18. EIGHTEEN
EIGHTEEN
Mina
Agentle breeze tickles my bare legs. I pull them under my new burnt-orange blanket and drag it over my head to block out the bright sun. I snuggle deeper into the plush mattress, dreading the moment I have to start my day.
I can’t stop the nightmares, but recreating a little piece of home helps ground me once I wake up. My grief settles into a dull ache as I peel open my eyes to welcome colors.
A variety of warm hues now accent the spacious room.
The only blue that remains is the light drapes wafting in the breeze.
The night was warm enough to keep the balcony doors open, and I like to imagine the fresh air comes in from the south, carried and cooled far and long until it travels from Kalisham to me.
So far, yet home feels so close that I can reach out and take it. After today I’ll be one step closer.
Nerves stir my stomach like a sandstorm.
I will marry today.
The notion is so bizarre, I more than once considered this all a bad dream. That I will wake tomorrow, head aching and eyes watering from too much drink at Fareena’s coronation. Father will laugh at my absurd dream over our usual breakfast together. Life will be back to normal.
But today is no dream. There is no escaping the responsibilities I carry now.
I will face the aisle of jasmine petals alone, met only by the weight of my family’s spirits.
I rub the sore spot in my chest, allowing myself a few moments for tears. Each one falls for my family, my people, and the life I lost. I mourn for the naive girl who hid in a maze with her bow, blissfully unaware of the weight and sorrow she would come to bear.
There is no hiding this time. Not when the queen to be crowned is me.
As if summoning the responsibilities of my title, a firm knock breaks the silence. I bury my face in the blanket to wipe away my tears. “Come in.”
“Good morning, Princess Mina!” Lady Hunter bounces in, followed by Jaime with a cart of silver trays.
The assortment replaces the scent of fresh mountain air with salt and butter. My stomach growls as the internal sandstorm dissipates into hunger. One mustn’t go into battle without fueling up.
“Good morning, Lady Hunter. Would you care to join me?” I gesture to the feast Jaime parks near the table on the balcony.
“Oh, no, thank you. The others and I ate hours ago. We’ve been finalizing everything for the big day.” She beams.
Whatever walls Lady Hunter had up when we first met are long gone now, though I still haven’t gotten her to drop my title. Despite our friendly conversations, I can sense her holding something back.
If I can get Darius’s spy to admit her position and spy for me instead, it’ll be a friendship worth forging.
“Anything I can help with?” I ask, popping a buttery pastry into my mouth.
Lady Hunter’s response fades into the background as cinnamon and orange dance across my tongue, transporting me across land and sea. The taste summons fresh tears, but I blink them back.
I scan the other items on the table. They are all imitations of food from my homeland…
I sample another dish—fluffy eggs with herbs and spices mixed in; a spread of sweet jams and olives with rough flatbread; and black tea with honey.
Each carefully laid out on a silver plate.
The taste isn’t perfect, but close enough to send me sinking shakily into my seat.
“Are you alright?” Lady Hunter asks, rushing to my side.
“Wonderful,” I reply, a little breathless.
He could have sent more of that saccharine drink to distract me, but somehow he knew I needed the opposite. A piece of home to give me courage. Despite Darius’s prickly exterior, he seems to be in tune with my grief enough to predict my needs. The thought is strangely comforting.
“I am excited to bathe and get the day underway. Would you mind?”
Lady Hunter curtsies, and I worry the force of her excitement might break something. “Of course. Enjoy your meal.” She disappears behind the adjoining doors with a spring-loaded step.
Jaime produces a letter—cream paper sealed with black wax.
“The emperor instructed this be delivered along with hobanu.” I grin at her use of the word breakfast in my native language. She is a remarkably quick study, and her offer to learn means so much.
“Please.” I gesture to the food. “Help me eat some of this or I won’t fit in my dress today.”
Jaime laughs and grabs a few items, chewing them slowly as she watches the sunrise over the palace wall. She has a keen sense of when I want to be alone with my thoughts. Gratitude warms my heart.
My guilt toward building relationships here lessens each day. I can’t push people away and expect them to trust me enough to lead. Besides, they really are wonderful women. Even Elena and her controlling temperament.
