38. Ellie
Chapter thirty-eight
Ellie
I’ve stared at Audrey since the moment she was born, but my adrenaline is wearing off and fatigue is catching up with me.
My eyes are closed, my head leans back on the pillow, as I hum Baby Mine from Dumbo.
It’s silly, but I felt bad looking away from her, so the humming is my way to let her know I’m still here loving her.
There’s a light knock on the door followed by Hunter’s voice. “It’s me. Safe to come back in?”
He’d made himself scarce while the lactation consultant helped me to get Audrey to latch. Honestly, after the whole birthing experience, I feel like I’ve lost all sense of modesty, so it wouldn’t have bothered me if he’d stayed. But I certainly understand why he didn’t.
“Yeah, come in.” I look toward the door, waiting to see the sweet, strong man who I’m so grateful I had to lean on during this entire experience. He was amazing. Dylan would have been a trash helper.
Hunter enters the room, and my heart leaps. I’m filled with utter contentment as I look at him, while holding my nursing baby in my arms.
“I went to the waiting room and told everyone she’s here and you guys are doing great. They’re anxious to come back. Cleo tried to follow me.” The grin he’s been wearing since Audrey was born widens. “She’s gonna be one loved little girl.”
I smile back at him then lean down and kiss Audrey’s temple. “I think she’s asleep. I’ll get things situated, then they can come.”
I carefully shift her, then snap up my nursing bra and fix my gown as Hunter goes to get Audrey’s adoring fans. I pull up my knees and lay her, bundled in a white blanket, on my legs for all to see.
Hunter’s voice once again comes from a crack in the door. “Ready?”
“Yep.”
My mom comes in first carrying an iPad filled with my dad’s face. Cleo is behind them, followed by Hunter’s family. They are all wearing pink shirts. They are so stinkin’ sweet.
“How are you, honey?” Mom comes to my side, smooths my hair, and kisses the top of my head.
My eyes fill with tears. Twenty-six years ago, this was me and her. I’m not sure I realized just how much she has loved me until this moment.
“I’m fantastic.”
There’s a chorus of awws, and she’s beautifuls, and wows.
Then Asher leans in to address Audrey. “I wouldn’t have come back to this place for anyone but you.
” He runs a soft knuckle down her cheek, and it’s the sweetest thing to see from a guy who once thought streaking across the field during a high school football game was a good idea.
“What’s her name?” Rosie asks.
Feeling dramatic, I say, “May I present Miss Audrey Marie Dawson.” And then I pull off her little blue and pink hat displaying her thick blonde hair.
Their excited exclamations were all I’d hoped for with the fun hair reveal.
“I’d like to see her,” Dad’s voice comes from the iPad where he’s been enjoying a view of the ceiling.
“Oh! Sorry about that!” Mom aims Dad at Audrey.
“Oh wow. Look at all that hair. She looks just like you did, Ellie,” he says.
Mom nods, and I’m filled to the brim with happiness. All these sweet people, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
It’s after two in the morning by the time the hospital staff herds our family away toward their beds. Judy, my nurse, has me up and walking despite my protestations. I’d hate her if she weren’t one of the top ten best people on the planet.
When she gets me settled into bed with my very own diaper, I collapse onto a cloud of bliss.
Sweetpea is here. Hunter is by my side. Seeing the Dawson’s accept Audrey as their own, as the first grandchild of the family, and knowing as soon as we get Dylan sorted, Hunter is going to adopt her—it all has my heart in such a happy place.
I want to talk to Hunter about it. Tell him how I was feeling before I went into labor, but I should probably wait until I’m not in such dire need of sleep.
Though, who knows when that might be? I want to make sure I’m of sound mind before telling him how I feel and making suggestions about how we should move forward.
“Can I do anything for you? I know you’re exhausted,” Hunter cups the side of my face in his hand, gently swiping his thumb back and forth over my cheek.
I lean into his hand and look at Audrey sleeping in the clear hospital box, then turn my eyes to Hunter. “I’m not that tired. I was just considering squeezing in a 5k before Audrey needs to eat again.”
He laughs. “Great idea. Or … maybe instead you should consider squeezing in forty winks.”
I laugh because who says forty winks? “Okay. You’ve convinced me.”
Hunter takes my hand and squeezes it briefly, then moves to the undoubtedly uncomfortable recliner near the bed. “I’ll be right here.”
I’m about to nod off when Audrey starts to fuss.
“She’s probably hungry,” I say, and Hunter’s already on his feet.
He feels her diaper, then reaches in, making soothing noises as he scoops Audrey up and into his arms. He kisses her forehead, then passes her to me.
It’s like hearts are floating around the room surrounding us.
Is this euphoria? Gosh, I love these two.
I lay there drowsily as she eats like a champ, then Hunter comes and lays her down again. I watch silently as he changes her diaper, then kisses her hat-covered head.
He turns, and notices me watching, then walks over and cups my face. He places a slow kiss on my forehead. “I’m so proud of you, Ells.”
I yawn. “It’s nothing millions of women haven’t done.”
“That doesn’t make it any less impressive.”
I give him a small smile. “Night, Hunt.”
“Goodnight, Angel.”
Sometime later, I wake to shift myself in this terrible bed.
I glance over at Audrey only to find she isn’t in the clear box.
Panic threatens to seize me—did they let Dylan in here to take her away from me?
—until I look at Hunter and find both of them.
His shirt is off, and he’s leaned back in the chair, Audrey on his chest. Her little white blanket is draped over them, and it’s such a precious sight.
I’d be a fool to want anything other than this for the rest of my life.
He must sense my gaze because he looks over at me.
“She started to fuss,” he whispers. “I remembered the woman in the child birthing class mentioning skin-to-skin. I was hoping you could get some more uninterrupted sleep. It’s helped so far, but I imagine she’ll be hungry before long.”
This sweet man. I want to keep him. For myself and for Audrey. He’ll be such a good dad.
The next morning, a gentle knock sounds on the door before a woman with a clipboard steps inside.
“Sorry to bother you. I’m the birth registrar. I just need to collect some information for your baby’s birth certificate.”
I motion her inside, trying to sit up in bed and make sure my necessary bits are covered. But there’s no decency after birth.
She asks me a few questions, which I groggily answer.
Then she turns and smiles at Hunter. “And you’re Dad?”
I open my mouth before I really think about it.
“Oh, um, he’s not the father.” Shame heats my face and I want to crawl under the bed.
The woman’s pen pauses above the paperwork. “Oh.” She offers Hunter an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I assumed you were her husband.”
“He is my husband,” I say quickly, just wishing this conversation could be over with already. “We just got married.”
She nods as if that clears everything up. “Okay, then I’ll list him as the father.”
I frown at her. “Even though he’s not her biological father?”
“In North Carolina, a child born during a marriage is presumed to be the husband’s child,” she explains matter-of-factly. “Since you were married when your daughter was born, your husband’s name goes on the birth certificate unless there’s a legal determination otherwise.”
I stare at her, my heart pounding. “Really?”
She nods. “If someone wanted to challenge paternity later, that’s handled through the courts. But for the birth certificate, we list the husband.”
I look over at Hunter.
He hasn’t said a word.
A slow smile spreads across his face before he reaches over and squeezes my hand.
“I guess she’s stuck with me,” he says softly.
I blink away the sudden sting in my eyes and smile back at Hunter. “And what a blessing that is,” I whisper back through tears.