Six #4
Later on, after everyone had eaten and I’d helped clean for almost two hours with Beverly at my side, talking the entire time, I went and found Sam.
He was watching more football with his dad, stretched out on the recliner, and I sat down on the arm of the chair.
He put his hand on my back, and when I looked down at him, he patted his chest. I sank down on top of him, my head under his chin, one arm under him, the other draped across his chest. I was so comfortable, and he was so warm.
I fell asleep with him stroking my back.
What roused me was Sam’s dad yelling.
“Shhh, you’ll wake him up,” Sam whispered harshly.
“And so what if I do? Maybe he’ll give me better answers than you.”
“Mom,” Sam called for her.
“Thomas,” I heard Regina say, “leave your son alone. He’s done well today. He brought his love back home, and I’m sure he’s not stupid enough to let him go again.”
“Oh God,” Sam groaned, and I felt the sigh come up out of him.
“What do you want me to say, darling?” she asked him patiently. “That whatever this young man wants you to do, you should do, so he never leaves you? Why you let him go in the first place is completely beyond me. Didn’t you know you loved him?”
“Course.”
“But not how much. You had no clue how it would feel to lose him.”
No answer, he simply took a deep breath.
“I knew. He’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“Mom,” he began, groaning, “I didn’t leave him. I had a job to do, and I needed to keep him safe and—”
“You deny it?”
“Deny what?”
“That he’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”
“No, but I’m trying to tell you why I—”
“There’s no but, my love. Before him you were a wild thing with no one to care for you. All those women, and not one that you wanted to make a home with.”
“I—”
“So many, many women and—”
“Mother,” he complained. “There weren’t that—”
“I prayed for a wife for you every night. And now I know the Lord heard my prayers, he just knew better than me what was best for you. I understand now, because when I see the way Jory looks at you, my heart hurts with joy.”
“Okay. You’re layin’ it on a little thick now.”
“He’s an angel straight from heaven, is he not?”
Sam was quiet a moment. “Yes, he is,” he agreed, and I felt his fingers trailing through my hair.
“You are so happy when he’s with you. Everyone said to me tonight, Regina, your son is radiant.”
“I’m sure they did.”
“Sarcasm is not lost on me, Samuel.”
“Christ.”
“Sam!”
“Sorry, sorry. I just—”
“Be quiet. Just sit there and hush.”
“How come no one’s on my side?” he grumbled, shifting so he could kiss my forehead.
“What’s your side?” Michael asked.
“That I had to go and—”
“But you’re a man,” Thomas said in his medieval mindset. “As soon as you got back, you should have gone to him, told him how things would be. This is your place, Sam.”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t own him, Pop.”
“No?”
“You know I don’t. Jory does what he wants to do.”
“And so now he wants to be with you?”
“Yes. I think so. I hope so.”
“You don’t know?”
“I told him how I wanted it to be but…he’s gotta say.”
“He doesn’t say; you say. And he’s here now, so whatever you do, you keep him,” Thomas said.
“Aww, man, it’s not my fault I had to go. I—”
“But it is your fault that it took so long to come back. You should thank God Jory didn’t find someone new. Where would you be then?”
“Who cares whose fault it was?” Michael threw in. “It only matters that it’s fixed now.”
“Christ, I wasn’t in that bad a shape.”
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!” Regina scolded him.
“Mom, that wasn’t taking—”
“You sure as shit were.” Michael interrupted him. “I mean, you know it’s gotta be bad when even Beverly, who barely knows you, can see the difference.”
“Oh yeah? What can you see?” Sam baited her.
“No, Sam, I only meant that—”
“Oh no, you’re in it now, miss,” Thomas pressed her. “Say what you think.”
“Okay.” I heard her voice shake. “I just mentioned to Mikey that you seem really happy today. It’s like I said earlier—I’ve never seen you look better.”
“I see.”
“Are you upset with me?” she asked slowly, her voice very small.
I pushed against him, squeezing him tight before slipping a leg between his. I wanted to keep listening, but I was just too sleepy. I kissed his throat and then snuggled back down with my head over his heart, letting out a contented sigh.
“No,” I heard him answer. “I’ve got the man I love back. There’s no way I could be pissed at anyone right now.”
“So what are you going to do now, Sammy?” I heard Jen ask. She must have walked into the room.
“Whatever he wants me to.”
“Oooh, that’s a nice answer.” She laughed, and everyone joined her.
I woke up later and looked around the room. Thomas was yelling at the TV, and Regina was smiling at me. I turned and saw Michael with his attention on the screen, and Beverly sitting quietly beside him.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” I yawned, smiling at Regina. “I missed everybody.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said cheerfully. “There will be other times for you to see them.”
My face must have given her pause.
“Jory?”
“Regina,” I hedged, “I don’t know if—”
“What?”
“I don’t know if Sam and I are gonna—”
“What?” Thomas snapped, turning to look at me, and now I had Michael’s attention as well.
“I have a job I love and a life, and I think that Sam—”
“Since when do I care what you think?” Thomas asked dryly. “I don’t care. It’s Sam’s fault you went away in the first place, but if you leave again, it’s all on you, Jory.”
“Thomas!”
“Regina, do you hear what he’s saying? He’s going to leave your son.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just…
” I shook my head, climbing off of a sleeping Sam and awkwardly getting to my feet.
I was all tangled up in him and almost took a header into the coffee table before I found my legs.
I moved to stand over Thomas. “I’m not saying I’m leaving him, it’s just moving so fast and—”
“Wait.” Thomas put up a hand in front of me. “Do you love my son?”
This was a thousand times worse than I had imagined it. I looked over at Regina, and she looked as though someone had slapped her.
“I don’t know if I—”
“You don’t love him?” Michael asked pointedly.
“No, I love him, I—”