceedingly, as you can easily imagine. I spent two nights listening to his worries about his worthiness and his struggles with how to make his wife the happiest woman in the entire country. I trust he will succeed.”
“Is the present Mrs. Bingley the woman from whom you tried to separate Bingley last year?” the colonel asked hesitantly. It was a delicate subject that had not been addressed between them since last winter.
The answer came equally tentative.
“Yes. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made, based on what I considered to be my honest and accurate evaluation. It almost cost Bingley the chance to marry a beautiful, kind, and caring woman whom he loves and who returns his affection.”
“Well, fortunately, it was corrected, so you should cease blaming yourself so much. At least you remedied some of your errors with your help of ten thousand pounds to the Bennets.”
“Richard! We shall never speak of that again.”
“As you wish. But coming to the present, may I say that Miss Bennet is just as charming as I remembered her? Perhaps less voluble, but that might be from fatigue.”
Darcy offered no reply, so the colonel continued.
“And I am quite confident that Mowbray is also smitten with Miss Bennet.”
“You talk nonsense now. Mowbray saw Miss Bennet for three minutes and exchanged a few words with her. Let us remain serious and not talk of Miss Bennet in a manner that would be equally improper and useless. I shall see you at dinner in an hour.”
The severity of his answer surprised even himself, and he did not miss the colonel’s puzzlement as he left the room. The mere mention of anyone’s admiring Elizabeth was a reason for affliction that he could scarcely overcome.
The colonel’s mockery continued to trouble Darcy more than he wished. He knew it to be silly, but it stirred his distress and destroyed his appetite. He knew his cousin had been attracted to Elizabeth from the day he met her, but he hoped that infatuation was gone.
The jealousy he felt at times in Kent was reborn, as well as his guilt for being selfish. It was not impossible that Elizabeth might be suited to Richard. Their manners were similar, and their easiness with each other was obvious.
There was no doubt that they enjoyed each other’s company. Did it mean something more to Elizabeth? Could she be happy with his cousin, the only barrier being his lack of financial stability?
What about Mowbray? He was equally easy mannered, amiable, and handsome, and his position and wealth gave him complete liberty in action and marriage.
Would Elizabeth be impressed by him? And could he already be interested in her?
It was not impossible, of course, as he remembered being enchanted with Elizabeth the moment he observed the sparkle in her eyes.
His breathing suddenly became unsteady. The thought of Elizabeth within his family —bonded to one of his relatives, so close to him yet lost forever —cut him inside like a knife.
He struggled to calm himself as his torment was ridiculous, based on an entirely impossible premise. He hoped and prayed it was impossible. But it was out of his control; he could only wait and see what fate had prepared for them.
∞∞∞
The first thing Elizabeth did was to remove her bonnet, gloves, and reticule and knock on Georgiana’s door. At the shy invitation, she entered and found her friend staring out the window. As their eyes met, the girl smiled.
“How are you, dearest? Are you well?” Elizabeth inquired.
“Yes, very well. I was just a little surprised by the surprise,” she attempted to joke.
“Yes, we all were. But they seem to be nice people. Lady Hardwick was pleased to see them.”
“I imagine she was. But both Lady Emmeline and Lord Mowbray make me…a little uneasy.”
Mist was searching the room curiously, and Elizabeth took him into her arms, petting him.
“Have you known them for long?”
“Since I was very young. Emmeline is…she was always kind to me…but I feel she is more interested in William than she is in me. Which is understandable of course…”
Elizabeth laughed and caressed her hair.
“You should not be too harsh. It is a tendency of many women to do anything to gain the attention of a young, desirable gentleman with a good fortune.”
“Yes, I know. I am glad you do not do the same, Lizzy.”
“Well, my dear, I might well do so if the right gentleman should appear, so do not be too hasty to praise me.”
Georgiana laughed. “I cannot believe that until I see it. Lizzy, how is it you always help me relax and turn my distress to amusement?”
“I believe it is a skill I gained living with three sisters who frequently argued and at least one of whom was always upset. Now, dearest, may I help you with anything before dinner?”
“No, I thank you. You were so kind to come and talk to me. We should wait for William. He will come to fetch us when it is time to go downstairs.”
“Very well,” Elizabeth replied and suddenly flushed without knowing why.
Once inside her room, Elizabeth lay across the bed for a moment, thinking of her conversation with Georgiana.
Yes, Lady Emmeline seemed quite interested in Darcy, and she did not attempt to conceal it.
She possessed a self-confidence that left others no choice but to obey her.
She took Darcy’s arm with a determination that admitted no objection.
Not that he would attempt to object. He did not appear pleased to see the newly arrived group, but he rarely showed his inner opinions.
And she could hardly claim any proficiency in guessing those feelings.
Elizabeth walked around her room restlessly, troubled by a strange feeling. She could not escape the thought that this was the room Darcy should have occupied —that he had occupied in the past. This was the bed where he used to sleep.
Those considerations made her cheeks burn and her skin quiver as with a chill.
She knew she was being ridiculous, and she felt ashamed of herself.
And yet, her eyes turned repeatedly towards the pillows.
There were four of them on a single bed.
Did he prefer more pillows to keep his head higher while he slept?
She had the same preference. How strange was that?
She refreshed her face then looked in the small mirror hanging on the wall.
Her hair needed some adjustment. Lady Emmeline and her sister looked impeccable, even after hours spent in a carriage.
Of course, that was laughable; why should she care about other people?
She should be careful with her own appearance —nothing more, nothing less.
After tightening her pins and arranging a few rebellious locks, she sat in a chair by the window, observing the room more closely.
Though Georgiana’s bed was not large enough for two persons to sleep comfortably, this one seemed to be. He always took the same room, the innkeeper said. Had he ever shared it?
“Oh, this is ridiculous!” she cried to herself.
She cooled her flushed face again with water, then opened the window widely, and looked outside.
It was already darkening; the sky seemed cloudy, and the wind had started to blow.
She wanted to take a stroll before dinner but resisted the temptation.
She was in a completely strange location, surrounded by people she did not know, so she had to refrain from any unwise gestures.