27. Ellie
Chapter twenty-seven
Ellie
Hunter finds me wildly attractive.
Not pretty. Not nice looking. Not okay for a pregnant woman. Wildly attractive.
And Hunter? Well, let’s just say I was not the least bit upset when he popped up out of the water, eyes all dark and broody.
This hot tub is hotter than I expected it to be.
I’m suddenly overcome with the need to be close to my husband. And since he called me wildly attractive … I’m thinking he wouldn’t mind.
I put my hands on his shoulders, urging him to sit, then climb onto his lap. His eyes widen in surprise and I don’t miss their flicker to my lips. He thinks I’m ridiculously sexy, and he wants to kiss me.
Interesting.
The part of me that still sees Hunter as a friend has vacated the hot tub, probably the country, leaving behind this version of me that wants to get up close and personal with my husband.
Hunter sits still as a statue as I slide a hand slowly up his chest to his neck.
“You should hold me,” I tell him, feeling suddenly bossy.
He puts his arms around me, and it makes me imagine sleeping in his arms every night. And what it would be like to be his wife in all the ways.
I let out a long, contented sigh as my thumb lazily strokes his beard.
“Ellie.” Hunter’s voice is low and raspy, and I need more.
“Hmm?” I look up and find Hunter’s eyes on me; his pupils have all but erased his usual chocolate brown.
He slides a hand up my spine and I shiver. It also wakes me up, reminding me of the conversation I had with Cleo. Are these feelings real or are they maybe … hormonal?
I straighten. I would never climb in someone’s lap in normal, non-pregnant life. Oh gosh.
He definitely finds me attractive. But can I trust my response? I almost think I can, but I can’t be sure. And just because he finds me attractive doesn’t mean he wants more with me.
I feel my face redden. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
Hunter is about to speak when Sweetpea does a huge shift toward him and I give a surprised “Oh!”
I’ll never get over the feel of her in there. “I think Sweetpea likes the warm water. She’s moving like crazy.” I stand so my belly is out of the water, hoping Hunter can see the movement. “You want to feel?”
“I think I felt her bump against me just then.” Hunter studies my belly. “I can see her moving!”
Hunter reaches out his hands. He places them on either side of my baby bump. “This is wild. Wait is this … a foot?” He traces an oval on my skin, and we watch as the imprint of the foot slides a few inches toward my side.
“It seems like it.”
“Incredible.” He stares in awe, as Sweetpea’s body shifts from the right to the left. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it reminds me of a creepy alien movie our babysitter let me watch when I was way too young.”
I laugh. “Just imagine how it feels.”
He grins up at me, then turns his focus back to my belly. His right hand begins stroking up and down my skin. For a split second I think he’s touching me, but I quickly realize he’s rubbing Sweetpea’s back. My eyes fill with tears.
I lay my hands lightly on Hunter’s shoulders. “You can talk to her.” My voice is choked with emotion.
He nods. “Hi Sweetpea, it’s …” Hunter looks up at me, and there’s an unmistakable sheen to his eyes. “What should she call me?”
A tear escapes my eye as I lean down and place a slow kiss on Hunter’s forehead. This sweet man. “I think she’ll call you Daddy,” I whisper before I straighten, wanting to take the words back. Is that really the wisest thing, given that this marriage is only temporary?
Hunter wraps his arms around me and Sweetpea, laying his cheek against what I believe is her backside.
The movement makes me wonder … has Hunter even said that this marriage is temporary?
I try to remember our early conversations, but I can’t recall a time he ever said it would end.
I bring one arm around his shoulders and cradle his head against me with the other hand.
“Hi Sweetpea, it’s … it’s Daddy.” Tears sting my eyes and I try to breathe them away but find that I can’t.
“I can’t wait to meet you. I want you to know that you have the best mom on the planet.
She’s kind, fun, and smart. So when the time comes, don’t be afraid to come out.
She’ll be waiting for you.” He pauses, briefly. “And I’ll be waiting for you too.”
My tears are flowing in earnest as I slowly sink back down into the hot tub and Hunter pulls me back into his lap.
My emotions are all over the place, like a kid with finger paints, spreading them willy-nilly all over the paper.
I’m overwhelmed with love for Sweetpea, fear of the unknown, and an affection for Hunter that feels dangerously close to love.
“She didn’t move the entire time you were talking to her,” I say.
“She was listening.” His voice is awed.
I nod. “She was.”
“I love her, Ells. And I’ll always be there for her. And you.”
And I know that one day when—if?—our marriage comes to an end, he will still be there. Because he’s Hunter, and that’s who he’s always been.
I can always tell when Hunter’s thinking, and he has been deep in thought the entire ride home. Meanwhile, my insides feel like a snow globe someone just aggressively shook and I can’t tell one thought from the next, they’re all jumbled up.
When we pull into the driveway, he shifts into park, then pulls out the keys and looks at me. “I want to be Sweetpea’s dad in every way. I want to love her, and provide for her, but I also”—he swallows—“I want to adopt her.”
My mind goes completely blank. Whoever was shaking the snow globe earlier?
Yeah, they dropped it. I open my mouth to say something—anything—because I can tell Hunter’s put a lot of thought into this.
But no words come out because I can’t tell if this would only be digging us deeper into something that was meant to end …
But a kernel of hope inside me flares bright as I think of the way Hunter held me—and Sweetpea—in the hot tub earlier. Could this be an unusual beginning to something real, and lasting?
Or could it make things more complicated?
When I don’t immediately respond, Hunter continues, “Just think about it. And if that’s what you want, I’ll call a lawyer.”
He jumps out of the car, comes to my side and plucks me out bridal style. “Just keep in mind, this is the kind of service I provide.”
And I can’t help but throw my head back and laugh.
“Ellie. I knew you’d eventually call.” Dylan’s voice sends goosebumps down my arms.
I sigh, losing some of the bravery I’d gained during the air-boxing hype-myself-up session while blasting Eye of the Tiger. A habit passed on to me from my dad, though he was generally getting amped up for a speaking engagement.
“I want you to sign over your parental rights.” My voice comes out strangled and too high. My bravery has fled the building.
His response is as dark and menacing as I’ve ever heard him. “Give up something that legally belongs to me? Nah. I don’t think I will. Plus, I think deep down you’d miss my presence in your life.”
I want to throw my phone at my bedroom wall. “Do you think there’s any world where I would let you be a part of my life again? Much less my baby’s? No way.”
“Legally she’s half mine, and I’m not letting that change. You may have stayed hidden from me these past couple of months, but that’s all about to end.”
“The restraining order was only the first step toward keeping you out of my life. She will never be yours. Do you think any court would let you be in her life in any kind of meaningful way after the way you treated me? Especially what you did after you learned I was pregnant?” My voice is nearly a growl that I can hardly recognize as myself.
“It would be my word against yours.” I can see him shrugging. He’s probably kicked back somewhere with his feet up on a table. His confidence is mind-boggling. Who does he think he is?
“You forget Cleo walked in.”
“Cleo saw nothing.”
“There’s no way you would win in court. You might as well sign over your rights.”
He laughs in a way that sends fear skittering down my back. “Looking forward to holding our baby, Ellie.”
With those parting words, the line goes dead, and my kernel of hope flickers.