9. Amy
Amy
Idon’t want to admit it, Kerry’s house feels kind of…
sterile. Like it’s more of a place he runs his business in than a home.
It’s different enough from my grandparents that I don’t feel anxious, but it does make me think.
It’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong. Almost too beautiful, like it was carefully crafted by an interior designer and hasn’t been touched since.
It makes sense with his line of work, and the fact that he’s probably not here very much.
But there’s part of me that’s sad for him.
I can’t imagine living like this, without any of my things that make me, well…
me. It might be an autistic thing, too, I’m not sure.
My grandparents’ house is all glitz and gaudy, giant shiny chandeliers and marble floors, Kerry’s house is a model house ready for a magazine photoshoot.
There’s no grand staircase, but the kitchen looks like no one’s ever cooked in it.
The couches seem brand new, freshly delivered from a store and then promptly forgotten about.
Someone could make a home out of Kerry’s house.
That’s the difference between his house and my grandparent’s.
A fancy and still wealthy household, but it could be cozy if someone settled down in it.
It’s just that no one has. The cold marble of my grandparents’ mansion would be almost impossible to ever be made cozy.
Kerry’s eyes watch me closely, as if he knows my thoughts as he gives me the tour. Either that, or he knows something I don’t. Which is entirely possible, knowing him.
As we walk into another living area with a gray and white color scheme and just the right amount of accent color, Kerry turns to me with a grin. I don’t know what his expression means. “What do you think, leannán?”
I’m not sure what the right thing is to say.
I take a deep breath to buy myself time to think, and smile.
I doubt honesty is the polite thing to do.
“It’s very nice. I really like this painting.
” I gesture to an abstract painting in blacks and reds.
I do like it, it’s not bad as far as modern art goes, so it’s not like I’m lying.
More like…stretching the truth a little.
Kerry’s smile grows, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he scans my face with a knowing gleam. “Oh really? You like this painting, hm?”
Why does he say that like he’s actually secretly the artist and I’m going to get stuck pretending to enjoy modern art for the rest of my life?
“Um…yeah?” I shrug, not sure what to say to him.
He throws his head back and laughs, deep from his belly. I stare at him, smiling nervously, having no idea what’s so funny about that. “Oh, my dearest leannán, you don’t have to lie just to appease me.”
My eyes widen. He knew I was fibbing? “O-oh, I…”
He runs a hand down my arm until his fingers encircle my wrist, tugging me towards him.
“You’ve found something to compliment in every single room I’ve shown you.
You don’t need to do that, love.” He leans in close, eyes twinkling with that smirk of his I’ve grown so familiar with.
“Unless you want to find something to admire in my bedroom. I wouldn’t mind that.
” Memories of him on his knees before me yesterday flash through my mind.
He seems to know just what I’m thinking about, because his grin grows. “Hungry, leannán?”
My brain tries to catch up to what he’s saying. The way he’s looking at me makes me think that he’s not asking me if I want food and it’s probably an innuendo. But I have no idea how to answer a comment like that. I’m not super skilled when it comes to dirty talk in social interactions.
“I…” My breath feels like it’s barely squeezing its way into my lungs.
He groans and shakes his head. “As much as I’d love to indulge in making sure those cheeks remain flushed for the next several hours, I have urgent business that needs attending to right away. Business with my colleagues, you see.”
I nod. “I wouldn’t think that you had any other kind of business, so…” I’m not sure whether or not to be relieved or disappointed by him ending that moment.
He chuckles, rubbing the inside of my wrist with his thumb.
“I suppose not.” He takes a deep breath and leans in again.
“This is what I want you to do, leannán. I want you to go and explore to your heart’s content.
But know that the master suite is the last door at the end of the hall upstairs, and that’s where you’re going to sleep tonight.
Jack and Liam will be here soon to drop your things off. ”
He’s giving me the master suite…? “You don’t use the master suite as your bedroom?” I arch a brow. That seems odd. Why would you use anything else if you live alone here and have the choice for any room in the house?
The wolfish grin that spreads over his face instantly makes my spine straighten. “Of course I do, love. Did you really think I’d want you anywhere but next to me? All I want is to be able to wake up next to you for the rest of my life.”
His words steal the air from my lungs. “Yes, you said you wanted to marry me.”
He nods, that grin still just as strong as ever. “Yes. That’s still what I’m planning to do.”
“We haven’t had much time to actually talk about what that means.” I tilt my head.
Seriousness takes over his features, and he leans in, pressing his warm lips against my forehead with a gentleness that rivals the softest of teddy bears. “No, but we will. I don’t think it’s something that needs to be rushed, do you?”
I search his face, and I can tell he’s genuinely asking.
He’s not trying to tell me to drop the topic; it’s a sincere inquiry of whether or not this is urgent to me.
Or, at least, I think it is. “It’s not urgent.
I know you’re needed elsewhere. I can wait.
” I keep my voice soft, trying to convey that I’m not angry or upset in the slightest.
He kisses my forehead again. “It won’t be long of a wait, I promise.
Go explore. You can walk outside, just stay within the walls of my property.
Get settled in. If you need anything before I’m done, ask Jack or Liam.
They’re running a couple of errands before dropping off our luggage, but they should be here soon.
You can sleep, if you’d like. I know you’re exhausted.
