Chapter Twenty-nine
REN HAS INVITED me to dine at Exodus with him. Even though it’s a Friday night, his busiest night, he’s not going to be working. He’s going to be dining with me.
Me.
When I enter Exodus, the restaurant seems abnormally quiet for a Friday night. As I walk inside, I realize it’s empty.
Except for Ren.
He’s dressed in his all-black ensemble, just like the night I met him. He’s also standing next to the table where we first met.
There’s a path of rose petals leading directly to him. The lights are a little lower than usual, there are more candles than usual, and the music is a little more achingly romantic than usual.
I’m glad I chose to wear a new dress, a glitzy number from Oscar de la Renta.
We’ve been waiting for this moment. It didn’t feel right to rush into the physical side of our relationship after everything that happened.
We’ve been partners throughout it all, yet we let a little time pass before focusing on us.
It felt like the respectful thing to do.
Allison might not have been faithful to Ren, but Ren has been faithful to his marriage vows.
He didn’t rush right in for a kiss after Allison’s funeral.
It would’ve felt...weird. And wrong. As though we were celebrating her loss from our lives.
So we’ve waited for our turn, knowing it was coming, the anticipation building, the expectations high.
It’s time. I take a shaky breath. Tonight is our night.
“Where is everyone?” I ask, trying not to stumble over my words. So unlike me.
“There’s only me and you, Bree. Just me and you. Tonight, no one else exists.”
Hmm. Me and him. I love those words.
I knew romantic words uttered in his velvety voice would be stunning. But I didn’t know they would make my heart practically stop in my chest.
Oh my. He’s pulling out all the stops tonight. Quinn was right. Grand gestures are the best thing ever.
He holds out his hand, so I walk forward, my dress catching the light of the candles and sending reflections around the room.
Our hands join, really for the first time as an actual couple.
“Ren Chambers,” he says, as though we’re meeting for the first time.
“Breanna Kingston. Nice to meet you. Did you rent this entire facility just for us?”
“I did. Except for a few staff, the place is ours.”
“How very romantic.”
“I thought so. Tonight is all about romance. Our romance. It’s the beginning of us.”
He’s going to leave me speechless again. “Friends first was a nice touch.” I feel like he’s the best friend I’ve ever had. After Quinn, that’s telling.
“It was. But I want more.” His eyes glitter.
Even the way he’s looking at me is different. He’s been holding back. In major ways.
Ren brings my hand to his lips and kisses it gently. “Are you ready to cross the line?”
I think that’s his way of making sure I’m comfortable with what’s happening. “I am. More than ready.”
He bestows me with his sexy half smile. “Would you like to dance?”
“Yes, I’d love to.” The chance to be in his arms? Absolutely.
He takes me out onto the dance floor. We’re face-to-face, only connected by one hand. Our eyes lock.
This is the moment.
He pulls me close until our bodies are touching. We wrap our arms around each other and begin to sway to the music, our bodies moving in tandem.
My imagination never compared with the real thing. His body against mine, his divine cologne, his whispered “I love you” in my ear, all combine to be the best moment of my life.
I know it’s only going to get better.
“I loved holding you in my arms when you were recovering from your accident, but that doesn’t compare to this. Not at all.”
I love the way he whispers in my ear as we’re dancing.
“No, it doesn’t.” With our cheeks pressed together, it’s easy to carry on our conversation without breaking contact.
“Thank you for waiting for me, Bree. Even this past month, since Allison has been gone, you’ve been there for me. Never pressuring me to move on. Never demanding anything from me. Just waiting for me to be ready. It means so much to me. More than you know.”
“I would’ve waited years for you, Ren. Years. And it would’ve been worth the wait.”
“Years? Are you serious?” He sounds shocked.
“Yes. We had no idea how long Allison would live. Once I realized that you were the best man I’d ever met, I knew I was willing to wait for you, to wait for our turn.”
He pulls away a little until we’re face-to-face, only inches apart. “It’s our turn.”
My insides are just as sparkly as my dress, as though beams of light are bouncing around inside my body. I’ve never once in my life felt so enamored with a man. He’s everything I want and more.
Ren moves in a little closer. I know he’s going to kiss me for the first time. My entire body tingles with anticipation.
“I love you, Bree,” he whispers before he presses his lips to mine.
