Chapter 19
Isolde paced around her room, reliving her conversation with Lady Bradshaw again and again. The woman’s words were burned into her mind. How could you possibly imagine he would want such a meek and mild little thing like you, when he could have a proper woman ...?
The rudeness of the words appalled her, but under that was a sharper sting, a whisper that Lady Bradshaw was right, and Thaddeus would never want her.
The more she paced, however, the more her anger burned itself out, until she was exhausted and felt like crying.
She sat down on the bed and pulled her knees up to rest her chin on them, thinking of how poorly Thaddeus had looked in her brief glimpse of him, and how pained his voice had sounded.
All the worry she had felt when she first heard the news came rushing back to her, and she felt again that she should be there with him, beside him.
He needs me, a voice inside her whispered, and she tried to tell herself it wasn’t true, but it felt so real. What should she do? How could she find out the truth if she couldn’t see Thaddeus?
She must see him, there was no other way. She needed to know he was all right, and she needed to know how he felt about her, about them.
And yet, speaking to him seemed impossible with Vivienne always lurking near him like a guard dog.
Now that the woman had revealed her true colors, Isolde felt certain her tactics would become even sneakier and more vicious. All the more reason to speak to Thaddeus herself – but how could she manage that?
She bit her lip and tried to think through the problem, hoping that some solution she just hadn’t thought of yet would present itself.
Yet hard as she thought, nothing came to her. She was about to give up and let herself dissolve into the tears that had been threatening for hours when there was a knock on the door.
“Isolde? It’s Thomas.”
Isolde jumped up from the bed, checking to make sure she didn’t look too distressed. She was thankful she hadn’t started to cry yet, as that would have surely upset Thomas. She hurried to the door and opened it for her brother.
Thomas looked nearly as stressed as she felt as he came in and gestured for her to shut the door behind him.
“What is it, Thomas?” she asked, ushering him to sit down.
“I’ve just been speaking with Lord Hartington,” he replied.
Isolde’s heart flip-flopped.
“You saw him? How is he? Will he be all right?”
Thomas gave her a curious look.
“Did you not see him yourself?”
Isolde winced, remembering how she’d fled from the hunting lodge.
“Only briefly. It was … difficult to find a moment. But I’m glad you did. Tell me how he is.”
“He’s …” Her brother hesitated. “Well, he fainted again –”
Isolde gasped and jumped up from her chair, ready to run to Thaddeus immediately.
“No, calm down, it’s all right,” Thomas said, grabbing her arm and gently pulling her back into her chair. “The doctor checked him again, he’ll be fine. He just got a bit overexcited.”
Isolde frowned.
“Overexcited? Why?”
Again, Thomas looked at Isolde curiously.
“He was rather insistent that he come to speak to you.”
“Me?” Isolde blinked, stunned. Could he really have wanted to see me?
“Yes,” Thomas replied. “He wanted to speak to you about … your situation. We had a very interesting discussion, and I … Well, I don’t wish to betray his confidence when he was so insistent that he speak to you himself.
But I feel we don’t have much time, and I think it is rather obvious to anyone who is paying attention.
Isolde, he practically admitted he is in love with you. ”
Her heart fluttered fiercely in her chest even as she struggled to fully comprehend Thomas’s words.
“In love? With me?”
“Yes, Isolde. And I’m sorry to ask it of you, but if you think that you could in any way be happy with him, I beg you to accept his feelings. Do you not think that you could?”
Isolde blinked at her brother, too overwhelmed to speak, and Thomas continued.
“It’s just that I’m so worried about Cornelia.
Crowley and Father are so chummy. You haven’t seen it, but I have.
If they haven’t settled on a price for Cornelia’s hand, they will soon.
I don’t know all that’s gone on between you and the marquess, but if there’s any way at all that the two of you can fix things, if you could see your way to accepting him as a husband – if it’s possible, Isolde, you must do it, please.
I fear you’re our only hope to help Cornelia before it’s too late. ”
The desperation in Thomas’s voice struck Isolde deeply. She felt a flush of shame. For most of the day, she’d been consumed by her own affairs and had kept forgetting how her sister was in an even more dire predicament than her own. Thomas was right, that was their priority.
