Chapter Twenty-One
‘It wasn’t supposed to happen the way it did.’ Amabel sat forward on the edge of the armchair, her gaze fixed on Florence as she spoke. ‘But I had to find a way to stop the marquess from proposing to me.’ Her eyes flicked guiltily towards Leo. ‘Apologies, my lord.’
‘You didn’t want to marry him?’ Florence’s hand was so tight on his arm, he thought she might be trying to constrict his blood flow.
‘No. I was in love with James. Desperately so, but my parents would never have agreed to the match while a marquess wanted to marry me.’
‘Didn’t it occur to you to simply tell me that?’ Leo interjected. ‘If I’d known your affections were engaged elsewhere, I would never have proposed.’
‘Honestly? No.’ Amabel looked awkward. ‘Forgive me for saying so, my lord, but you aren’t the easiest of men to talk to.’
‘Then why not simply refuse my proposal? Or compromise yourself with Major Vaughan?’
‘Because it wasn’t so easy. My parents must have suspected there was some affection between James and me because he wasn’t invited to the ball.
As for saying no, if they’d thought for even a moment that I was giving you up for him, they would have cast me off without a penny and we’d never have been able to marry. ’
‘So you arranged to meet me in the library and then sent Florence in your stead so we could be caught together?’
‘No!’ She jerked her head back. ‘You weren’t supposed to be caught, but it all went wrong.’
‘What did?’ Florence spoke softly, letting go of his arm finally. ‘Amabel, what really happened?’
‘The truth is, I told you everything that day. When we went for a walk in Hyde Park, I told you all about James and how I was afraid that my parents had other plans for that night. I said that I didn’t know what to do and then…
well, we agreed that you would talk to the marquess for me.
You know, explain the situation and ask him… politely…not to propose to me.’
Florence’s shoulders went rigid. ‘You mean, I volunteered?’
‘Not exactly.’ Amabel squirmed in her seat. ‘I asked you if you would mind saying something, and you agreed…eventually.’
‘Eventually?’
‘I was too frightened to do it myself!’ she burst out.
‘I knew I’d babble and say the wrong thing and just make everything worse, whereas you’re so practical and resourceful, you were bound to do it right.
It seemed like such a good plan. So I arranged the meeting in the library and then gave you a signal. ’
‘That’s why you seemed nervous.’ Leo twisted towards Florence, remembering the strange way she’d behaved that evening. ‘You weren’t stalling for time. There was a message. You were just trying to decide how best to tell me.’
‘There was hardly time for her to tell you anything.’ Amabel sounded exasperated.
‘My father decided to show the Malverns his first edition of Fielding, and then more people joined in, and I didn’t know how to stop them.
I followed them all to the library, thinking that perhaps I could cause a distraction, but it was too late.
They walked straight in and found you.’ She heaved a deep breath.
‘Even then, I thought it would only be a minor scandal. I thought that my parents would just give Florence a scolding and send her home.’ She gestured around the room.
‘I never imagined it would lead to all this.’
‘Let me get this straight.’ Leo sat forward. ‘You thought that half a dozen members of the ton could find us alone together and it could all be brushed aside and forgotten?’
‘Yes.’ Amabel lowered her head again. ‘I know it sounds foolish now, but I wasn’t thinking clearly.’
‘I even asked you about the message. I asked you and you denied any knowledge of it.’
‘I panicked.’ She peeked back up at Florence.
‘I know it was awful of me not to defend you, but if I’d told the truth my parents would have been furious with me.
And what good would it have done when you were already compromised?
Whereas keeping quiet…’ She swallowed visibly.
‘It was the only way I could be with James. And it worked. My parents agreed to our marriage just a week after your wedding.’
‘In other words, you traded Florence’s future for your own?’ Leo narrowed his eyes.
‘Not intentionally.’ Amabel looked pained.
‘And I thought that maybe you could find a way out of it, but everything just happened so fast.’ She stretched a hand out to Florence.
‘And you forgave me. When you were locked in your room, I bribed one of the maids to let me in, and you said you understood and forgave me.’
‘So you knew the truth on our wedding day?’ Leo turned towards Florence, his heart twisting.
She hadn’t spoken for a few minutes now, staring straight ahead with an oddly detached expression, a stillness about her he’d never seen before.
She hadn’t even seemed to notice Amabel’s outstretched hand.
