Chapter 26
INSECURITIES ARE UGLY, AND SO ARE CUFFLINKS
CLAIRE
I peeked at the clock when I heard the front door open and close.
Two-thirty a.m.
I wasn’t sure why I had such a bad feeling in my gut. I knew Declan would be out late. I knew where he was going. I could’ve asked him to come home with me. I could’ve called him or gone to meet him to see if everything was okay.
But I didn’t.
I was starting to realize that while I trusted Declan with my life, I didn’t trust him with my heart.
Seeing Sarah’s hands all over him tonight brought me crashing back to reality in the harshest way. Declan wasn’t really mine. He was going to go back to the life where he dated models and daughters of billionaires.
I didn’t fit his mold.
When I started to realize that tonight, my stomach soured. I blamed it on the champagne but really it was my anxiety. I didn’t want to face the truth. I’d enjoyed getting lost in our Swiss Alps love affair.
But that reality was almost over.
My bedroom door creaked open but I kept my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. I felt the mattress dip before a muscular arm reached around my middle and pulled me into a broad chest.
I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes.
I wasn’t ready to give up the way I felt in Declan’s arms. I wasn’t ready to go back to a life where I was invisible.
Declan’s warm breath tickled my neck as he rested his head there. I caught a faint smell of something I couldn’t put my finger on. It was floral, but the blatant smell of whiskey was drowning it out.
“I missed you tonight, Bear.”
I didn’t respond, I just let him hold me. I fell asleep in his arms, ignoring the intrusive thoughts that this trip was coming to a close and so were Declan and I.
I wasn’t avoiding him, okay?
Maybe I was.
But, could you blame me? I’m just a girl. A weak girl who would crumble at the sight of him shirtless. Declan had these chocolate brown eyes that made me stupid. Like “forget what I was saying mid sentence and drop my pants” stupid.
That was dangerous when I was trying to clear my head.
Last night, the panic started to set in that I wasn’t sure I trusted Declan. I had no real reason to feel that way. There was no lipstick on his collar. There were no photos circulating social media. There was no evidence of foul play.
But, I also didn’t really know him. He could have a history of cheating. He could be a serial relationship destroyer. Since I’d worked for him, he’d had multiple girlfriends over the years—commitmentphobe, much?
I dropped my head into my hands with a small scream.
Declan wasn’t a liar and I needed to stop looking for a flaw or problem. He was one of the most brutally honest men I’d ever met. Literally to a fault. He gave me no reason to think he was lying, my insecurities were just running rampant.
I walked out into the frigid air and buried my face into the crook of my scarf. My body was still not adjusted to the weather here. I’d lived in Texas for my entire life, and while the heat was not my favorite, it was slightly better than living in the middle of a fucking glacier.
Tonight was the formal Christmas gala which was the last big event of the trip. Paul didn’t want to take over the actual day of Christmas so he threw the biggest party of the year on the twenty-third and encouraged families to spend time together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Declan and I were planning one last Christmas movie marathon tomorrow night. For someone who claimed to hate this time of year, he sure seemed to suggest a whole lot of classic Christmas movies. I was shocked when I heard he’s never seen White Christmas or The Santa Claus.
Criminal.
I kind of liked that my love for the holiday was rubbing off on him—he was less grumpy that way.
Then for Christmas, Declan and I were going to cook a nice dinner together, bake some cookies, and just have a relaxing night. The end of the trip meant the end of our fake relationship, so we were soaking it in while we still had it.
The bell above the boutique door chimed as I pushed it open. Shopping for the perfect earrings to wear tonight was the perfect way to completely not avoid my fiancé. My eyes took in the small shop before I spotted a rack of jewelry in the far corner.
I was almost there when someone stepped in my path.
“Claire, so happy I ran into you.” Sarah Driscoff’s smug little face was way too close to mine as she smiled from ear to ear.
It wasn’t lost on me that I literally last named her every time she forced her way into my day, but I couldn't help it. The girl was like an evil man-stealing robot.
I winced and took a step back. I didn’t return her smile. These little games were exhausting and I had no interest in playing anymore.
“Can I help you with something?”
She wasn’t fazed by my flat demeanor.
“I just had so much fun last night. It is really a shame that you didn’t come.”
She was trying to get a reaction from me but I refused to give her what she craved.
“I was just so tired. I was pretty happy when Declan crawled into bed last night though.” I smirked—okay, I was still willing to play a little dirty.
“I’m sure.” She didn’t drop her smile as she opened the tote bag that was perched on her shoulder and pulled out a small pouch. “Be a doll and give these back to Declan for me? He left them.”
She held out her fist and raised her eyebrows like she was confused why I didn’t know what she was handing me. Apparently, I wasn’t moving fast enough for her because she grabbed my hand with a scoff and placed something in my palm. I closed my fingers around it and dropped my fist.
My nerves were shot and my mood was worsening by the second. If she didn’t leave, I was going to get arrested for assault.
“Thanks,” she said in the sweetest tone. “See you tonight?”
She wiggled her fingers over her shoulder as my fingers went numb. Whatever I was holding felt like a ten pound weight in my hand. When she finally left the store, I raised my fist and took a deep breath.
This was going to be fine. It was nothing.
I opened my palm and my heart shattered.
Cufflinks.
Declan’s cufflinks, and I knew that because of the DJA that was engraved on them.
Meaning he took off his shirt.
And Sarah had them.
He left them.
My bottom lip quivered as I fought back tears. I was so stupid to think he liked me—to think I had any chance at a happy ending. This was all an arrangement, a deal. Feelings were never supposed to be involved and it was my own fault for letting that happen.
At the end of the day, I had to remember that this was about my career. Declan was most likely going to leave and I was going to get a real marketing job. One day, he would just be another man who helped me get ahead in my career.
A traitorous tear escaped down my cheek but I swiped it away in fear that it would freeze solid against my skin in the cold, outdoor air.
This was all going to be fine. Three days. Only three days until I went back to my boring life. The boring life that, at this moment, didn’t seem so bad.