Chapter 27
Annora and Cornelia had joined Isolde in her room. Isolde was comforting Cornelia, and Annora was doing her best to comfort them both. Cornelia had been with Isolde and their father when he died, so Isolde had not yet had a moment alone to process her grief.
She was focusing on Cornelia, because so long as she did that, she felt relatively sure she would not break down into tears.
There was a knock on the door, and Annora went to answer it. She asked who it was, and Isolde’s attention was caught by Thaddeus’s voice. Annora looked back at Isolde, her eyes asking a silent question, and Isolde nodded for her to let him in.
“My greatest condolences to you, Miss Fairchild, and you as well, Miss Cornelia.” For a moment, Thaddeus seemed to focus on Cornelia.
“I met your brother in the hallway and already told him this, but I shall tell you as well – should either of you need anything during this time, please ask. I shall do everything in my power to get it for you.”
“Thank you, Lord Hartington,” Cornelia said, before she looked away, eyes filling anew with tears. Thaddeus turned his eyes to Isolde.
“Miss Fairchild, would it be possible to speak with you alone for just one moment?” Isolde looked up into his eyes and felt herself start to crumble. She longed to ask him to hold her again, but she could not. Speaking with him alone felt dangerous.
She glanced at Cornelia. Surely he could not object if she said that she couldn’t leave her sister at the moment. That was true and felt like the safest choice.
“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with her,” Annora said gently, taking away her only excuse.
Isolde nodded and stood.
“We can speak in the hallway,” she said to Thaddeus, and he nodded, following her out. She tried not to think about the hallway conversation they’d had earlier. It had only been a few hours, yet it felt a lifetime ago.
“I am so sorry, Miss Fairchild,” he said as soon as they were alone. “I wish I could have saved you from this pain.”
Isolde didn’t know what to say to that, so she just whispered, “Thank you.” And then they stood, the silence between them growing deafening. Finally, he broke it.
“Is there anything you need, or want? Anything at all? Just say the word, and you shall have it.” He looked very sincere, his warm brown eyes focusing on her. He seemed desperate to do something to help, and she wished she had something to ask him that he could give her.
Then she realized there was something, but she wasn’t sure if she dared ask it. She looked up into his face and decided to chance it.
“I think there’s only one thing I need, Lord Hartington,” she said.
“I need time, to grieve my father, to think through things. To help my family sort out what our lives will be now.” She took a deep breath.
“I know that I agreed to come here, that we had a plan, but I cannot think of any of that right now. You, and marriage, and finding a love match –”
“I understand,” he cut in, his voice soft and gentle.
“I need to go home,” she whispered. He clenched his jaw, and something in his eyes made her think he was going to refuse. But then it was gone, and he simply nodded.
“I understand,” he said again. Then he reached out and very carefully took one of her hands. “I meant what I said to your sister. If there is anything at all that you, any of you, should need during this time, please ask for my assistance. I shall get it for you, whatever it takes.”
He said it like a plea, like he was begging her to allow him to be of help. He let go of her hand and stepped back.
“I shall see that you are packed at once, and able to return home with your siblings as soon as all of you are ready – though, of course, you may stay here as long as you need. As for our future … I will wait for you to speak of it to me. Until then, I will be here. When you’re ready, send for me, and I will come. ”
“Thank you,” she said. The relief of knowing she would go home – that she would spend the next night in her own bed, and wake to have breakfast with only her family – mingled with the knowledge that her father would not be there with them. He would never be there with them again.
She fought back her tears, afraid that if she cried, then he would hold her again. Afraid that if he held her, then she would never stop crying.
“I must return to my sister,” she said. “Thank you, truly.”
“Of course,” he said, giving her a slight bow before turning to head back down the hallway. She put her hand on the doorknob, pausing to be sure her tears were in check before she went back inside.
“Isolde,” Thaddeus said suddenly. The sound of him saying her name cut through the haze of her grief like a shaft of light, like his voice had opened a shutter and shown her there was sunshine outside, waiting for her when she was ready. She turned toward him, feeling an odd thrill of hope.
He had stopped in the middle of the hallway and was simply staring at her. He looked a bit taken aback as if surprised by his own boldness.
“Yes?” she asked and heard a tremble in her voice.
At the sound of her voice, something changed in his expression, and for one wild moment, Isolde was sure he was going to confess his love. It seemed written in every line on his face.
Then the moment passed, and that expression seemed to disappear.
“Good night,” he finally said.
“Good night, Lord Hartington,” she replied, stifling a strange impulse to speak as he had, casually – to use his name. And long after he bowed and left the corridor, she stared after him. The thrill of hope his voice had given her did not go with him but lingered like a promise.
It was only afterward, when she was back in the room with Annora and Cornelia, that she realized he had said “our future”.
As though whatever the future held, he expected them to meet it together.
She told herself it was just one small word, and it did not mean anything, and that she should not try to think about this while so much else was happening.
And yet, when Cornelia was finally calm, and they had all laid down to get some much-needed sleep, she found herself thinking of him. She could not help whispering to herself before she drifted off into her dreams, “Good night, Thaddeus.”