36. Ellie
Chapter thirty-six
Ellie
The way Hunter’s looking at me takes me back to the feeling of falling asleep in his arms. The love I felt for him, and how absolutely right it was to be with him.
The difference is, now I can see his face, and it emboldens me to tell him that this feels real to me.
That I want it to be real. That I love him, and not in the brother-type way I thought I did when he showed up on my doorstep.
I don’t know when I realized I was in love with Hunter, but just like the Blue Ridge Mountains that have always surrounded me, he’s always been there. And maybe … maybe I’ve always loved him and I’m just now realizing it.
After several seconds of deep soul searching, staring into each other’s eyes, we both decide to speak.
“Ells—”
“I have—”
We laugh, but it’s soft and quick. It’s clear we’re both ready to say what we want to say.
I’m opening my mouth to tell him to go ahead when I feel an odd sensation in my lower abdomen. It’s almost like popcorn popping, and then I feel warmth spreading beneath me.
And that’s when I realize: I’ve peed myself. Oh my gosh, I’ve peed myself and I’m on Hunter’s lap! I try to jump up, but who am I kidding? I’m the size of a baby elephant, and equally uncoordinated.
“What’s going on? Are …” Hunter looks down. He felt the pee. I can’t believe I was about to confess my love to him, then I peed on him instead. I know what my body is doing right now is miraculous, but it also feels like it’s betrayed me a little bit.
“I’m so sorry.” I finally make it to standing and as I do a sudden gush of liquid falls to the burnt-orange and yellow linoleum floor. I stare at it for a moment, then look up at Hunter’s lap. There’s a decent sized damp spot. I raise my head and meet Hunter’s wide eyes.
“Did your water just break?” he asks.
“It seems that way.” A strange sense of giddiness rushes through me that I did not, in fact, pee on Hunter.
“I thought I’d been having Braxton-Hicks today.
They’ve been barely noticeable. But I guess it’s been real labor.
” I laugh like someone truly insane. “Oh, I’m so relieved I didn’t pee on you. ”
“Believe it or not, I’m not terribly worried about coming into contact with your bodily fluids.”
“That’s good considering what’s ahead of us today.”
What’s ahead of us today. I’m suddenly nervous. I’m not prepared. I’ve exhausted myself cooking, with nothing good to show for it.
I look over at the stove and the truly horrifying oatmeal I made and want to gag, but I need to eat something. Once I get to the hospital, I know they won’t give me anything, and despite all the cooking I’ve been doing, I’m not sure when I last ate.
I sit at the table and pick up the spoon in the chili.
“I …” Hunter looks very concerned. Like he’d been preparing to grab me and all our things and make one quick trip to the car. “If your water breaks, I think you’re supposed to go straight to the hospital. And you’re not supposed to eat.”
“Hunter! I won’t have any strength to have this baby if I don’t have something to eat.”
He pulls his phone from his pocket.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m calling Wyatt to make sure it’s okay.”
“I could have just eaten a huge meal before my water broke. A few bites of chili aren’t a big deal.”
“Okay. But maybe skip the shower, just change out of your wet stuff. I’m gonna change pants, then I’ll get our stuff in the car. I can be ready in five minutes or less.”
I sigh. I didn’t have visions of being in full makeup with perfect hair while giving birth, but I would prefer not to be covered in flour and whatever else is currently sticking to my body.
“That’s probably the right thing.” I take a small bite that’s mostly potato, then I’m hit with a contraction a hundred times stronger than the ones I’d been feeling occasionally during the day. “Ahhh …” I lean over and grip the edge of the table.
Hunter rushes to my side, but it’s over by the time his hand makes it to my back.
“Contraction?” He pauses briefly then continues. “That was a dumb question. Obviously, that was a contraction. Are you okay now? Do you still feel like eating?”
“Well, that was no joke. I’m okay, and I still want to eat a bit. You know, energy and all that.”
He wraps his arms around me and kisses my temple. “You’re strong and incredible, and you’re gonna do great. And at the end you’ll get to hold Sweetpea in your arms.”
I pull Hunter’s hand to my lips and place a slow kiss to his palm. “So will you.”
As it turns out, not everyone whose water breaks at home delivers their baby soon after.
Hunter and I have been in this room for roughly seven hundred hours.
I’ve walked, laid in the tub, bounced on the birthing ball thing, all while the contractions increased to excruciating levels.
Hunter looks like I imagine he might have when in the middle of an active warzone.
Intensely focused and looking for any and every way he can help.
He’s rubbed my back through every contraction, he’s fed me ice chips, he let me yell at him for absolutely no reason and later was very gracious when I apologized.
About an hour ago, he and the nurse convinced me to have an epidural. If I’d let my contractions get any closer together it would be too late. I cannot accurately describe how glad I am that I listened to them.
Shockingly, I fell asleep for a few minutes, despite being able to feel the contractions a bit. I glance at the clock. It’s almost eleven. I’m not going to have this baby until tomorrow, am I? I’m about to cry when Dr. Greene comes in for a check.
Hunter holds my hand, and when the doctor tells me it’s time to push, he places a kiss on the top of it. “Ready to meet Sweetpea?”
I grin despite my exhaustion. “Yes.”