” He squeezes my shoulders. “I’ll be in my office, which is in the south wing, first floor, down that hall.
” He points out a hallway he hadn’t shown me yet.
I’m guessing because he has business waiting there, whatever that may be.
“Just so you know where to find me, in case it’s an emergency. ”
I nod and smile. I can tell he’s putting in a lot of effort to communicate things clearly and directly. I appreciate it a lot, and it does wonders to relieve some of my anxiety. Not all of it, I’m not sure that’s possible right now, but it does a great deal.
He searches my eyes for a moment, making sure I’m truly okay, before nodding and releasing me. “I’ll be back soon, leannán.”
I watch him disappear down that hall, and despite being so tall, he manages to disappear into the shadows as if they’re welcoming his return.
It reminds me of what he is, what he’s done.
What he’s going to be doing right now. But instead of being scared, I find it brings me peace.
I feel fully protected for the first time since this whole debacle started.
I’m safe. I’m protected.
I look out to the surrounding gardens outside the window of this living room.
He said this place is protected and secure, even though I don’t see many people around.
I didn’t even see any guards when we arrived.
But I know Kerry wouldn’t be so dumb to just…
trust that a gate and walls would be enough.
Seems like the opposite of what he’d do.
The more I look out of the window, the more I catch glimpses of the truth.
Cameras, many of them, catching every angle.
Someone in the distance, weaving his way through the underbrush of Kerry’s property.
He’s wearing all black with what appears to be a large rifle in hand.
I’d be scared, but by their leisurely stroll, I’m inclined to think that this is a guard, not an intruder.
They seem to be avoiding nearing the house, and I wonder if that’s because of me.
Kerry probably doesn’t want to frighten me by seeing a ton of men flashing guns as soon as I got here.
Now that I know what I’m looking for, I see half a dozen more guards roaming around over the course of the next five minutes that I stand here watching.
Safe. It’s somehow a luxurious feeling after the past week or so I’ve had and the horrible day with my grandfather.
I take a deep breath and put my hands in my pockets as I walk away from the window, taking my time to look through the house.
Now without Kerry around, I can really look at things and not worry about reacting appropriately.
And honestly? It’s even more sterile and personality-less the second go through. I can’t help but wonder why.
I try to tell myself I’m not headed upstairs to go look at his bedroom, but I know it’s a lie.
Eventually I give up pretending and head up the grand staircase.
It’s just as sterile upstairs, more of a hotel than a home.
There’s quite a few guest rooms that look like they’ve been untouched for a long time.
Large double doors sit at the end of the hallway, dark wood have panels on them with carved depictions of three oak trees on each door. It’s the most interesting bit of architecture in this place, and it doesn’t match the rest of the house.
I still feel like I’m intruding as I place my hand on the bronze doorknob and twist it, but Kerry did say this is where I’d be staying and that I’m welcome to explore. Even with explicit permission, I still feel strangely guilty, like I’m sneaking around in someone else’s house and being nosey.
Maybe I feel that way just because I am curious about Kerry and his personal space. I want to pry back the layers of this mysterious man to understand what’s really going on underneath. And what better way to do that than to observe his sacred space that no one else is privy to?
Just as I go to open the door, footsteps pound up the stairs, making me jump. I spin around to see Liam and Jack dragging suitcases up the stairs. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, what’s in this thing? Rocks?”
I can’t help but let out a small laugh, even if I feel a bit bad since it’s my suitcase they’re talking about. “Sorry, it’s books.”
Both men turn to see me and light up at the sight.
“Ah! It’s Miss Amy!” Liam grins as he lifts my suitcase up like it’s suddenly as light as a feather.
“Good to see you again. So, the boss told us everything is to be brought to his room, eh?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me in what I’m pretty sure is supposed to be a suggestive manner.
Jack smacks his arm. “Stop it. Leave the poor girl alone.”
Liam rubs his arm and pouts like it actually hurt him, when Jack barely hit him. “Aw, but it’s just so fun to do! And she’s our friend now anyway, right? What’s a bit of teasing between friends?”
Friends? Is that how these guys view me? Sometimes it’s hard for me to tell when someone is being friendly versus them actually thinking we’re friends. I can’t help but smile at the proclamation.
Jack scoffs and shakes his head. “Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be considerate of her feelings. She’s been through a lot this week, you dope. We don’t need to add humiliation to that list because of your big mouth.”
“Aw, c’mon, Jackie boy, I’m just havin’ a bit of fun—”
“Liam,” Jack’s voice comes out rough and firm. “It’s none of our business. Let it go.”
My eyebrows raise at the standoff happening before me. Something tells me that this argument really isn’t about me at all, it goes a lot deeper than that, and I’m not privileged to know what’s really going on here. Like Jack just said, it’s none of my business.
After an awkward moment of them staring at each other, facing off like two rams for dominance, they finally seem to figure things out because they both turn to me with a smile.
Liam looks brighter than the midday sun.
“All right, then, love, sorry about that. Shall we get your stuff settled in and get you some lunch, hm?”
I take a deep breath and nod with a smile.
I can do this, this new life. I can settle in, find a place here, make a home. Just as soon as I have a place here and know what the hell is going on between Kerry and I. And if I could also have some reassurance that my best friend is okay, I might actually be able to rest.