Chapter 9 Hayley
Hayley
I t was snowing steadily now, soft flakes of white spinning and swirling in front of the car, sparkling in the headlights like frozen confetti.
Jamie drove confidently, followed a narrow lane for a short distance and then turned through a set of open gates. “We’re here. This is home. Someone has cleared the worst of the snow so that’s good.”
“This is it? I don’t see a house.”
“You will in a minute.”
“You don’t have any houses near you?”
“Nearest neighbours are across the field. The Pattersons. Family friends. She’s a retired dentist. He’s a historian.
Written books about this area. We’re on the borders with Scotland so it’s all battles and conflict.
Pick a time in history and someone was probably invading us.
We have more castles than any other county, most of them in ruins of course but that just adds to the interest. My closest friend, Will, is their son. You’ll meet him at the party.”
“He is the one driving up with Becky?”
“Yes, although I’ve no idea how that happened. I don’t think it was planned. Then along from them are the Freemans. Geoff and Rita. I was at school with their youngest daughter, Beth. We kissed once.”
“You kissed her?”
“Technically she kissed me. We were seventeen. School play.” He grinned and she resisted the temptation to punch him on the arm.
She loved these little insights into his past. It was like slotting another piece into a large jigsaw puzzle.
“Are you trying to make me jealous?”
“I don’t know. If I was, would it be working?”
“Annoyingly, it might be. Have you seen her since?”
“Of course. She always comes to my parents’ New Year’s Eve party if she’s home. And brings her husband and her three cute, but very noisy, children.”
He always made her laugh, and right now she needed that because now that the reality of meeting his family was only moments away, she felt increasingly nervous.
Her hands were a little shaky and it puzzled and annoyed her because she’d been taking care of herself for her whole life.
Her childhood had been an emotional wasteland and she’d learned to rely on herself.
She was fiercely independent. She’d built a life and taught herself not to need people.
Which made her feelings for him all the more surprising and unsettling.
She gazed at his profile. How had she ended up here?
Somehow this man had sneaked under her defences, and he’d done it without her even noticing.
She’d gone from being self-reliant and never needing anyone to being unable to imagine a life without him, and that was terrifying.
She felt vulnerable, and she wasn’t used to feeling vulnerable.
It made her a little unsteady, and that unsteadiness grew as they approached his home.
They’d had such a happy day and now she felt almost afraid. Nervous and a little sick.
She curved her fingers into her palms and immediately felt his hand cover hers.
“You’re going to be fine.” He spoke softly. “I’ll be right there with you. The whole time.”
The fact that he seemed to sense everything she was feeling was something she was still getting used to.
What shook her was the depth of feeling she had for him. It was like standing on a cliff edge, a breath away from falling.
She tried to lighten her mood. “What if I need the bathroom? Are you going to follow me there?”
“If it’s the downstairs bathroom it will be a tight squeeze—” he glanced at her briefly “—but I never mind being squashed into tight spaces with you.”
Her stomach flipped.
They couldn’t get enough of each other, and for a wild moment she wished they’d gone away somewhere, just the two of them, but she’d been seduced by the idea of a family Christmas, and also she knew how much it meant to him to be with his family at this time of year.
She would never have asked him to skip it.
And it was too late for regrets because she saw a gleam of lights through the snowy trees and then the driveway curved and opened up and there, right in front of her, was the house.
It had the most perfect dimensions, and she felt a lump form in her throat because if she’d been asked to design her dream family home this would have been it. Soft light glowed and through one of the downstairs windows she could see the sparkling outline of a large Christmas tree.
She felt as if she’d landed in one of her own festive illustrations.
“It’s so pretty.”
“Yes. Normally we just have a wreath on the door, so my parents have clearly upped their game.” Jamie parked next to two other cars, swinging into the space with ease. “Looks as if Rosie and Declan are already here. That’s good. It will be less overwhelming for you if you meet people in stages.”
She couldn’t stop looking at the house. She’d drawn so many Christmassy images, imagined so many festive houses, and yet none had looked quite like this. Because this was real. Whatever she drew, she was always on the outside. An observer. But now she was going to be part of it.
And with that realisation came another flash of disquiet.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t tell them our news right away?”