At the end of the day, nothing can replace my family, but these new friendships are a salve for the cracks in my heart. Momentary bandages until I return home and finish my mission.
I fill my mouth with almost-flavors of home and rip open the letter. I trace the careful script. Not a drop of ink shows hesitation; it is neat and precise, much like the letter’s owner.
Princess Mina,
The recipes of your country seem to be as guarded as its borders. I sent my archivists to every corner of Veloria, but they only managed to find a handful of possible dishes. Hopefully, they bring you some comfort today.
We haven’t seen each other since the night at the arena. The one where he almost kissed me, and I almost let him. How did we go from a decent effort to kill one another to that?
One moment my blade was at his throat and the next his desire was pressed into me, clouding my brain with lust. My only thoughts were about how badly I wanted a taste, wanted to explore each corded muscle up close.
I’ve taken care of myself several times since then, yet the mere memory sends a fresh wave of heat between my thighs.
Being alone with Darius is dangerous in ways I wasn’t expecting. I’m grateful our schedules kept us apart, so I could keep a clear head.
We used stand-ins for one another during the rehearsals.
The ceremony a play that needed perfecting before the curtain goes up this afternoon.
Who knew they were so particular about walking down an aisle.
The only part we didn’t rehearse is the kiss to seal the union.
A practice, I am told, that is nonnegotiable if people are to see us as truly united.
The time apart offered me the opportunity to interact with Staefan more, at least. Darius’s right-hand man is competent and hardworking, clear and patient while explaining everything. I sense that behind his studious demeanor, he might be a softie. Kind even.
But he would also slit my throat without hesitation if I became a threat to his friend. I enjoy his company quite a bit.
Who is the Darius behind the bloody mask? His small acts of kindness send a fresh wave of nerves through me, but these are gentler. A butterfly’s wings compared to the raging winds before.
Today is to appease the empire and my floundering council. Tomorrow and every day after, we appease our desires.
He means our goals—my revenge and his ambition. The things I should be focusing on to get through the day. Yet my mind wanders to other desires. Ones that plague my dreams as often as the nightmares of home.
His deep voice offering to fulfill any husbandly duties plays on a loop in my head. It’s an offer I will not be accepting—if only my body agreed to the notion.
I’ll see you on the battle front at three.
Emperor Darius
I laugh at his word choice. The palpable excitement and gushing crowds do indeed feel like a battle. I eye where I hid my dagger in a loose stone along the outer wall. I expected Darius to confiscate it after our fight, but so far, no one has come to collect it.
I will be without weapons today, but Darius will be adorned in a ceremonial sword, no doubt as sharp as his usual blade. He seems incapable of being without one, which I find equal parts useful and unnerving.
My personal battle is helping to keep his sword sheathed throughout the festivities.
I’ve seen enough bloodshed at celebrations.
Wine and tongues don’t always mix, and marrying a foreigner isn’t the most popular choice.
If someone should get too bold, I’ll need to keep Darius from correcting their behavior in a dramatic fashion.
Jaime sets a small package down on the bed next to me. She twists the end of her braid around her finger, a blush staining her cheeks. “I prepared a gift for you as well. Technically it’s from Staefan and me, considering his wife made it.”
Consider my curiosity piqued. I’ve yet to meet Staefan’s wife, but he’s let his affections for her slip a few times this week.
I unwrap the parcel, revealing a small glass bottle with a silver lid. Inside is a black substance. I roll the bottle in my fingers and gasp. My gaze flies to Jaime, tears stinging my eyes.
She nods with a wide smile. “After you told me about it, I asked Staefan if he knew of a similar product, but lining eyes isn’t a beauty trend here. I’m not sure if it’s exactly like the kohl you’re accustomed to, but Tayla managed to create a black powder that’s safe to use.”
I twist open the bottle and spread a bit on the back of my hand. The fine powder spreads into a neat line of shimmering black. It may seem foolish to get so emotional over makeup, but it feels like another piece of armor returned to me.
“It’s perfect. Thank you, Jaime.”
