Chapter Twenty-three
WHEN I WAKE up again, my bed is surrounded. Quinn, Sawyer, Josie, Jordyn, Claire, Walter, Charlotte, Harlan, and…Ren. Not just Ren. Also Ethan, Kate, Susan, and Jack.
I’m surrounded by love, by concerned faces. Is this my tribe? Honestly, I didn’t think I actually had one.
Kate places flowers on my nightstand, a huge bouquet of roses. “For you. Because you’re Bree the Brave.”
Brave? Me?
Ethan hands me a teddy bear. “Glad you’re okay, Bree. You’re kinda like a superhero.”
Superhero? Me?
“Feeling groggy?” Jack asks. “I made sure they gave you pain meds. The good stuff. You deserve it. It’s a good day to save a life.”
“Thaaaanks, Doctor McDreeeeamy.” I frown. “I caaaan’t taaaalk.”
“Don’t talk, sweetheart,” Claire says. “We’re just glad you’re okay. You’re an amazing lady.” Claire’s holding flowers.
Amazing? Me?
Charlotte’s also holding flowers. “Thank you for saving Jordyn, sweet Bree.”
Sweet? Me?
Ren’s holding flowers. It’s like a florist shop in here. “You did good today, Bree. Really good.”
Good? Me?
Quinn grants me a teary smile. “You’re my hero, my courageous friend. I’ll never forget this. I owe you, big time.”
Courageous? Me?
My eyes land on Sawyer. His brows are furrowed, his expression raw, his eyes liquid. “Can’t thank you enough, Bree. I’ll never forget it. A truly selfless act.”
Selfless? Me?
Jordyn says, “I love you, Beezy.”
Love? Me?
Josie adds, “Me too. The car hit you. Did it hurt?”
Everyone in the room laughs lightly. I’ve never felt so loved in my entire life.
“We’ll let you rest now. We’ll be back to see you tomorrow.” Quinn takes Josie and Jordyn’s hands. Sawyer and the rest of the group file out of the room.
Everyone except Ren. He studies me with an intense gaze, then he holds my hand in his. The physical contact means so much to me, a few tears fall. I’m overwhelmed and on overload. My tribe just told me how good I am.
Am I finally a good person? If they say it, it must be true. I want to be the good person they think I am.
“Do I need to remind you that it’s not safe to run in front of a car?” Ren’s voice breaks with emotion.
Over me?
“Ummmm, I onlyyyy remember booookshelves.”
Ren chuckles under his breath. “Rest, Bree. I’ll be here at your side when you wake up. If that’s okay.”
“Yesssss. Never leeeeave meeee. Pleeeease. Loooove you.”
“And I love you, Bree.”
“Whyyyy?” I’ve never understood why he loves me.
“Why?” Ren sounds puzzled.
“Whyyy meee?”
He’s silent for a few moments. “Why do I love you? Because you don’t even know how imperfectly perfect you are.
You try so hard to be good, yet you have no idea how good you are.
You make mistakes, yet you never allow forgiveness to touch you.
You love so deeply, yet you don’t know how it feels to be loved deeply.
You always show up, Bree. Has anyone ever shown up for you? ”
“You, Ren. Only yooooou. I’m sorrrrrry I left yoooou. I’m sooo sorry.”
“You never left me, Bree. You took care of my wife. Do you know how much that means to me?”
“You knoooow?”
“Of course I know. Patty tells me everything.”
“Allie likesss meee.”
“You know what? I like you too. Not only do I like you, I love you. Sleep now. We’ll talk more later.”
“Dreeeaming?” I want to say Am I dreaming? but it doesn’t come out that way.
“No, this is real. So very real.”
REN STAYED WITH me all night. He slept in an uncomfortable-looking recliner next to my bed. When I wake up, I stare at him for a long time, his face in repose.
When I needed him, he came. Maybe I can be there for him too. It’s dangerous territory. Being together, yet not. The slippery slope of temptation will always be daring us to slide a little further.
But Ren is a determined man. He won’t let himself fall. Quinn’s right. He’s a unique man with quiet strength. He impresses me. I’m not easily impressed.
I’m ready to accept my role as the woman waiting in the wings, waiting for my turn with the best man I’ve ever known.
“READY TO GO?” Ren rolls a wheelchair into my room, his attitude cheery.
“So ready for my own bed.” My body hurts. Everywhere. Even in places where there’s no visible injury or broken bones. I just ache. In answer to Josie’s question, yes, it hurts to get hit by a car. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
Jack worked his retired doctor magic and hooked me up with the best pain meds available. Just for a few days, that is, until the worst of the pain has passed.
I’m already thinking of him as my father-in-law and Susan as my mother-in-law. Even though Ren has never once mentioned marriage. I want to be a part of their family so much, I can imagine every magical Christmas morning for the rest of my life.
Ren helps me into the wheelchair. I can’t help but groan at my sore body.
Quinn, Sawyer, and the girls enter the room.
“Oh, they’re releasing you?” Quinn leans down and gives me a careful hug.
“Yep. With strict orders to stay in bed for at least one very long week. Something tells me it will be easier than I think. My body currently objects to movement.” Super fun times for me.
Josie and Jordyn hug my legs while I try not to wince. “For you, Beezy.” They’ve each colored me a sweet picture.
I basically look like a monster with crazy red hair in both pictures, but they’re going to be hung on my fridge with pride.
“Thank you, girls. They’re beautiful works of art. I love them.”
Quinn hugs me again. “Thank you, Bree. I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me.”
Does she mean yesterday? Or the two years I spent caring for Josie and Jordyn? I’m not sure. But I’ll take it.
