22. Amy #2
But things are different now. He’s proven himself, taken the time to show me that he actually does want my every need and desire met, even above and beyond what I’m thinking of.
He’s dedicated, determined, and focused on pleasing me, in and out of the bedroom.
He means business about this. My mind spins with the revelation that someone would actually feel this way.
“It still doesn’t feel fair to me that it’s your wedding night, too, and your needs are getting neglected.” I watch as he slides the handcuffs around my wrists, connecting them to the headboard.
He tugs on the ribbon. “Arms up.” I don’t delay in lifting them, letting him restrain me.
It’s an odd feeling, unfamiliar, but strangely pleasant.
He settles back down between my legs and sighs.
His hands find my knees again, caressing them with a softness that makes goosebumps rise on my skin.
“Is it so hard for you to believe that what I need is to see you relaxed, satisfied, and happy? No longer fretting over what you’re doing right or wrong? Or if you’re not doing enough?”
I blink up at him. I have absolutely no idea how to respond to that. He might as well have just spoken an entirely different language, because the concept he just presented to me was so foreign that I can’t even comprehend it, really. Why would anyone need that? “I-I don’t understand—”
“Clearly,” Kerry responds back with a sigh.
“Maybe you don’t need to. Maybe I just need to show you.
” He leans in and kisses my forehead. “Sometimes things aren’t just about me getting off, leannán.
Maybe it’s about more than that. And, even so, maybe I do get off on seeing you free and unrestrained from the worries that have plagued you your entire life. ”
His words stun me. I’ve never even considered something like that was possible. Someone caring for me and meeting my needs, sure. But actually wanting to? More than that, even. Receiving fulfillment and pleasure from meeting my needs and desires?
Yeah, that’s way above anything I’ve considered. I admit, I didn’t even know that was possible. I just thought people didn’t work that way. Humans are kinda self-absorbed, and everyone has their own needs to take care of, their own desires to seek after.
Kerry strokes my cheek as I think all this through, as if he can sense my inner turmoil, how I’m freaking out internally.
“Shh, it’s all right, leannán. You don’t have to have it all figured out now.
You just have to trust me and let me show you what I mean.
” His fingers resume their dipping and swirling between my folds, each caress letting pleasure zip through me.
He grabs the ball-gag and gently puts it in my mouth.
It’s big enough that I can’t accidentally choke on it, but I can still easily spit it out if needed.
The soft texture is great to bite into. “Don’t overthink things. Just feel. Just be.”
He builds me higher and higher, eventually taking off my underwear to access me better.
It’s hard not to think, goes against every conditioning just to feel, but he doesn’t really give me a chance to spiral.
Every stroke of his finger makes me fly a little bit higher, until I’m soaring, exhaling roughly around the gag.
The pleasure is exquisite, but in a soft and gentle way, a light and airy sensation that relaxes all of my muscles.
Kerry gently guides me through my orgasm, and then rubs my legs, his large hand encompassing them. “Good. A good place to start.”
My eyes blink back into focus. Start?
Kerry gets up, going into the en suite bathroom again.
I notice when he stands that there’s a definite bulge in his trousers, but he’s acting like it isn’t there at all.
His movements are as fluid and unhurried as ever as he strolls back into the bedroom, a box in his hands.
“I’ve been dreaming of doing this for quite some time, leannán.
I just didn’t know how much you needed it. ”
He lays out an array of different sex toys, mostly vibrators and a couple of dildos, and I can only stare at him.
He chuckles and sits back on his heels. “I told you, I’ve always wanted to take my time with you.
And now, on a most sacred of nights, I get the honor of doing so.
And I hope I will get the chance again many times throughout our long and happy marriage.
It may look different each time, but I hope you will always leave feeling loved and cherished.
That’s my greatest goal in all of this, leannán.
I want you to understand the depths of my care for you, and I want you to realize how special you are. ”
He grabs a small, purple bullet vibrator and turns it on.
I inhale sharply as he runs it along my hipbone.
He watches me with an intensity that I’ve only ever seen from him.
His eyes search mine, scanning my face, and I realize he’s probably been doing this the whole time, watching to make sure I’m okay.
And maybe enjoying my expressions of pleasure, too.
Which have been real. I could still exaggerate things, even with the restraints and gag, but they are enough of a hindrance that I don’t feel like I have to. He’s right. I need this, and now I feel free. Because of him. Perhaps for the first time in my life.
He arches a brow at me. “Okay?” I nod, and he goes back to watching me as the vibrator descends.
Kerry keeps me up late. By the end of it, he was right. I’m too tired to get ready for bed. I barely make it into pajamas before I’m collapsing into bed and snuggling into his side as I fall asleep. If his goal was to make me feel loved, cherished, and special, he was wildly successful.