It’s the sweetest, softest first kiss. Not tentative or hesitant. Just tender beyond words.
Every beginning with Ren starts slow and gentle. Then he keeps on showing up, making himself a fixture in my life.
This kiss is about to show up. I feel it coming as he deepens his passion, taking us to new depths. I feel him lose his iron control as he lets himself go, allowing himself to give everything to me.
We’ve waited a long time for this kiss. The postponement of our love is now manifest in the way he kisses me with wild abandon, the way his arms tighten around me, in the way he’s holding me so close to him.
We went from zero to one hundred in the course of five minutes. It feels good to unleash my feelings for him physically, to show him how much I love him instead of just telling him.
This is a brand-new side of him I’m completely unfamiliar with. His passionate nature takes me by surprise. This isn’t the sweet father of two children. This isn’t the loving son of two amazing parents. This isn’t the devoted husband of a dying wife.
This is a man, a passionate man. A man who feels things deeply.
My Ren. The Ren who loves Bree. This is what we get to share.
Just us. No one else can interfere. This is ours and ours alone.
The secrets of our relationship that only he and I will know.
The reason we will sometimes share a secret smile.
Because we know what we have done together, the ways we have loved.
This. This merging of our bodies and spirits. Becoming one is so much more than physical. It’s spiritual. Two people sharing their souls with each other.
I get it now. I finally get it. I understand the unbreakable bond between two people who have shared their love with one another.
Except this is just a kiss. There’s so much more to come.
The bond between us will only grow stronger as our level of intimacy increases.
As the kiss comes to an end, Ren touches his forehead to mine. We’re both a little breathless. I don’t know about him, but I’m in awe of our connection.
“I think that answered any and all questions we might have about where our relationship is headed.” Ren kisses me lightly again.
“I have no doubts whatsoever.” It’s true, I don’t. Not one. Every love song I hear makes sense now. I finally understand what they’re singing about. Every failed relationship I’ve had comes down to one thing. We weren’t really in love.
“Our dinner is ready. Although I’d rather do this all night, I guess we should eat before my chef’s ego is mortally wounded.”
“Okay.”
Then Ren kisses me again before escorting me to our table. The floodgates have opened. Now all I want to do is kiss him. It’s absolutely one of his talents.
But his chef has prepared an elegant dinner for us.
First, we’re served a wedge salad dish with tahini dressing, adorned with cucumbers, radishes, cilantro, and dill.
As usual, it’s beautifully presented. Ren’s right.
I have a palate, and I know food. I just can’t cook it. It’s a mystery I’ll never solve.
“I can’t believe you did this. Friday is your busiest night.” I’m floored by his actions. They say so much without him uttering a word.
“All for you, Bree.” Ren spears a cucumber with his fork but doesn’t take a bite. “These past few months have been a lot. I know it’s been hard.”
“It’s been much harder on you than me. I loved being there for you.”
“I’m glad Allie had two months of peace. If it hadn’t been for the liver damage caused by the overdoses of Adderall, she might’ve lasted much longer. But she wouldn’t have wanted to live like that. It was no life at all.”
Allison passed after two months of peaceful rest. The hospital finally put her on a feeding tube because Ren refused to have her die of starvation.
Once the Adderall was out of her system, the sedatives took effect.
She closed her eyes and never opened them again until her spirit was released from the body that held her prisoner.
She wasn’t alone. She was surrounded by her family, by love.
“You never abandoned Allison. You did everything you could to make her as comfortable as possible. There’s nothing more you could have done.” I remind him of this constantly.
He knows, but the knowledge doesn’t assuage his guilt. “She was denied a calm final three and a half years of life. It haunts me. It always will.”
“I understand. I’m here for you.” He needs me, and I love feeling needed.
Ren sets down his fork, his appetite gone.
“The hospital sure tripped over itself trying to appease me. I think they thought I was going to sue them royally. I probably should, but I just want it all in my rearview mirror. They refunded me a great deal of money. They’ve apologized effusively, practically groveling.
They’ve also made new rules for their facility.
They pride themselves on being the best long-term care facility around here.
Even with everything that happened, I still think they’re one of the best. The whole situation was like something out of a horror film.
I mean, who could’ve imagined what was really happening? Not me.”