CHAPTER TWELVE
Caleb was silent and preoccupied on the drive to the station, his eyebrows pinched together.
‘Did you get it sorted out?’ I asked lightly. ‘The thing you were working late on?’
‘Sorry?’ He turned to me with a frown.
‘It was nice of Amanda to stay late to help out.’ I kept my tone light and smiled to show I was just making conversation.
‘Amanda? Yes, she’s very good.’
A car horn sounded behind us and Caleb immediately speeded up, frowning in his rear-view mirror. I glanced back but the nearest vehicle was some distance away.
‘You can relax now, you know,’ I murmured. ‘The working day is over and you can enjoy my company instead.’
Caleb turned at that and gave me a warm smile, as if he’d only just realised that I was there in the car with him. ‘That sounds great.’
‘Great. I’m glad it sounds great, because it also feels great to see you. And you look great as well,’ I said, babbling a little because I was feeling a little on edge.
His eyes twinkled at me. ‘So are you going for the record? How many times you can put the word “great” in conversation?’
I grinned. ‘Great heavens, no. Oh, there’s a great parking space, right next to the station door. Sorry, am I grating on you now?’
We looked at each other and laughed. And my heart turned a somersault of joy.
Hopefully, now we’d be able to just enjoy the train ride, the restaurant and each other’s company, just like we did when we were first together .
. . when we were in the first flush of romance and everything seemed so easy.
As we talked and laughed together on the train, it really did seem as if everything was fine, and I scoffed at myself for having worried that he and Amanda were hiding something from me and that my surprise visit to the site office had been somehow inconvenient.
We were still in good spirits as we took our seats in the romantic atmosphere of the candle-lit restaurant and ordered our pasta.
After the waiter had gone, I leaned across the table and took Caleb’s hand. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so contrary recently. About us. I suppose I’ve just been a bit scared at how much I was feeling for you – and thinking it was all happening too quickly.’
He nodded. ‘You were right, though, to want to take things slower.’
‘I was?’ I looked at him in surprise.
‘A relationship can flare and burn out really quickly if you’re not careful.’
‘True.’ I tried to smile. Is that what he thought was happening to us?
And then the waiter was bringing over the champagne I’d ordered, twinkling at me as if he knew a secret – that I was about to propose or something. Which was ironic, really, because I was no longer feeling in a celebratory mood.
I suppose I’d hoped Caleb might reply that he felt a lot for me, too.
But he hadn’t.
A relationship can flare and burn out really quickly . . .
We ate mostly in silence and I could tell he’d drifted off into his own mind again and was thinking about something else altogether. I might not even have been there.
I was aware of a couple on the next table having a quiet but determined argument, and with Caleb so silent, I found myself listening in. It was all quite depressing. Did the nagging and the arguments happen to all couples, once the romance had worn off?
At one point, the man raised his voice. ‘Iris! For heaven’s sake!’
The sound seemed to spring Caleb from his thoughts. He straightened up, looking quickly around the restaurant, and at the same time, he reached over and took hold of my wrist in an oddly protective gesture.
Our eyes met and in that split second, I felt I didn’t even recognise him. He’d gone somewhere I couldn’t follow.
He relaxed and let go of my wrist with a sheepish smile. ‘Sorry. I wasn’t sure what was happening there.’
‘I think you’re working too hard,’ I said softly.
‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘You’d tell me if something was bothering you, wouldn’t you?’
‘What?’
‘It’s just you seem a bit preoccupied these days?’ I said gently. ‘And I’d like to help if I can.’
He looked directly into my eyes then. Not in a romantic way, which was how I’d wanted the evening to go. It was as if he was studying me and trying to work out how to tell me something.
Then he smiled. ‘It’s work. I won’t bore you with the details.’ He reached for my hand. ‘Sorry for letting it spoil tonight.
I gazed sadly at the champagne in the bucket. It hadn’t even been opened. ‘Look, why don’t we skip dessert and you can get home and have an early night?’ I suggested, because he really wasn’t himself. ‘We can do this again some other time.’
He nodded. ‘I probably should get home. We can take the champagne with us, to be enjoyed at a later date.’
‘Okay.’ Disappointment was washing through me, although I was determined not to let it show. He’d agreed to an early night, alone, far more readily than I’d been expecting.
It seemed odd to be catching a train so soon back to Sunnybrook.
After all the hopes and the big build-up to tonight – well, my hopes and my big build-up – it felt sad to be travelling back early and in virtual silence.
To say the evening hadn’t gone the way I’d hoped would be a vast understatement!
But these things happened sometimes. You couldn’t always be smiling and upbeat and having the time of your lives. There were always going to be times when your moods were out of synch.
Except . . . that had never happened with Caleb. In all the months we’d been seeing each other, I couldn’t recall a single evening like this, where we’d seemed so awkward with one another.
And now it seemed he wanted to cool things between us. He’d actually told me that. I swallowed hard as I stared out of the train window. It turned out I hadn’t been imagining the sudden and scary feeling of distance between us . . .
The taxi from the station dropped me at my door.
We kissed briefly but the painful lump in my throat and the emotional way I was feeling prevented me from suggesting another date for dinner. Caleb didn’t say anything, either.
I got out, hurried up the path and turned at the entrance door to wave.
Caleb in the back seat was leaning slightly forwards and talking into his mobile phone. I waved but he didn’t notice, and a second later the taxi pulled away. It seemed he’d already moved on from our dinner date.
My heart felt heavy as I climbed the stairs to my flat. Who had he been talking to as the taxi pulled away?
Maybe I was paranoid, but I had the strongest feeling it was Amanda . . .