Six
There was just enough caffeine in my system to carry me through my day.
It helped that Dane had errands for me to do from the time I got in to the time I went home.
I was in perpetual motion, running, so I never sat down long enough to fall asleep.
But on the L, at the end of the day, I drifted off and ended up two stops from where I was supposed to be.
I was going to catch a cab, but I had always liked walking in the crisp autumn air.
The smell of fall, and the chill, revived me.
Flipping the collar up on my cashmere trench coat, I darted across the street toward home.
I had been invited out to dinner by Nick but I’d turned him down.
Kevin had called three times, Ben five, and Wade and Eddie wanted to have a “thank you for saving our ass” dinner for me.
Nothing sounded appealing besides eating cereal and falling asleep in front of my TV. But it was not to be.
Halfway home I got a call from my friend Jenna, reminding me that I was supposed to be at her boyfriend, Tim’s, birthday party in an hour.
They were having it at a pool hall just like he wanted, and I had better not even think about blowing her off, since I was in charge of bringing the cake.
She reminded me that I had volunteered over a month ago.
And I was certain that a month ago it had sounded good, sounded like it would be no big deal.
But now it was a huge deal, practically horrifying in its dealness.
The hoops I would need to jump through at this late hour to accomplish my task were beyond all imagining.
Like changing clothes and catching a cab and carrying and balancing something awkward.
It was whiny and petty, but I was tired. I swore all the way home.
Fortunately, Dane had caterers all over the city that loved him and would do anything for him, day or night, whenever he asked.
Dropping his name was cheating, but I told myself it was okay since it was for a good cause.
When I showed up at the Stick House an hour later, Jenna was mad for a second before she saw the cake.
All was forgiven as she looked at how intricately it was decorated and saw the many layers.
I got a lot of praise lavished on me by everyone.
I appreciated it even as I found a barstool against the wall.
Shaking my head no, I declined the many offers to play pool and instead just sat and people-watched.
I crossed my arms and relaxed, meaning to only close my eyes for a second.
The shaking woke me, because it wasn’t gentle. I opened one eye before tilting my head back and finding myself looking up at the square jaw of Detective Kage.
“No,” I whined, straightening up too fast, throwing myself off-balance.
I would have pitched forward to the floor if he hadn’t put his arm across me to bump me back into the wall.
He did it like you do when you’re in the car and you stop suddenly—putting your arm in front of the other person like that action will save their life and keep them from flying through the windshield.
“Are you even awake?” he asked me irritably.
“Yes,” I snapped at him, annoyed that he was there. I had told myself that I would stop fantasizing about him and so had wanted to put a lot of time and distance between us. The fact that he had materialized out of thin air was unnerving. “Why are you here?”
“I’m with my friends.”
“Then go be with them.”
He ignored me completely. “You were sliding down the wall when I came over here.”
I didn’t want to talk to him.
“You were passed out next to me.”
I hopped down off the barstool, nearly falling until he steadied me with a hand on my arm.
“Careful.”
I rolled my shoulder so he’d have to let go and walked away.
I found Jenna and kissed her goodbye, then surprised Tim by kissing him as well before walking out of the pool hall.
I was debating whether to get a cab or take the train when I heard someone calling me.
I turned around as Detective Kage jogged up in front of me.
“I should take you home.”
“No, you shouldn’t,” I grumbled, angry for no good reason. “Go back in and hang with your friends. I’m not some damn charity case.”
“Okay,” he agreed like he couldn’t have cared less and then turned around and left me.
I was really happy and really sad at the exact same time. Because even though I knew that logically he needed to go away, I still wished he had stuck around.
I stood there in front of the pool hall, raking my fingers through my hair, and just breathed.
I was restless and tired and hungry. My emotions were all over the place, and the best thing for me to do was be alone.
But I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted company.
Soothe-my-nerves company. I tried to think of someone to call.
“What are you doing?”
I turned my head to look at Detective Kage. He was back.
“I asked you a question.”
