Chapter Twenty-six
BY THE TIME we reach Ren’s house in Canby, it’s past midnight. I’m worried about Ren. He looks ready to collapse.
I doubt he could sleep until he speaks with his father, though.
Ren parks, then kills the engine. “To be clear, I’m not accusing my dad of anything. I just want to hear his explanation.”
“Agreed.”
“I’m not sure anyone is still up. They go to bed early.”
But as we approach the door, it opens. Jack is still fully dressed, his hair ruffled, as though he’s been running his hands through it over and over.
“I knew you’d come,” he says, his voice downtrodden.
This is not angry Jack. This is defeated Jack.
Jack hugs Ren, emotion evident in his tight embrace, in the way he pats him on the back several times, and in the way he says, “I’m sorry, son. I’m sorry.”
When Jack faces me, he says, “Do you love my son?”
“Yes, I do. Very much.”
Jack nods. “I’m sorry I scared you today. I wouldn’t have hurt you. You need to know that.”
I remain quiet. I’m unsure of him.
Jack turns back to Ren. “Do you love Bree?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Have you remained faithful to Allie?”
“Physically, yes I have. Emotionally, no.”
“After four long years, you’re allowed, son.” Jack motions with his head. “C’mon, there are things you need to know.”
We take our seats at the dining table, prepared to have a hard conversation.
Susan wanders out in her robe. “I thought I heard voices. What’s going on?”
“Susie, please join us. You need to hear this too, sweetheart.”
Ever the hostess, Susan quickly boils water for steaming mugs of herb tea for everyone. Some of us add creamer, some of us add a sugar-free sweetener.
The only sound in the room is our spoons tapping against the side of our mugs as we stir.
“Before you say anything, Ren, just hear me out. I can explain, I promise.”
“I’m not even sure what my questions are. I don’t understand what’s going on.” Ren’s voice is flat, as though he has no emotions. I think he’s in shock.
We nurse our hot drinks for a few moments until Jack starts to speak unprompted.
“I’d like to tell you a story, something I’ve never told anyone. It’s going to be tough for you to hear, Ren.”
I can’t read Ren. He’s hiding his emotions, waiting to hear what his father has to say.
“I had business one day in Wilsonville. It’s just a ten-minute drive from here.
I knew the kids were in school and preschool.
I knew you were at Exodus, Ren. So I decided to stop by.
Thought maybe I could take Allie to lunch or something.
Or just say hello. Or help around the house a bit.
Whatever she needed. I loved Allie as if she were my own daughter. ”
Jack looks down at his hands, seemingly gathering strength.
“I knocked. I rang the doorbell. No one answered. I could hear loud music playing. Allie’s car was in the driveway. I felt a little worried, wanted to make sure she was okay. I used my key and let myself in. What I witnessed knocked the wind right out of me.”
“What did you see?” Ren asks, his voice almost a whisper.
“I saw Curtis, wrapped up with Allie, on your couch and in your home. How can I put this politely? Let’s just say…they were in a state of undress.”
The silence in the room is so loud, my ears hurt.
Curtis? The lanky tween model who lives next door? I mean, he’s gorgeous, but he’s so young. Like statutory young. I shake my head, thinking of Ren, and only Ren. This is devastating news for him.
“What?” Ren says with disbelief. “That’s not possible.”
“I’m sorry, Ren. I never wanted you to know. I knew it would destroy you.” Jack sighs heavily.
Ren is made of stone. He reaches toward me, and we join hands. He has never initiated holding my hand, except when I was in the hospital and needed comfort. This is a moment when he needs comfort.
Susan starts to cry, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin.
Jack goes on. “Once I was inside, the music was almost deafening. When Allie saw me standing there in shock, she disentangled herself from Curtis. I averted my eyes as she grabbed her robe real quick. Curtis grabbed his pants and pulled them on, but he didn’t have the sense to leave.
He put his arm around Allie and faced me with a defiant look.
I’m not a fighting man, but I wanted to punch that kid in the face.
Neither one of them was embarrassed or ashamed at all. ”
“Allie and…Curtis? I don’t understand. He’s just a kid.” Ren’s voice is emotionless.
“He looks younger than he is. He’s around twenty-five or twenty-six.
Young, yes, but not a kid at all. It’s a failure-to-launch situation.
Too old to be living with his parents. Too young to be seducing his married neighbor.
Allie said, ‘How dare you just walk into my house uninvited?’ I’d never heard that tone of voice from her before.
It took me back. Then, with venom in her voice, she said, ‘You might as well know everything, Jack. I love Curtis. I’m leaving Ren, and I’m taking the kids.
