Bonus Chapter #2
Sawyer rubs his forehead like he has a sudden headache.
“It was a nightmare. Each and every time, it went something like this: ‘I’m so sorry, Bree. My wife is home. I’m a married man.
I love her. I can’t marry you. Thanks for everything you’ve done, but it would be best if you moved out.
’ I was trying to be nice. I didn’t want to be the jerk who dropped her like a hot potato the minute you came home.
Truth be told, that’s what I wanted to do.
But after all she’d done for the girls, how could I do that?
Then she’d cry, say it wasn’t fair, that I was ruining her life, that I didn’t know anything about your mental health, that she couldn’t believe I could treat her this way.
Then she’d hug me while crying, so I would try to comfort her.
On my end, it was a guilt-ridden hug only.
Nothing more. Bree always tried to turn it into more.
She’d try to kiss me, to come on to me. Each and every time, I backed away and told her no.
The theatrics would start all over again.
I’d never seen Bree cry, except when we lost you.
Have to say, it took me back. Sure didn’t change my mind, though.
While some of her tears seemed real, most felt contrived, like she was putting on a show.
I think she thought she could actually sway me with tears. ”
“Were you…did you ever…what I mean is…” I can’t bring myself to spit it out.
“Was I intimate with Bree?” Sawyer says bluntly. “No, absolutely not. We were waiting for marriage. Nothing more than kisses happened between us.”
“Like The Kiss?” Please, please say no.
“Nothing anywhere near The Kiss. My feelings for her weren’t strong enough for that kind of passion. That part of me was and is reserved for you and only you.”
I smile, and he kisses me, his lips a soft hint against mine. So achingly sweet, I nearly burst into tears.
Last night, though. No doubt about it. A repeat of The Kiss happened. Too many times to count. Our reunion was intense, then sweet, then intense again. It was a celebration of our love.
If I don’t say this now, I never will. It needs to be said. “It’s just that…before the doctor appointment, you were up in her room for almost forty-five minutes. Didn’t you imagine what I might be thinking?” It was one of the worst moments of my life. That’s saying a lot.
Worry becomes etched on Sawyer’s features. “Hold up. You mean you thought…?”
“I wondered.” My voice cracks.
He pulls me to him and hugs me so tightly, I almost feel like I can’t breathe.
While continuing to embrace me, he pulls his head back so he can look me in the eyes.
“Never, Quinn. Never. I would never do that to you. It was Bree’s best theatrical show, and it lasted forever.
Her dramatics were over the top. I kept repeating the same thing, trying to be kind, then she kept repeating the same thing.
Frankly, it was torture. I just wanted to be with you, and she knew it.
Looking back, I realize she was purposely trying to keep us apart.
Can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. She played on my guilty conscience, and it worked.
I spent so much time trying to end things with her in a nice way.
In my mind, I thought you knew exactly how I felt.
I thought you knew I loved you and you alone, that I was taking care of business so that we could be together without any obligations weighing us down.
I was worried about you, but I felt positive you knew it was me and you.
Only me and you. If it had been a competition—which it was not—you’d won.
The thing is, you were always the winner.
No contest. Please forgive me for not seeing things clearly.
I’m so sorry. My emotions were all over the place.
I couldn’t believe you were actually home. ”
Relief washes over me. I’d felt so sure of Sawyer, yet the strange circumstances played with my emotions as well. I’d suspected him of things that were absolutely not true.
“The situation we were thrown into when I returned home messed with my head. I knew you loved me, but I thought you were torn over losing Bree. I thought you weren’t sure what you wanted.
It’d been so long and there were so many changes, I couldn’t read you anymore.
I was so confused, questioning everything.
I thought you didn’t trust me with our girls.
I thought you were choosing me only because it was the right thing to do. My mind took me to some scary places.”
“No, no, no.” Sawyer shakes his head in the negative as he strokes my back.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve been better at communicating how I felt.
I should’ve explained what was actually going on.
I was so worried about you feeling an ounce of stress, I didn’t share my concerns with you.
That was my mistake. Instead, I caused you to feel anxiety, the exact thing I was trying to avoid.
As for the girls, I didn’t want you to do too much because I wanted you to rest and recover.
It had nothing to do with not trusting you.
I know how much you love our daughters—how protective you are of them.
To be honest, I’m still reeling from your return.
I can’t believe it’s true. But make no mistake, I want you, Quinn Denali.
You are the love of my life. I’m the happiest man alive to have you back in my arms.”
The tears start to flow. I love his words. “When you didn’t want to sleep in the same room, it killed me.”
“My sweet Quinn, did you want to renew our marriage with Bree down the hall? Because I sure didn’t.
It felt wrong on so many levels. Besides, I couldn’t bear sleeping in there with you another night.
Things would’ve happened. I’ve never been able to resist you.
You were so fragile. I was scared I’d hurt you. ”
“You weren’t worried about that last night.”
“I got over it.” His smile is downright wicked.
“Good. Because I needed you. I craved the intimacy we’ve always shared.”
He wipes away my tears. “That’s a me and you thing.
No one else is allowed into that part of our marriage.
” He sighs. “It was a difficult situation. I’m sorry I didn’t explain myself well enough.
I made the mistake of assuming you understood exactly what was happening.
When I think back on the past couple of days, I realize how it must’ve looked to you.
I’m also not blind to the underhanded things Bree was doing.
If I never see her again, it will be too soon.
