Chapter 29
The day of her father's funeral was gray and drizzly, and Isolde couldn't decide if the weather felt appropriately somber, or if she wished the sun would come out. Everything for the past week had felt this way – a little gray, a little cold, a little empty.
Still, even as she dreaded the finality of putting her father to rest, she also couldn't help looking with relief toward the next day. When it would all be over, and finally she, Thomas, and Cornelia could start to pick up the pieces of their lives and move forward.
It had been a week since she'd seen or heard from Thaddeus. He had kept his word and given her space. She was grateful to him, for both giving her what she'd asked for and understanding why she'd asked.
And yet, she couldn't help wishing he could have been there beside her, helping her to deal with everything.
A foolish thought, she chided herself. But she couldn't help longing for it anyway.
The service was mercifully brief and only the family attended – herself, Thomas, Cornelia, and Annora. Annora's mother was her mother's sister, so technically Annora had no relation to their father, but she had come anyway to support them.
As to her father's friends, all the men he had gone out drinking, gambling, and carousing with, none of them attended. Isolde was not surprised.
Likely he'd borrowed money from most of them, and besides, that sort of shallow relationship was not the kind where those involved truly cared for one another.
The sun came out as they made their way to the freshly dug grave, and as the pastor read the eulogy, Isolde closed her eyes, feeling its warmth on her skin.
Then it abruptly disappeared, like it had gone behind a cloud, and she frowned, but before she could open her eyes, she felt a presence at her side. A warm hand slipped into hers, and she turned, opening her eyes to stare up at Thaddeus as he stood beside her.
The warmth spread through her whole body. He gave her a very gentle smile and squeezed her hand, and she could not help leaning against his shoulder.
Suddenly feeling safe, she began to cry. The tears slid silently down her face, and she felt him shift, replacing the hand in hers with his other so he could put his arm around her and draw her close.
They lowered the casket into the grave, and she finally stopped crying, wiping away her tears with the handkerchief Thaddeus silently handed to her.
As the others moved away from the grave, she hung back. They all looked at her questioningly, and she squeezed Thaddeus's hand before letting go.
“I just need a moment alone. To say goodbye.”
Thaddeus nodded and withdrew. Thomas and Annora did the same, walking away arm in arm, leaning on each other. Cornelia came back to give Isolde a quick hug, and then she followed them.
Isolde stepped up to the grave and took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Father. For all the times these past many years that I hated you. I hope you can forgive me. And I hope I can forgive you, too, for everything you did to us. For all the things you sacrificed to your greed and your grief over Mother. For the chaos you’ve truly made of our lives.”
Isolde stopped, thinking of how there was still so much to do, to rectify, before they would truly be able to breathe freely.
“I always thought you might come back to us, be a father again, and straighten everything out. Instead you’ve just gone and left us with this mess. What should we do now?”
The question hung in the air, and then Isolde felt the sudden urge to laugh. What was she thinking? Her father had never given her any helpful advice while he was alive. He certainly wasn’t going to start now.
She sucked in a deep breath and then let it out.
“Goodbye, Father.”
She turned to walk back to the church and was surprised to see Thaddeus waiting about halfway along the path. As she got close, he offered her his arm.
“I told the others I’d wait for you. I hope you don’t mind.”
She shook her head as she took his arm.
“I’m glad you did.”
“I know I said I would give you time to think. I apologize for breaking that promise today, but I hope you’ll forgive me. I couldn’t bear leaving you to face this alone.”
“I wasn’t alone; I had my family.” But Isolde thought of how cold and empty the past week had been, and added, “But I’m pleased you came. I did need time, but I was glad to have you here today. It was a kind gesture to attend; one you did not have to do.”
“I think I did.” He stopped and looked down at her. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, Miss Fairchild. I know it may be in poor taste to speak of such things today, but I must say this much. I regret the deal regarding our engagement immensely. It was a mistake.”
Isolde’s heart dropped, and she suddenly felt cold. This was what he had come here to say? That he regretted becoming engaged to her? That it had been a mistake to intervene that night?
She felt faint and clung to his arm, even as she knew she should let go. He didn’t want her. She floundered for a moment but finally found her voice.
“Yes, I suppose it is poor taste, to speak of that horrible card game and my father’s worst decision only steps from where we laid him to rest.”
He stared at her in shock, and she was a little shocked herself at her boldness, but she did not take back the words.
“Miss Fairchild …” he said, sounding stunned. Then he seemed to get ahold of himself. “Miss Fairchild, you misunderstood completely! I did not mean the card bet. I meant our deal, the one we made where you were to find another suitor, and I would release you from our engagement.”
Now it was Isolde’s turn to stare. Her heart was racing.
Does he mean what I think he means?