I let out a long exhale. “I’m thinking.”
“Jesus, don’t start now.”
“You’re hilarious. You should do stand-up.”
He smirked at me. “I thought you were going home.”
“I never said I was going home.”
“So what are you doing?”
“I told you. I’m thinking.”
“About what?”
“Who to call.”
“Who to call for what?”
“Company.”
He squinted at me. “Why call anyone? I’m offering you a ride home.”
“But I’m hungry.”
“I’ll feed you.”
I scoffed, smiling at him. “No wonder you wanted me to go into the witness protection program. Feeding us people has got to be expensive on a policeman’s salary.”
“You’re the only witness I’ve ever fed.”
I just looked at him.
“Don’t read anything into it.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Detective.”
His brows furrowed as a muscle in his jaw twitched.
“I’m gonna let you get back to your friends.” I brushed past him, starting across the parking lot, heading toward the street.
He grabbed me fast, whirling me around to face him. “You’re tired, so you’re way oversensitive. Why don’t we eat and then I’ll drive you home?”
“No. I don’t need your—”
“C’mon.” He smiled at me, slowly drawing me closer to him. “Please.”
“You just wanna make sure nobody shoots me in the head.”
He chuckled. “That would be correct.”
I let out a deep breath as he grabbed the front of my heavy wool fisherman’s sweater. “Okay.”
“Good,” he said softly, pulling me after him.
I was comfortable in his monster car; the smells, the dashboard, and the view from the top of the world were familiar.
“What about your friends?”
“Duty calls. They get that.”
I was a duty, then. How very flattering.
“Try and stay awake, okay?”
I nodded. I would really try.
Chinese food sounded the best, so we stopped at a good place in Oak Park.
He talked about his day, and I told him how many errands I had run for Dane in one eight-hour period.
It was nice just swapping information that wasn’t so much vital as just banter.
I was getting used to him, to having him around, and as much as I knew it was a mistake to get attached, I was having a lot of trouble not doing so.
“What are you thinking now?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Lot of sighing and watering eyes for thinking about nothing.”
“My eyes are watering because I’m yawning and tired, no other reason.”
“You’re a real piece of work,” he said, exasperated.
“Whatever.”
“Get up, let’s go.”
Back in the car I was wide awake, getting my second wind.
I was silent though, not wanting to fight with him, afraid that I would for no good reason other than to keep him there.
It was juvenile, so I clammed up in hopes that he would just drop me off and drive away.
When he stopped in front of my apartment, I muttered a thank-you and grabbed the door handle, but the hand on my shoulder stopped me, and I turned back to him.
He cleared his throat. “You know what? I think maybe I should go in and check your place out to make sure it’s secure and all.”
“Sure,” I said quickly, my mind racing all over again. Did he want to come in to just come in, or did he want to come in and get in my bed?
“Are you all right?”
It was just stupid wishful thinking… Although, why not check out my place a week ago? “Yeah, I’m just a little out of it.”
He nodded like he agreed, and I climbed down out of the car.
“Where are you going?” he asked me as I started leading him across the lawn.
“What?”
“Something wrong with the front door?”
I pointed to the side. Obviously, he’d never stayed and watched me go in. I’d wondered about that. “I can’t get to my apartment that way.”
He shot me a look.
“What?”
“Are you kidding?”
I walked around the side, behind the house, and started up the wooden stairs.
“Wait,” he ordered, like he was exhausted.
I stopped moving.
“Lemme get this straight,” he said quickly, his voice strained. “You walk behind the house in the dark, up these stairs to the top where you can’t see shit?”
I turned around to look down at him. “Yeah.”
“Move,” he ordered gruffly, slipping around me so he could go first. “For crissakes, Jory.”
He sounded more exasperated than mad. I didn’t see the problem.
“How stupid are you?”
What was the correct response to that?
He went up in front of me, took my keys, and opened the door. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” he asked when the door swung open to reveal a wall and stairs to the left.
“What now?”
He stepped sideways to look at me. “You can’t even see up these.”