Chapter Three #2
She blinks at me. “But you didn’t freak out,” she says. “You’re the only one who kept your head. You have to try.”
I want to argue and get them home so we can start brainstorming new and more practical ideas.
But I’ve never been good at saying no to my roommates.
It’s impossible when Elaine, who is normally so dry and aloof, is giving me this misty, hopeful look.
“Fine,” I say. “But don’t get your hopes up. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Against my better instinct, I trudge back inside alone. I find Benjamin in the parlor, sitting at the table with a cup of tea. His eyebrows rise as I enter the room.
“Ah,” he says, setting down his cup. “You’re back.”
I manage a wan smile. “My friends insisted.”
He studies me as I take a seat across from him. There’s still a buzz of electricity under my skin from being in the room with him, but it’s easier to bear than before. “You don’t want to?” he asks.
I shrug. “I was mostly here to make sure they didn’t do anything stupid.”
“It seems your job is done, in that regard. You’re free to go, if you wish.”
I hesitate. He’s right. My friends are fine, though it’s clear none of them have a future in this line of work. There’s no reason I have to stick around and see if it’s possible for me to pass the test myself.
No reason at all, except for that traitorous quiver of hope in my chest. And the fact that if I walk away now, I will forever wonder what could’ve been.
I’m too embarrassed to voice the sentiment. But after a moment, Benjamin moves over to the couch and gestures to the seat beside him. I slowly cross the room and sit at his side.
This close, I can feel the energy he exudes. Every hair on my body prickles, goose bumps shivering over my skin to warn me there’s a predator nearby. But Benjamin’s eyes are warm as he looks at me, and when he holds out a hand, I lift my wrist for him to grasp.
He gives me an odd look.
“That’s the safest place to bite,” I say, “right?”
His lips quirk. “You seem to know more about vampires than your reluctance to be here might suggest.”
“I—” I flush slightly. “I mean, I’ve read about this sort of thing. I’m curious about vampires. Who isn’t?”
He chuckles, turning my arm in his grasp. His fangs slide out behind his lips, and I can’t help but stare. His eyes flick to mine. “May I?”
No turning back now. I nod, feeling ridiculous for the way my blood is roaring in my ears. I’ve always thought that vampires were romantic, but I’m certain the reality won’t live up to the fantasy of it. It never does, with these sorts of things. There’s a reason I prefer fictional men to—
Oh.
His fangs sink into my wrist. There’s the slightest prick of pain, and then the world goes hazy.
My head feels light, but not in a way like I’m going to faint.
More like the feeling after a few drinks, that low, pleasant buzz that makes all of your troubles seem like background noise.
My head lolls back as I sigh. It’s so… blissful. Like being drunk, but better.
Benjamin pulls away from my wrist, and I am suddenly burdened with self-consciousness.
I sit up straight, cheeks flaming, and cross my legs.
Then uncross them again, wondering if I’m just bringing attention to the fact that I was turned on by being bitten.
What was that? Does everyone feel that? I side-eye Benjamin to see if he noticed, but he’s busy pulling out a dark vial of liquid and dabbing some on a handkerchief.
“Vampire blood,” he murmurs.
I flinch back, some of the haze clearing from my mind. “Isn’t that a drug?”
“Only when ingested. Like this, it can heal minor injuries without side effects.”
He waits for me to offer my wrist again and presses the handkerchief to the puncture marks. They close up in moments.
I study the healing process, fascinated, before looking up to meet Benjamin’s eyes. He’s watching me—studying me, really, as if waiting for something.
“Well?” he asks.
“Well what?” I shoot back. “Aren’t you supposed to tell me how I taste?”
He huffs a laugh. “First I’m interested in whether or not you enjoyed the experience. You seemed reluctant, so…”
My face heats. “Of course I did,” I mutter, pushing my glasses up and looking away. “I’m sure everyone does.”
“No, they don’t,” he says. “Your friends had more common reactions. Plenty of people fail, even upon reaching the point of being bitten. But for a few rare people, I have heard, it is quite enjoyable.”
I shake my head, unwilling to believe it. This is probably a marketing ploy. “I’m sure it’s not that rare.” I’m not the sort of person who these things happen to. “So tell me. How’d I taste?”
He looks at me for a long moment, as if trying to read something in my expression. Then he says, finally, “Quite wonderful, actually. Not too sweet, but… rich, smooth. You’d make a strong candidate for a valentine.”
I shut my eyes, biting back a curse. Of course.
This would be so much easier if I could say that I wasn’t well-suited for the job for any reason.
But if I walk away now, it’d be because it’s my choice.
How could I explain that to my friends? I could lie, of course, but the guilt would eat away at me forever.
And aside from that, how could I live with myself if I gave up my future because of fear?
But my future is the problem. Who could take me seriously as an engineer if they see me as some vampire’s blood doll? Certain people see valentines as one step above prostitution. I don’t agree with it, but I need to be practical.
Plus… could I bring myself to do it? Even if giving blood doesn’t concern me, just like Sophie told me, everyone expects valentines to be intimate with their vampire patrons. I’d have to live with one, and if they expected that…
“That reaction,” Benjamin says, “is what concerns me. You don’t seem to want to be here, and that is the most important thing.”
I sigh, opening my eyes to look at him again. “It’s not that I don’t want it,” I say. “I… I liked that feeling. A lot. But…” I trail off, and he waits patiently for me to continue. “It’s the lifestyle that worries me.”
His brows rise. “That’s the main appeal for most people.”
“Right, but…” I look down at my lap. “Look, I’ll be honest. I’m doing this for the money. But it’s not the kind of life I want long-term. I was supposed to start school this fall. And I… I’m not…” I shake my head, swallowing past a lump in my throat.
“I understand,” Benjamin says. “You’re not the first person to come to me with such concerns.
Most valentine contracts last a year, and you’re under no obligation to continue beyond that.
I’ll focus on finding you a patron who can be discreet, and out of the public eye as much as possible.
Most of us prefer that, despite what the magazines and TV may suggest.”
I didn’t know that was an option. But my hope dies again as quickly as it flared up.
“My public image also… isn’t the only thing that concerns me.
” I drop my gaze. I’m not sure how to put this into words without feeling foolish, but I know I have to say it before I sign anything agreeing to this.
It wouldn’t be fair to Benjamin or to me.
“I’m… not looking for a romantic relationship.
And I’m not a casual sort of person when it comes to those things.
So… I would prefer to avoid anything, um, intimate. Is that possible?”
I feel stupid even asking. It’s like looking for a sugar daddy and asking, actually, can we just be sugar friends? But I have to know.
I’ve had only a couple of romantic relationships in my life, and they were enough for me to decide I don’t need that kind of distraction.
Benjamin’s brow creases as he considers. “It’s not unheard of, but it will make it more difficult to find a patron for you. Feeding is inherently intimate. Most vampires desire the… full experience, shall we say, with their valentine.”
My heart sinks, even though I already expected as much. “I see.”
“I will do my best to find you the match you’re looking for,” he says. “That’s all I can promise. But you will be paid for the night of the Valentine’s Ball, with or without a more long-term arrangement. Are those terms agreeable to you?”
I suppress a sigh. How can I say no to that? Especially with my roommates relying on me? “Okay.” I massage my temples. “Can I see the contract?”