Sawyer’s looming above me, the blond-haired, blue-eyed beautiful man I’d once loved. I allow myself to look up at him. His eyes are brimming with tears.
“Thank you so much, Bree.” His voice is rough with emotion.
It’s enough for me. At least he doesn’t hate me anymore. Both Sawyer and Quinn were willing to forgive me even before I saved their daughter. That means the world to me. I feel redeemed.
I doubt we will cross paths very often in the future.
We’re still friends, just not best friends.
It’s more than I hoped for. I left too much damage in my wake, which put a huge dent in my friendship with Quinn.
But Ren was right about needing closure.
I feel at peace over my mistakes for the first time since I packed up and left Sawyer and Quinn.
I’m glad this time I’m leaving knowing I didn’t betray anyone, that I did something good.
After Quinn and family leave, Sawyer steps back into my hospital room rather suddenly. “Bree? How about a truce?”
Ren gives me a soft nudge, because I’m suddenly paralyzed. “Say yes.”
“Yes. Truce,” I repeat.
Sawyer nods, then leaves just as quickly as he arrived.
Ren smiles his half smile. “I think you’ve just been granted a ‘Hey, it’s all in the past. Fuhgeddaboudit.’”
Now I know for certain that not only have I been forgiven, but I’ve earned Sawyer’s trust back as well. Relief courses through my body. It’s the best feeling in the world.
Once in the car, I’m actually happy to be leaving Newport. It’s not my life. It never was.
“You okay?” Ren asks.
“Yeah. I feel at peace for the first time in a very long time.”
“Time for a new life, a new beginning. Me and you, Bree. It’s going to be me and you.”
“I can’t wish for someone to die so that I can be happy. I just can’t.”
“No, but I do wish for a release for Allie. She still has her peaceful days, but they seem so rare. I can’t stand watching her suffer. She’s getting worse. Her liver’s failing. She can’t sleep at night. She’s up and down, restless and angry. It’s no way to live.”
“Agreed. But when I visit her, Ren, she’s different. She’s calm, and she looks me in the eyes. I talk to her, and I know there’s some part of her that understands what I’m saying. I can’t explain it. But part of her is still there. I’m sure of it.”
“Wait. She looks you in the eyes?”
“She does.”
“I’ve never seen her do that.” Ren shifts in his seat.
“I think her eyes are drawn toward my red hair. I’m probably just imagining that she understands me. How could she if she has severe brain damage?” I flip on the seat heater, knowing it will help soothe my aches and pains.
“But I’ve felt as though I was getting through to her a few times as well,” Ren says. “It’s a real feeling. There’s no way of knowing exactly what she comprehends. Truth be told, I think she understands very little. The doctors think she’s completely gone. For her sake, I hope they’re right.”
“I see what you mean.” Time to change the subject. “It was nice of your dad to drive my car to your home.”
“He didn’t mind at all.”
I don’t recognize our route. “Wait. Where are we going? This isn’t the right way.”
“My parents would like to look after you while you recover. I don’t think you should be alone. I’ll take you home if you’d rather. My parents wanted me to surprise you. By your reaction, I’m thinking that wasn’t a good idea.”
Um, what? “It’s very sweet of them. And definitely a surprise. I’ve been wondering how I’m going to manage. The thing is, I need to get some personal belongings from home.”
“Make a list. I’ll pack for you. Believe me, you’ll love being pampered by my mom and dad.”
“I believe it.” Except I’d been looking forward to alone time with Ren at my townhome. It’s probably not a good idea for us anyway. We’re still living in the friend zone. As long as he’s a married man, that’s the way it has to be.
I’ve kissed him in my dreams. A million times. “Do you think we’re compatible? My dreams say yes.”
“My dreams say the same thing; therefore, it must be true. Have to say, can’t wait to find out.”
“Same.” I love that we’re on the same wavelength. “Hey, what’s your address?”
“6362 Forest Grove Circle. Why?”
“I used to think 5201 Beachcomber Lane was my happy place. Now it’s 6362 Forest Grove Circle.”
When we pull up to the house, he says, “Really? My house is your happy place?”
“Yep. I mean, only because you’re in it. Without you, it would just be walls and a roof. But…the red mailbox seals the deal.”
Ren laughs heartily. I love making him laugh. “Don’t move. I’m coming to your door to help you.”
I’m surprised when he gently scoops me up into his strong arms. I rest my head on his shoulder. “I think this is the closest we’ve ever been.”
“I now have an acceptable reason to hold you. I’m going to take advantage of it too.”
I love being held by him. Love it. My attraction for him multiplies by one thousand percent.
I’m crazy for Ren. It’s the most honest relationship I’ve ever had.
“Hey, Ren. Everything okay over there? Need help?”
It’s Curtis again. He’s holding a beer bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
“Does he hurry out to his fence when he sees you come up the drive?” I whisper.
“Sort of weird. Like an old busybody always watching the comings and goings of others.” Except he’s young and handsome and could turn the head of every girl in a room.
Ren scoffs under his breath. “You nailed it.” Then to Curtis, he says, “No problem, Curtis. I got it. Thanks, though.”
“Any time. Need anything, just ask.”
“Will do.”
“Really. I’m always here. Happy to help. Babysitting or whatever you need.”
“Appreciate it. I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks again.”
To me Ren says, “That kid isn’t coming anywhere near my kids. No way. Not that he’s a bad person or anything but I’d rather not expose them to constant drinking and smoking at their ages.”
“No need to explain. A drunk babysitter is not exactly in high demand.”
The door opens, the entire family standing in the foyer to greet us.
“Welcome home!” everyone shouts.
Home. This is my home. These people will be my family. I wonder if any of them know what it means to me.