I’m taking the house, and I’m taking Exodus.
I’m taking Ren for everything I can get.
He’s never here. It won’t be hard to prove neglect.
That dumb restaurant is all he cares about. He won’t even notice we’re gone.’”
Susan gasps.
Ren is so still, he’s not even blinking. “I never even suspected.”
I remain silent, my heart breaking for Ren.
Jack goes on. “I said, ‘That restaurant is how Ren supports you and the kids. He’s been working night and day to make it a success. All so he can provide for his family. You fault him for that?’ Her answer shocked me.”
“What did she say?” Ren asks.
“She said, ‘Yes, I fault him for that! He’s forgotten we exist. Does he expect me to be stuck out here in the country with nothing to do but wait for him to grace us with his presence? Forget that! I want out.’”
“She wanted out?” Ren repeats blankly.
“She did. So I asked her if you already knew. I didn’t like her response. She said ‘No, I haven’t told him yet. And I think that’s mine to tell. I would appreciate it if you kept your big mouth shut and let me do the talking with Ren. He deserves to hear it from me.’”
Jack rubs his forehead as though he has a headache. “I remember saying, ‘Allie?’ I couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth, the hatred and the disgust. It was as though I had never really known her.”
“No, that can’t be right,” Susan sobs.
“That’s what I thought. I actually wondered if Curtis was holding a gun to her back or something. Then she said, ‘I would like you to leave my home, Jack.’ So I did.”
“I wish you’d told me. I can’t believe you’ve held this in all this time.” Susan rubs Jack’s shoulder.
“There’s a reason I never said a word. After I left, I went to my car, and frankly, I wept like a baby.
I’m not a man who cries easily. Allie was about to tear my son’s family apart, to tear out my son’s heart.
I couldn’t process what I’d just seen and heard.
I knew one thing for sure. I knew I was going to tell you everything, Ren.
I knew you needed to be prepared, to lawyer up.
I went home that night, physically ill. I hardly slept, knowing I needed to talk to you the next morning. ”
“Why didn’t you?” Ren asks.
“That was the morning of Allie’s accident.”
“And you decided to never tell me,” Ren states, sounding detached.
“When I knew she would never be whole again, I decided to spare you.” Jack looks as though he’s aged ten years while telling his sordid story.
Ren covers his eyes with his free hand, his elbow resting on the table. “I’ve put my life on hold for her. I’ve spared no expense to care for her.”
“I know you, son. Even if you had known, you still would’ve cared for her. That’s the kind of man you are. Nothing would’ve been different.”
“You’re probably right. But that should’ve been my decision.
” Ren’s still holding onto my hand tightly, gleaning strength.
He exhales deeply. “Sorry, Dad. I know you had my best interests at heart.” Then he asks the one question that’s burning in everyone’s minds.
“Did you take revenge into your own hands, Dad? Did you?”
Jack closes his eyes. “She doesn’t deserve peace.”
Susan blurts, “Wait. What are you talking about?”
“What did you do, Dad? Tell me,” Ren pleads.
Jack explains what happened this evening to Susan, bringing her up to speed. Her sobs are loud in the midnight hour.
Jack looks directly at me with that same hard stare I saw earlier.
“Again, I didn’t mean to hurt you, Bree.
Or to scare you. I struggle with my mood when I visit Allie, as you can imagine.
But the conclusions you jumped to, they scared me.
I would be sent to prison for giving Allie meds illegally.
If you told anyone, I knew they would make a hasty assessment as well. I needed to talk to you, to explain.”
“What’s the explanation, Dad? Tell us,” Ren prompts again.
Jack hangs his head, defeated. “Yes, I’m angry at Allie. Yes, I can hardly stand seeing her, knowing what she was about to do to my son. I’m not a man who hates. You know that about me. But I hate Allie more than I’ve ever hated anyone in my life.”
“And?” Ren says.
“Like I said, she doesn’t deserve peace.
The thing is, she doesn’t deserve to suffer, either.
No one does. I knew I had to bottle my hatred.
The only way I could do that was by helping her, by taking away some of her suffering.
I battled my hatred by showing love. It changed my heart, made me a better person. ”
“How, Dad? How did you take away her suffering?”
“It’s not what you think. You know me. All of you.” Jack sounds like he’s been beaten to a pulp.
I feel guilty for assuming the worst.
“She’s sedated to the hilt,” Ren says. “Why is she so agitated? So restless? It has never made sense to me. I assumed it had to do with her brain damage. Why can’t she rest? Why can’t she sleep?”