‘You told me it was a misunderstanding, that the circumstances weren’t what they seemed, but you wouldn’t explain.
Why didn’t you just tell me? Why take the blame? ’
‘Because she was protecting me,’ Amabel answered.
‘I knew that if she’d said anything at that point, you might have been angry enough to tell my parents, so I begged her to stay quiet.
But it wasn’t going to be forever. Once James and I were married and the announcement was published, we agreed she could tell you everything. ’
‘Only she hit her head and forgot it all first.’ He glowered.
‘The love letters…’ Florence murmured suddenly. ‘They’re yours, aren’t they?’
‘Love letters?’ He gave a start. ‘What love letters?’
‘Mine.’ Amabel turned to gaze lovingly at her husband. ‘The most beautiful words you’ve ever read. I gave them to Florence for safekeeping on the day of the ball in case Mama searched my room. I thought I’d be able to reclaim them later.’
‘But I found them.’ Florence’s voice sounded distant, as if she were speaking from a long way away.
‘I came across them a couple of days after I woke from my accident. I had no idea who they were from, but I thought I must have been corresponding with another man.’ She pressed a hand to her forehead.
‘I felt so guilty about it. I thought that I was a wicked person.’
‘You thought you were corresponding with another man?’ Leo felt an ache in his chest at the idea. ‘Why didn’t you mention it?’
‘Because it seemed like you already hated me enough.’ She grimaced, though she didn’t look at him. ‘Besides, I didn’t know the truth. I didn’t see how it was possible, but… I couldn’t be sure of anything.’
‘You’re not wicked.’ Amabel came to crouch on the floor in front of her. ‘You’re the best, most loyal friend a person could ever ask for.’
‘Or the stupidest.’ Florence rose slowly to her feet. ‘You used me.’
‘No! That is…yes, but I never meant to. I was desperate.’
‘You used me,’ Florence repeated. ‘You let me take the blame for something you arranged and then you swore me to secrecy about it. You let me be condemned and insulted, not just by other people, but by myself too. This whole time I’ve been so worried about how much you must hate me and now it turns out I was innocent all along. ’
‘But that’s why I came back!’ Amabel jumped up too. ‘Once I received Mama’s letter, I knew I had no choice. I wanted to put things right.’
‘How good of you.’
‘My lady,’ Major Vaughan spoke this time, standing up as Florence walked away, ‘I know it sounds bad, but I assure you, Amabel has been distraught over the whole situation. And this is as much my fault as it is hers. When she told me what had happened at the ball, I knew we should step forward and tell the truth, but I was too much in love and this was the only way for us to be together.’ His gaze softened. ‘Anything we did, we did for love.’
‘So the ends justify the means?’ Florence stopped by the door, her voice distant again.
There was a brief pause before he shook his head. ‘No, but I’m grateful none the less.’
‘I’m so sorry, Florence.’ Tears were rolling steadily down Amabel’s cheeks now, turning her beautiful face blotchy. ‘I’m truly sorry.’
‘I know, but I need to be alone for a while.’ Florence turned away. ‘I’m going to my room. Please don’t follow me.’
Leo clenched his jaw as she closed the door behind her. He had a strong suspicion those last words had been aimed at him. It also occurred to him that for the past ten minutes his wife hadn’t so much as glanced in his direction. Worst of all, his gut was telling him that he deserved it.
Florence kicked her heels against her horse’s flanks, pelting headlong across the lawns on the eastern side of the house towards the woodland that divided the estate and the village.
She’d walked out of the drawing room with every intention of going upstairs to her room, only once she’d stepped into the hallway, her feet had taken her in a different direction entirely, through a door at the back of the house and on to the stables.
Aside from a few boys playing football in the courtyard, the whole place had been deserted, allowing her to saddle a horse on her own and then ride out with no idea where she was going until she was halfway there and then…
then it seemed so obvious… Of course she knew where she was going. She was going back.
Because she’d remembered.
Her whole body had gone completely numb while Amabel had been talking, as if she’d been armouring herself against the words.
She hadn’t wanted them to be true, even though they’d made sense.
A horrible, shocking, hurtful kind of sense, in which her best, closest and oldest friend had persuaded her to do her dirty work for her, and then, when things had gone wrong, walked away.
No wonder she’d lost her memory. She’d probably wanted to forget.
She’d been used, abandoned and then married off to a man who’d blamed her for all of it!