Chapter Five #2
A hot wave of panic rose in Gabriel’s chest. “Please talk to me, sweeting.” He turned her so that she faced him, found her gaze with his. “What do you want from me? What do you need me to do to regain that closeness we used to have?”
When she searched his face, he hoped to God she found whatever it was that she sought.
Sadness and confusion shadowed the blue pools of her eyes.
“That’s the problem. I don’t know.” The delicate tendons in her throat worked with a hard swallow.
“Yes, I miss the intimacy we used to share quite frequently, but I honestly believe the oddness is more than that.”
“Then what is it?” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m desperate to do whatever you suggest because I miss the light you used to have.”
“I think much of that was due to how solid our relationship felt.” She nodded and found his gaze again.
“What I’m struggling with is the fact we rarely work cases together these days.
You are busy with clients and business more often than not; and I seldom leave the house now.
While I understand there are reasons for all of that, I miss being with you daily in just the simple magic of spending that time together.
Yet I know also you are providing for me, for the children.
” The trace of tears in her eyes nearly had him on his knees begging her forgiveness.
“I shouldn’t feel abandoned or ignored, but—”
“—but the experience with your previous husband did exactly that, made you feel like that,” he finished in a whisper.
“We can’t fully escape our pasts, and perhaps that is a good thing because it keeps us humble.
However, that man was horrid to you in other ways, and please trust that I will never do the same to you,” he quietly finished as cold confusion twined through his gut.
“Mary, listen.” He cupped her cheek, ran the pad of his thumb along her trembling lower lip.
“I miss those things with you as well, but we both know I adore how I make my living.”
“And I would never take that from you,” she said with heavy emotion in her voice.
“Nor do I want to give it up, but what I need is assistance with the business. It’s expanding at such a rapid rate I can’t keep up.”
“If you don’t do something, you will eventually despise the very thing you love.”
“Perhaps.” Was she talking about the private investigation venture or her? Again, he was too much a coward to ask. Then an inkling of an idea began to form in the back of his mind, but it hadn’t taken full shape yet, so he didn’t mention it to her.
Her eyes implored him to fix things, but he was out to sea with how. “I will try to give you that, Gabriel. Like you, I would do anything to protect what we have, what we’ve built.”
“Good.” He nodded. “Though, I will admit, the study as well as the back parlor are too small and crowded for what we need from them. They were good when I first started the private investigation business…”
She pressed her lips together, but there was resignation in her eyes.
“We might need to move house, even though I adore that townhouse because you rented it for me when I was only your mistress. We’ve made so many memories there…
” Another wash of tears filled her eyes.
“Unfortunately, I agree. With everything going on, we are rapidly outgrowing our space.”
“I’ll buy another house, love. We’ll make more memories to fill it.”
“I know. It’s just yet another change I’m not ready for, or rather I’m fighting against.”
The chuckle he uttered rang false to his own ears. “As for freeing some of my time, I could go back to work for Bow Street…”
“No.” She shook her head so vehemently that a lock of hair escaped its pins. “Absolutely not. They didn’t appreciate you before; they won’t now, especially since you’ve made them look like fools in the papers more than a couple of times.”
“There is that.” Because of his success as a private detective, he was able to charge clients a decent fee.
It made a comfortable living, for he needed to save for the children’s future.
“Then I could become a banker. I don’t fully despise numbers…
” Though his account books were rather a mess.
Thank goodness Mary lent a hand in that occasionally.
“Stop, Bright.” When she laid a hand on his chest, heat licked through his blood.
Awareness rippled over his skin, and he wanted nothing more than to spirit her back to their room and do wicked things to her.
Unfortunately, that solved nothing. “You would be wasted at both places and miserable besides.” That certain look of determination on her face told him it was useless for him to argue.
“We’ll figure out a solution to the problem; we always do.
As a team, we are quite formidable.” The yearning, the hope in her eyes fed into his own.
“For now, let us enjoy this holiday. Perhaps the answer will come to us when we least expect it.”
Slowly, he nodded, but he placed a hand over hers and held it to his chest. “To be fair, if Francis and Vivian could repair their relationship that was much more dented than ours, we have a fighting chance.” That also gave him a modicum of hope. “Don’t you think?”
As a smile curved her lips, he let out a held breath in relief. “I do, actually.”
“Good.” While holding her gaze, he brought her hand to his lips and then kissed the back. “Do you have any interest in accompanying me to the traveler’s fair this afternoon? That is, if it stops raining?”
“That sounds lovely. I have been wanting to go, but not with the group of ladies Vivian is organizing.” She clutched his fingers tightly before releasing his hand. “Thank you. For this as well as for making the effort.”
“For you, sweeting? I would do anything.” That was God’s honest truth. It would be good to spend time together, even if nothing had changed all that much. But it would. He’d make certain of it, for he refused to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.