Thaddeus kept speaking, as if now that he had started he could not stop.
“I can’t bear the thought of you marrying anyone else.
I get so jealous thinking of you with another man that I feel I might choke on it.
That night when you came to my room, I was going to tell you all this when you returned, but you never did.
I waited and waited for you to come to me.
And we kept trying to meet, but we could not, it was as if –”
“As if there was always something in the way,” Isolde finished for him. “As if something was doing its best to keep us apart.”
“Or someone,” he replied, and his grim tone of voice made her wonder what exactly had gone on between him and Cassian since they’d last spoken.
Cornelia had heard from Tatiana, who had come to call on her earlier in the week to offer her condolences, that Lord Cassian and Lady Bradshaw had left Hartington quite quickly, and Thaddeus hadn’t said a word about it.
“Yes,” she agreed. “It was as though every time I came to see you Lady Bradshaw was there. And Lord Cassian told me how you had known her in childhood, how you cared for her then ...”
Thaddeus stared at her, mouth open.
“I did not,” he said emphatically. “She is a casual acquaintance – or rather, she was but is no longer. I shall not see her again. There was never anything between us, not then and not now. Though it was certainly to her advantage that you think so, and I’m afraid she has abused both of us with her schemes and deceit.
And Lord Cassian helped her, through some family loyalty, I suppose, or perhaps because he thought to have a claim on my wealth through her. ”
Thaddeus reached down and took her hands in his.
“I am sorry that I did not uncover their scheme earlier,” he said, voice soft again.
“I wanted desperately to see you,” Isolde said, unable to keep her feelings to herself a moment longer.
Thaddeus blinked at her, surprise etched on his face, and she worried that she had misread his feelings, but she found she had to keep going. If she were to be rejected, she at least wanted him to know how she felt.
“I care so much for you, Thaddeus. I wanted to be there with you while you were recovering, to comfort you. I want to be with you now. And I understand why you took the bet. You wanted to save me from a terrible fate. I thank you for that, and if you do not care for me the way I care for you, I shall accept that. If you wish to break our engagement, you may. I only ask that you leave me some way to repay you, for everything you’ve done.
For saving me from marrying Crowley. For offering me my freedom. For coming here today.”
She stopped, heart pounding so hard she thought she might swoon.
Thaddeus was quiet for a long moment before he suddenly took her hand and dropped to one knee.
“I adore you, Miss Fairchild. And if you care for me in turn, then I am the luckiest man in the world. And the only repayment I shall accept is your hand in marriage.”
Stunned, Isolde stared down at him.
“Do you mean it?” she whispered. He nodded, the hand holding hers clasping it tightly.
“Will you?”
Isolde gasped, realizing she’d been holding her breath, and smiled at him.
“Yes. Yes, with all my heart.”
In one swift motion, Thaddeus stood, pulled her into his arms, and captured her mouth for a kiss. His lips against hers made her feel dizzy, and she melted into his embrace. She felt so safe, warm, and happy.
She didn’t think she had ever felt so happy. She suddenly remembered her daydream of welcoming Thaddeus home with a kiss and realized it may well come true. Delight bubbled up in her chest, and she couldn’t help giggling even as he kissed her.
Thaddeus gently broke the kiss and peered down at her.
“Sorry,” she said, and grinned because she didn’t feel sorry at all.
“If my kisses are amusing to you, then I suppose I shall have to try harder,” he said, and there was a gleam in his eyes that made her knees go weak.
“Isolde? Lord Hartington?” Thomas’s voice broke the hazy bubble the kiss had wrapped them in, and they jumped away from each other just as Thomas came around the corner of the church.
“I just came to see that nothing was amiss,” he said, looking between them with curious eyes. “Annora and Cornelia are settled in the carriage and only awaiting you to return home, Isolde.”
Isolde smiled at her brother.
“Nothing is amiss, Thomas. In fact –”
She felt Thaddeus’s hand at her elbow and stopped, giving him a questioning look.
“Perhaps we ought not say anything,” he murmured. “You are in mourning, after all.”
But Isolde shook her head. “I shall endeavor to forgive my father, but I shall not allow him to cast one more shadow upon our lives. We have had enough grief and strife. Let’s tell everyone. I want to shout it from the rooftops.”
She turned to Thomas.
“Thomas, Lord Hartington and I are engaged to be married. And not because of the bet. He has asked me properly, and I have accepted.”
Thomas stared at her, his eyes round in surprise, then slowly a grin spread across his face, lighting it up.
“Well,” he said, “You had better hurry and tell Cornelia. She’ll be cross if she finds out you told me first.”
Isolde ran to hug him, and then she turned to hold her hand out to her fiancé, so they could break the happy news together.