48. FORTY-EIGHT
FORTY-EIGHT
Mina
The Draconos Pass is peaceful compared to the emotional torrent ripping me apart. Numb dread spreads through my limbs. I struggle to take a full breath, leaving only the pain in my chest.
Darius and Zala were allies.
My husband worked with the man who killed my family.
I have no doubt that Zala was just using Darius, the way I planned to in the beginning. There’s no way Darius could have known the outcome of their alliance.
I know that in my heart, but logic can’t drown out one simple truth: he lied to me.
He could have told me from the beginning, but he let me marry him like a fool, even recycling the same deal. Embarrassment and shame lance through me. I know using each other was a part of our contract. This marriage was for political gains only, but it still hurts so damn much.
I thought I’d grown since Fareena’s coronation, but I foolishly let myself trust again.
The wild wind cools my burning tears as a boom of thunder shakes the room. I need to rein in my emotions before the storm gets out of hand and hurts someone.
“I’m so sorry, Mina.”
“Don’t,” I hiss.
My gaze whips to Darius. The once cold, calculating emperor stares at me with his emotions on full display. Regret and pain are etched in every coiled muscle and furrowed brow. Tears run down his cheeks.
Darius is crying?
Not an all-out sob like the ones thrashing around my chest, begging to be let loose, but quiet tears resigned to their loss. The man who refuses to show weakness is breaking his own rules.
“No, Mina. Today I lost.”
The wind dies down, easing the storm to a gentle rain. My whole body feels heavy as my anger dissolves into confusion at seeing the man I love cry for the first time.
He shed no tears over the memory of Veloria’s death or any other horrible story he shared with me. Why now?
Maybe Alexi was right. I broke him.
The man I married is not the man standing before me. Just like I am not the same woman who walked down the jasmine aisle.
My revenge drove me here, consuming so much of my life until I found these unexpected friendships. I never expected that running away would lead me to a new home.
I love Darius. All of him. His attentiveness, the caring heart he shields behind protocol, his brutal strength and calculating mind.
Why wouldn’t he have taken Zala’s offer? He took mine.
The weight of it all is too much. I sink to the floor, doubling over as a sob rips free. Zala took everything from me, and now he’s ruining the one good thing I managed to salvage from the ashes.
I’m letting him drive a wedge between us, and I hate myself for it.
A soft thud echoes on the wood in front of me. I glance up to find Darius on his knees with my dagger sitting loosely in his hand. The cocky confidence I love so much is gone.
He offers me the blade. “I promised to help you take back your home, and I will keep that vow. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but please, Mina, use me.”
He wipes the tears free from his face and steels himself. Determination peeks through his sorrow. “You wanted a weapon. Veloria is your sword, Queen Mina. Whatever you decide to do with us after your victory, I’ll accept and support. Consider our contract void.”
He’s willing to give up on Kalisham and still help me get my revenge? There is no tactical advantage to his proposal, no victory.
He admitted the truth despite what it could cost him.
Darius is willing to lose for my sake…but am I willing to lose him? I didn’t think it possible for the hollow pain in my chest to worsen, but even after his lies, the idea of being apart from him is like ripping out a piece of my own soul.
“You lied to me.” My voice is raw from crying, so I clear my throat.
“Yes. The princess I made that contract with didn’t need to know. My wife did. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out.”
I take the dagger from his hands, careful not to touch him.
“I accept the annulment of our contract. I’ll decide what is best for Kalisham and Veloria once I settle matters with Zala.”
Darius flinches at my words, a barely there movement that washes away the rest of my anger. I watch as he builds his wall, stone by stone, burying his grief. He stands and offers his hand to help me up.
Despite everything, I know he will always be there to offer his hand. To offer me a choice.
“Choosing to love despite the difficult, through sickness and trials and loss—that’s the secret to a long marriage.” Tayla truly is wise.
Darius chose to tell me the truth over ensuring his success, and despite the whirlpool of emotions inside me, I love him still. I choose to love him. More than I hate Zala.
I ignore his outstretched hand, standing on my own. I do not need Darius. I do not need anyone.
Darius drops his hand like I slapped it away, but his mask stays locked in place.
I will use Veloria’s army to take back Kalisham, but we need to settle all matters concerning the nullification of our contract first. I school my features before speaking.
“Thank you for telling me. Going forward there will be no more secrets, so if there is anything else you need to confess, do it now.”
“That’s everything. You have my word, though it might not mean much right now.”
The storm clouds break up, no longer held in place by my hurt. Rays of setting sun wash the room in soft warm light. It illuminates Darius’s cheekbones as he tips forward in a bow. I reach out and run my fingers through the golden streaks in his brown locks.
Darius freezes at my touch, still bowed slightly. His jaw clenches, and he breathes deeply through his nose when I run my finger down the side of his face, coming to rest under his jaw.
I tip his chin up. The heat and restraint in his eyes make my stomach flip.
“I do not need you, Emperor Gilchrist.” Hurt flickers across his face so briefly I almost miss it. “Our contract is void, but I’m afraid this marriage isn’t. Ending that would be a completely different process.”
“Your position as queen gives you power over our army,” he confirms, his voice void of any emotion. “It would be wise to wait until after the war to separate.”
“For someone so wise, you really are a fool.” I close the distance between us, cupping his face with my hands.
“I do not need you, Darius. I can stand on my own without you, even if it kills me to try.” I smile up at him, willing him to understand. “But I want you by my side. I want my husband.”
Darius grips my wrists, holding my hands in place. He studies me with a mixture of terror and hope. “Mina?”
Butterflies fill my chest, and I know I’ve made the right choice in forgiving Darius and choosing us. I will not let Zala take someone else from me.
Despite the sorrow it took to get here, I trust the man in front of me. “I love you, Darius.”
His warm brown eyes bounce between mine with disbelief and a touch of wonder. My strong, immovable warrior’s hands shake as he kisses me. I melt against him.
The soft kiss is like a gentle rain washing the slate clean. He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer.
“There is no one quite like you, Mina. You are everything good this world can be. I love you.” He wipes the fresh tears from my cheeks. “I don’t deserve you, but I will spend every day earning your love.”
I laugh, pulling his forehead to mine. I let myself get lost in the dense forest of his eyes. “You have nothing to earn. You’ve always been worthy of it.”
Darius smiles against my lips, kissing me until I’m dizzy. We explore each other, filling the cracks of our souls with a new understanding. Every kiss, every touch is a promise renewed.
He pulls back, a question in his heated gaze. “Still with me?”
For the first time there are no walls between us. No secrets or games.
“Always.”
He walks me backward toward the bed. The backs of my knees hit the edge and we fall onto the soft linens.
Darius settles between my legs, smiling down at me. He’s so open. So full of love. Every feverish touch welds together our souls as one. We are whole apart but so much better together.
Nothing will come between us again.