Yet how could she trust that what Thaddeus had said to Thomas was the truth? She herself could barely get Thaddeus to speak to her about his feelings, or anything else for that matter. Why would he have been so honest with Thomas, whom he knew even less?
She looked at Thomas’s pleading face and took his hand.
“Don’t worry,” she said, squeezing his hand. “Whatever happens between Lord Hartington and me, I will find a way to stop this marriage with Crowley from going forward. If what you say is true, then of course, I will do my best to salvage my relationship with Lord Hartington.”
Thomas slumped back in the chair, relieved.
“I know you can do it, Izzy,” he said, giving her a weak smile. “If anyone can, you can.”
Because Thomas had been so distraught, she had one of the maids bring him water and then sat with him as he calmed down.
Long after he left, she sat alone, thinking over what he had said.
She let herself dream for a moment that what Thaddeus had told Thomas was true.
That he had feelings for her and wanted their relationship to deepen.
A warm glow spread through her body, and her heart felt light and happy. She could no longer deny that this was exactly what she’d been longing for.
But at the same time, that light, bubbly feeling made her scared. The fact that Thaddeus confessing his feelings for her could have such a drastic effect on her mood revealed the depths to which she had fallen for him.
It was becoming harder and harder to deny, and she could not help thinking what that would mean if Thomas were wrong. If Thaddeus didn’t care for her, and yet she acted on the belief that he did, there was only heartbreak in her future.
And if she based her plan to save Cornelia on Thaddeus’s supposed affections for her, then the plan would fall apart if those affections proved not to exist.
Isolde felt a scream of frustration rising in her throat, and she stifled it. Neither rage nor tears would do her any good.
Only action could help her now. Once again, she was left thinking that she must speak with Thaddeus, preferably alone. Only when she was sure of his feelings could she know what to do next.
***
Isolde was hopeful as she went down to dinner. Around mid-afternoon, Thaddeus had been brought back to the main house, the doctor having apparently decided it was best to get him back to his own bed, where he could stay as long as needed.
She was hoping that as the guests mingled after dinner, she might be able to slip away and speak to him. Having a plan made her feel better.
Unfortunately, she had barely made it out of her room when the last person she wanted to see appeared in the hallway ahead of her.
“Miss Fairchild,” Lord Crowley purred, grinning at her. “How wonderful to run into you! I was just thinking to myself that we really ought to spend more time together while I’m here. A man ought to get to know his future family, after all.”
Isolde’s heart sank like a stone, but she kept her head high and stepped past Crowley into the hallway.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she said coldly, “but I have no intention of spending any more time with you than I must.”
“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Crowley said from behind her, and she paused, the smug tone in his voice making her go cold.
“I’m to wed your sister. It’s not official yet, but your father and I have worked out all the details.
He was quite anxious to get the deal done.
Seems my inheritance will be very helpful with his gambling debts. ”
Isolde turned slowly and stared Crowley down.
“No,” she said, and the firmness of her own voice surprised her. “I don’t care what you or my father says. She will never marry you.”
Crowley did not seem worried by her words or tone of voice. He shrugged.
“I fear you might be mistaken, my dear. Of course,” he took a step closer to her, leering, “if the idea is so objectionable to you, I’m sure I could be persuaded to marry someone else.”
Isolde’s hopes lifted. Was it possible Crowley was really offering to change his mind?
“After all, it was meant to be us,” the man continued. “And I could still be convinced to marry you, if you’d rather you be my bride, instead of your sister.”
Isolde recoiled, hopes dashed. She felt foolish for having believed even for a second that Crowley might change.
“I’m not sure how it could have escaped your notice, Lord Crowley,” she said, “given your humiliation was the impetus for my engagement, but I am actually spoken for.”
Crowley’s face flushed, but after a moment, he laughed darkly.
“Don’t tell me you’re actually wasting your time thinking this thing with Hartington will work out?
My dear girl, everyone can see that he and Lady Bradshaw are much more suited to one another.
Come, be a sensible girl and make the match with me while I’m still offering.
Or don’t.” He smiled wickedly. “Like I said, the deal for your sister’s hand is as good as done. ”
Isolde felt her anger building, but she knew the smart choice was to end this conversation. Crowley was a liar and a cad, and no good ever came from speaking with him.
“Excuse me,” she said stiffly. “I must go down, or I shall be late for dinner.”