“No. We’ll wait until this evening. Make a big announcement.”
“Okay.”
They were his family. He knew them, surely? And what did she know about family dynamics. Nothing at all.
He leaned in and kissed her. “I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life and nothing is going to change that.”
She’d never been the best thing in anyone’s life before and she still couldn’t totally believe it or trust it. It was like taking a step onto ice, not sure if it was going to hold your weight.
“I love you too.” And she hoped this whole thing wasn’t going to backfire. She and Jamie felt as if they’d been together forever but for his family their relationship was new.
Would it all be too much? What if they disapproved? What if they didn’t like her?
She wished she didn’t care so much what other people thought, but she did care. She cared a lot.
She gathered herself and opened the car door. The cold bit into her and she shivered and grabbed her coat.
Jamie gathered together their bags and he’d barely closed the car door when the front door opened and a pool of golden light spilled across the snowy pathway that led to the house.
A group of people appeared in the doorway, all talking at once and a large dog bounded across the snow to greet Jamie.
“Hey, Percy—” He stooped and made a fuss of the dog and Hayley did the same, relieved to have something to focus on because this whole meeting felt so awkward.
“He’s adorable.” She rubbed his back and cupped his sweet face in her hands and then laughed when Percy leaped on her, planting snowy paws in the middle of her chest.
“Now you’ve done it.” Jamie closed a hand on his collar and pulled the dog down. “No jumping.”
“It was my fault for encouraging him.” And she didn’t mind. It was a relief to find that at least one family member seemed to approve of her. “He’s gorgeous.”
“He’ll take advantage. Hi, Mum—” He stepped forward to hug the woman who had picked her way across the snow to greet them.
“I’m so happy you’re home. I missed you.” She was tall—almost as tall as Jamie—and slim, with dark hair swept up casually and secured by a clip at the back of her head.
“Yeah, me too. It’s good to be here. I’m looking forward to Christmas.”
“So are we.”
“The house looks amazing! Did you and Dad do that?”
“No—we have Roy the roofer to thank for our next-level light show.”
Hayley stood awkwardly, waiting, watching the way they hugged. Tightly. Like two people with a long and unbreakable connection. Family.
Eventually the woman stepped back and gazed at Jamie. “How was the journey? Did you manage a trip to Holy Island?”
“Yes. And we stopped for lunch and had a walk on the beach at Embleton.”
“Good choice. It’s beautiful there.” She turned with a smile. “And you must be Hayley. I’ve been so excited to meet you.”
“I—oh—” Hayley found herself wrapped in a warm hug, and she stood for a moment, caught off balance by the sheer warmth of the greeting.
She wasn’t used to it. She didn’t know how she was supposed to respond so she hugged the woman right back, and when she finally let go she discovered that her nerves had receded and she no longer felt sick.
Jamie was grinning. “This is my mother.”
“I assumed as much.” And she could see instantly where he got his warmth and kind nature. “It’s good to meet you, Mrs Balfour.”
“Call me Jenny.” Jamie’s mother stood back and beamed at both of them, a gleam of emotion in her eyes.
Then she shivered and glanced up at the sky.
“This is all very pretty and festive, but if it doesn’t stop snowing Will and Becky will be stranded for the whole of Christmas.
Come inside. It’s freezing out here. Rosie has been standing with her nose pressed to the window, waiting for you to arrive. ”
“Woohoo Jamie!” A young woman sprinted across the snow, her long hair flying. She flung her arms around Jamie. “I’m glad I arrived before you. I’ve hidden all the chocolate. There is no way you’re finding it this year.”
“You think?” He hugged her tightly and then let her go. “We both know I’ll find it.”
“You won’t. It’s good to see you.” She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, her voice lowered. “Tomorrow we are going for a long walk on the beach. Just us. I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
It was only because she was standing close by that she heard those words. Hayley wondered what Rosie needed to say to Jamie that she didn’t want anyone else to know.
And then Rosie turned, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks dimpled in a friendly smile.
“You must be Hayley! I’m Rosie. I’ve been dying to meet you.
Welcome to our Christmas grotto. We only arrived about ten minutes ago so we haven’t even unpacked.
We’re ruined Mum’s beautiful hallway with our chaos. ”