Her behavior was hateful. I didn’t expect her to act like that, so I didn’t see it at first. Can you forgive me? ”
“I can. I already have.” I understand what went down. Sawyer was trying to free himself while Bree put up a fight. I’m not sure why I’m surprised. It’s typical Bree behavior. I should’ve seen it as well. He never knew her the way I did.
I think he still doesn’t know her the way I did.
We used to be best friends, but we’re Melanie and Scarlett for a reason.
Bree didn’t think about my feelings at all. That hurts. Of course, I wasn’t thinking about her feelings either. I just wanted to claim what was mine.
My emotions have been delicate and fragile since I returned. I’ve felt so unsure of everything.
Not anymore.
I’m the one in bed with Sawyer. I’m the one married to him.
I’m the one he wants. His passion last night told me what’s in his heart.
I can let everything go because I have what I want.
Nothing else matters to me. Like he said: In essence, I won.
Bitterness seeps out of me. I don’t care about all the drama.
It was completely one-sided. Sawyer never doubted me.
Only Bree did. It wasn’t Sawyer’s drama.
It was Bree’s. It wasn’t Sawyer’s angst. It was Bree’s.
Sawyer wasn’t playing with my emotions. It was all Bree. That’s all I need to know.
Losing her friendship makes me sad. Even after everything she did to hurt me. I need some time to forgive her. Even then, our friendship will never be the same. It’s not possible.
Sawyer has answered all of my questions except for one. This one is big. Huge.
“Why did you change the name of your boat? That hurt the most of anything. I know you thought I was dead. I know you were moving on with your life, but…” I hold back tears.
He covers my lips with one finger, then strokes them softly.
“The answer to that question depends on who you ask. If you ask Bree, she would say, ‘Sawyer did that for me as an early wedding present, to show me how much he loves me and only me.’ She told the whole freakin’ town.
If you asked me, you would get another answer. But no one ever asked me.”
“I’m asking.” Waiting with bated breath.
“While I did tell her it was an early wedding present to prove I was ready to move on, the real reason I did it was because Bree wouldn’t stop begging me to change the name to Breezy.
I finally gave in because I couldn’t stand the constant nagging.
Seriously, she wore me down. You were gone, but I was still holding on to you with every fiber of my being, and she knew it.
Changing the name of my boat was one of those days where nothing I did felt right.
It was like losing you again, as though I was erasing you from my life.
I hated the thought of naming my boat Breezy with every ounce of my soul.
Bree doesn’t know this, but the signs on the inside of the boat all remained Quinn.
And…you know how I always back my boat into the dock? ”
“Yeah.”
“The stern said Breezy. That’s what she could see from the dock. Guess what? It’s just a temporary placard. It’s easily removed.”
“I’ll hand you the screwdriver.”
Sawyer laughs aloud. “There’s the Quinn I know and love.
But you need to hear the rest. The decals on the bow, both port side and starboard, they still say Quinn.
I haven’t changed those. I’ve got to do something about it soon.
Having a charter boat with two different names could get me into trouble.
I couldn’t bring myself to make the change permanent. Just couldn’t do it.”
Oh wow. I almost feel sorry for Bree. Almost. “You never took her out on the boat?”
“No way. Even though I thought you were gone forever, that was ours, Quinn. I couldn’t share that with anyone else. Some things are sacred.”
“But there were some things you were ready to share.” Like our bedroom.
His brows furrow. “I thought you were gone, and I wanted someone in my life. We both loved you. Our common love for you created a connection between us. It wasn’t easy for me, though. My mind kept picturing you. To be honest, I’m not sure how our wedding night would’ve gone.”
“You don’t have to say that.”
Sawyer cups my cheek again and kisses my forehead. “It’s true. I was struggling with the concept. But I’d decided to move forward, and that’s what I was doing.”
“Wait. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t blame you for moving on. Not at all. You had the right to be happy. If I had died, I would’ve wanted happiness for you. I wouldn’t have wanted you to spend your days alone and miserable.” Again, brutal that it was Bree.
“You’re too good, Quinn. Much too good.” He kisses me lightly, then continues with our conversation.
“Everything changed when you showed up on my doorstep and saved me from the biggest mistake of my life. Over the last couple of days, Bree showed me a side of herself I didn’t know existed.
I didn’t like what I saw. Remember when I first called her Breezy?
I told you it was because her honesty was a breath of fresh air. ”
“Yes.” Bree had loved the nickname.
“Want to know the real reason I called her Breezy?”
“There’s another reason?” Stop the world.
“Yep. She was your best friend. I didn’t want to trash talk about her. But I called her that because her ruthless nature could be as stinging as a bitingly cold ocean breeze.”
“Ouch.” Yikes. I didn’t know Sawyer had felt that way about her. It’s not too much of a surprise, truth be told. She’s Scarlett, through and through.
“She doesn’t know that, though,” Sawyer adds. “Think about it. Living with her sharp tongue would’ve been my life. She was holding back while living with us, as though she was trying to be on her best behavior. I’m sure it would’ve reappeared once we were married. I call that a lucky escape.”
I can finally smile with absolutely no reservations. “Well, you’re still not free.” He’s mine. More importantly, he wants to be mine.
A smile touches his features. “Lock me up. I’m yours.” His lips meet mine in a searing kiss.
“Quinn, please forgive me for the craziness since you returned home. All I’ve wanted this entire time was to be with you. That was my end goal. Just to be with you.”
“Um.” I pretend like I’m thinking about it. “I might need a little more penance on your part.”
Sawyer grins. “You wicked girl.”
What happens next?
Like Sawyer said, it’s a me and you thing.
It’s not for anyone else.