I pull her into a hug. She stiffens for a moment but wraps her arms around me. “Many blessings to you today,” she whispers. Her eyes are a little misty as she returns to her spot next to the cart.
Lady Hunter emerges from the bathroom. “The bath is ready. We prepared extra oils and flowers to help hydrate your skin.”
If anyone needs to hydrate, it’s the others. They hosted a small party last night to celebrate the wedding. A Velorian tradition with an impressive spread of meat, cheese, and wine.
Every one of my ladies got drunk. Their loose lips were a nice advantage. I’m nearly certain that Lady Hunter is Darius’s spy. When I asked if anybody had information on my husband-to-be, her denial was awkward and flustered. Clearly a poorly covered lie.
Elena enters without knocking as if the room is her own. “You’re still eating? Mr. Cassian will be here in an hour and a half with the dress.”
Normally her tone would irk me, but her commanding presence is a gift in the face of today’s tight schedule. Besides, even she can’t hide a spark of excitement. Obviously, she would rather be the bride, but a front-row seat is almost as prestigious.
I polish off a piece of bread. “Alright, alright. I yield to your timetable, Lady Elena.”
She flashes me what may be the first genuine smile I’ve seen from her. I return it in kind and follow them all into the bathroom. Lotions, brushes, and beauty tools more frightening than a weapons cache line the counter.
Victoria and Natalie will help Cassian set up outside, while the others help me prepare. A simple bath is the first step to realizing my dream. Today is the first day of Zala’s demise. An entire empire is coming for his head, and I will be wielding the blade.
I disrobe and sink into the hot water. The girls rotate through their duties while chatting happily. By the time Cassian arrives with my dress, I’ve been buffed, oiled, and shined more neatly than any blade.
I wear a long fluffy robe, allowing Cassian to remain as we inspect the gown in the sitting area. Any chatter dies out completely as they wait for my verdict. Cassian glances between the dress and me, wringing his hands together.
Words are hard to find. The dress is perfection—white lace with gold silk embroidered on the edges. Like sunlight kissing a cloud. I caress the intricate needlework that forms vines of blooming jasmine. Beautiful.
The design is a blend of my home and the more traditional Velorian style, but where Lady Katherine failed to capture my vision, Cassian went above and beyond anything I put to paper.
A form-fitting, long-sleeve bodice starts around my neck, opening around my chest, before weaving into a flowing skirt. A gold sash is tied around the waist to cascade behind me in a trail of sunlight.
Weddings in Kalisham are held at sunrise. A symbol of a fresh start: two souls joined together. Our ceremony today will take place in the afternoon, but the design is a nod to that tradition.
If this union had been for love, I would’ve insisted on including more ceremonies from home. But outside the private vows and a path of jasmine petals to guide my journey, everything else felt wrong to include. Like it dishonored my family somehow.
Or maybe I just didn’t want to face what is supposed to be a joyous occasion without them.
I close my eyes and feel my sisters and mother around me, embracing me as they gush over the dress. Fareena complains about the lack of color, while Astrella launches into a speech on the historical importance of white for a bride in Veloria.
Mother kisses each closed eyelid. Their ghostly touch fades like ripples in the water as Cassian’s voice cuts in. “Your Highness?”
I glance at the young man fondly. “Thank you, Cassian.”
He blushes and bows deeply. “Many blessings to the bride today. Long live Queen Mina.” He leaves to prepare my other outfits. I cannot wait to see what else he produced for the honeymoon tour.
I breathe in slowly to steady myself. Jaime touches up the kohl around my eyes without a word, and I smile my thanks.
Lady Elena claps her hands together, shattering our somber mood. “Time to get ready. Then final touches before we make our way to the main hall.”
They strip me of the robe and help me into the most delicate dress I have ever worn. It fits like a second skin, as do the gold straps of my heels that wrap up my calves. By the time I step in front of the long mirror for a final check, I don’t recognize the regal woman standing before me.
Gone is the young princess of another life.
A queen is reflecting back, with a shadow of my mother in her stance and the weight of an entire people on her shoulders.
I pull myself up an inch higher as the others fall in step behind me. Time for the first battle.