Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
CARA
I got back from my trip two days ago, and I still hadn’t seen or talked to Vera.
I thought about texting her so many times since our fight, but I got scared every time.
I was afraid she’d yell at me again and I didn’t want to make her more upset.
And honestly, I was angry too. I was just trying to help, and I get that she was stressed, but she still had no right to say those things.
Did she really mean what she said about my job?
That publishing wasn’t a real job because I don’t do physical labor?
Did she really think that was why I dated femmes?
Because we didn’t get hurt? That didn’t even make sense.
We got hurt just like everyone else. I hoped this time apart would be good for us, but I hated it.
I missed seeing her everyday and talking to her and touching her. I just missed her. I tried to forget about it and focus on work, but it was not a success. Every time I’d start working, I’d think “What’s the point? It’s not like it’s real work, anyway, according to Vera.”
I groaned, closing my laptop and covering my face with my hands.
The tears hadn’t stopped since our fight.
After my flight landed and I shut my hotel room door behind me, the tears just poured out.
I pulled it together for the book convention I had to attend for one of my authors, but after that, I was right back in my room crying and cursing the empty room.
I didn’t know whether I wanted to be mad or sad about what happened. I think I was a little bit of both and I didn’t know how to process both of those emotions, so I just cried.
I was so in love with her and she treated me like I didn’t mean shit. I’d grown so much since having her in my life, and a few words brought me right back to the beginning. Is what she said really how she thinks of me? Was our whole relationship a lie?
“Knock knock. Are you okay?” I looked up to see Eloise at the door.
“Peachy.” I said softly. “I’ll be working from home for the rest of the day. You can go home too, if you want.” I stood up to start packing my bag. I’d try to get work done at home when I knew Vera wasn’t several feet away from my office.
It’d be so easy for her to just walk over to my office and apologize. It would also be easy for me to walk over to her and apologize, but the stubborn side of me refused. The anxious part of me didn’t want the rejection, either.
“Cara, sweetie. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Talk about what? There’s nothing to talk about.”
“We’ve worked together for a long time now. You and I both know that’s not true. You’ve been quiet since you came back from California. And Vera hasn’t been over here. She keeps looking over here at your office door, but she doesn’t ever come over. What happened?”
I paused at the mention of Vera. Without looking at my assistant, I wiped a tear away and kept packing my bag. “We got into a fight. Well, technically she just yelled at me, insulted my job, and told me to leave. But I’m fine.”
It was silent and I was going to look up when I saw a hand on mine, causing me to stop moving. “Look at me, Cara.”
I shook my head. “I can’t El. Then you’ll see the tears and you won’t respect me because I’m weak and crying over another woman.”
“Oh, honey. I could never lose my respect for you. It’s okay to not be strong all the time. You love her, I get it. It’s not my business and I won’t ask anymore because I can see it’s clearly something you don’t want to talk about. But just know that I’m always here, okay?”
I nodded, finally able to look at her. Her expression was soft and sad and I wanted to cry. “Thank you, El. You should get home too. Enjoy your Friday.”
I left without another word, forcing myself not to look for Vera. I just wanted to get home and cry myself to sleep.
I was just about to crawl into bed when my phone rang as soon as I plugged it into the charger. I froze, wondering if it was Vera. I didn’t think a phone call would be how I’d hear from her for the first time, but apparently I didn’t know her at all.
My brows creased together when I saw it was her grandmother. Why was she calling me? Did Vera tell her what happened and now she was calling to cuss me out in Spanish for upsetting her baby?
I picked up the phone hesitantly, my voice shaking. “Hello?”
“Cara, honey! I’m glad I caught you before you went to bed. I’d like for you and Vera to come over for dinner tomorrow night. Seven sharp.”
I smiled at her voice. “Hi, Sofia. I’d love to, but I’m not sure how Vera would feel about me being there.”
“What are you talking about?”
Did she not know? How? Vera saw her Abuela almost every day. How did she not know what happened?
“I thought she would’ve told you by now, but I haven’t talked to her in a few days. We sort of got into a fight and—”
“A fight?! A fight about what? What happened?”
I guess she didn’t know. By the sound of her voice, she sounded genuinely shocked and concerned. I sat on my bed and rubbed my face, not really wanting to talk about it but knowing I’d have to anyway. I adored her grandmother, so I told her what happened.
I expected her to defend Vera, to tell me I needed to go apologize.
That her granddaughter was an angel and didn’t mean anything by it.
All of that might have been true, but that didn’t mean I wanted to hear it.
I was angry and in my mind, she was the one who needed to apologize for all the hurtful things she’d said.
What I didn’t expect was for her to start yelling in Spanish. “?No puedo creerlo! When I get ahold of her—”
“Sofia, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to help—”
“Nonsense, mija. You did nothing wrong. You were a perfect angel and I appreciate you caring about my Veronica. She is very stubborn and refuses to accept help when it comes to things like her job. She thinks she’s too strong, and while she is a very strong woman, she still wants someone to show that they care for her.
And you did that. You showed that you care and that you want to be there for her, and I think that is just amazing.
When I see you two together, I can really see the love you have for each other, and it makes my heart so happy.
All I’ve ever wanted was for her to be happy.
Thank you for giving me that, mija. See, I told her going to that speed dating event was a good idea. ”
I blinked. “Wait, what?” Did she know we met there? Did Vera tell her?
“I’d been trying to get her to get out there more but she just wouldn’t.
Claimed she was too busy with work, which is a load of horseshit.
She’s the boss, she can make time, and she does now, for you.
But I guess she finally caved and went to some speed dating event just so I’d stop pestering her.
She doesn’t know that I know it was you who brought back that spark in her after she came back.
But when she started talking more and more about you, and bringing you around, well, it didn’t take much to connect the dots, sweetie.
My granddaughter wears her heart on her sleeve, and it’s got ‘Cara’ written all over it. ”
I just sat there stunned, nothing to say or do. She knew? When I came over and said we were friends, she knew we were lying? How did old people always just know things?
I knew Vera loved me, even if that might’ve changed.
But my feelings hadn’t. We hadn’t exactly broken up yet, but I was just waiting for the phone call or text that told me it was over.
I was getting closer and closer to reaching out first, but I just didn’t know what to say.
And to be honest, a part of me didn’t want the rejection and hurt that was surely waiting for me when we did speak again.
“With all of that said, dear, I still expect your presence for dinner tomorrow.”
“Sofia, I really do have a lot of work—”
“Nonsense. Tomorrow at seven, don’t be late. Love you, mija. See you then.”
She hung up before I could try anymore to get out of it. I guess I was going to dinner tomorrow night at Vera’s abuela’s house. Hopefully I didn’t regret it.