Chapter 16 Becky
Becky
H er sister had guessed! How had she suddenly guessed?
And why had she blurted that out about Will? What had she been thinking ?
If she’d felt awkward before, she felt even more awkward now.
After the chaos of the last hour she should have felt relieved to finally be alone with Will, but she’d never felt more uncomfortable and embarrassed. She wanted to hide under a rock and never come out again.
Instead Becky huddled deeper into her coat and braced herself for the fallout of her actions.
How much worse could it get?
She’d just endured the most excruciating hour of her life, accepting everyone’s congratulations, even raising a glass in a toast, and then fielding questions about her “relationship,” and generally being overwhelmed by other people’s excitement (if this was how it felt to actually announce one’s engagement, she was never doing it.
The fuss !). She’d reached the point where she was so overwhelmed and frantic she was about to scream out a confession and tell everyone to leave her alone when Will had taken her hand firmly and steered her to the door.
We’ve been trapped in a car and we need fresh air.
This is all a little overwhelming for both of us, I’m sure you understand , he’d said with a calm smile as he’d urged her gently out of the room and grabbed both their coats, extracting her from her family before they could bombard her with more questions and before she could open her mouth and confess to her terrible lies.
Outside the house he’d put his arm around her, and when she’d jumped in shock he’d pulled her closer, holding her firmly.
“They’re watching us out of the window,” he’d said, “so if you want this little charade of yours to last more than a couple of minutes you’d better play along.”
Charade.
And now here they were, alone, still playing out that charade.
She groaned and turned her face into his shoulder. What had she done ?
She couldn’t believe he was taking it so well. When he’d suggested a “walk” she’d assumed he was going to tug her behind the nearest tree and demand to know what she was playing at. And she wouldn’t have blamed him.
But so far he hadn’t done that. Which was very Will.
He’d always been a decent person. And a good friend.
And for a moment she wished she could just stay where she was, safe in the curve of his arm.
“It’s snowing again,” she mumbled. “Are you sure you want a walk? I mean, we could just find a quiet spot in the garden and you could yell at me there.”
“Why would you think I’m going to yell at you?”
“Er—I assumed that was why you suggested fresh air. So you could vent your anger without everyone hearing.”
“I suggested fresh air because I could see you were so stressed you were about to say something you’d probably regret.”
“We are way past that point. Were you even listening to the words that came out of my mouth?”
“I was listening. It was—interesting. I’ve never seen you so emotional before.”
“I’m sorry. So sorry.” She kept her face hidden in his coat. “I’m going to dig a hole and lie down in it until Christmas is over.”
“That sounds both cold and uncomfortable. I’m sure we can find an alternative option.”
“You could just lend me your coat. I like your coat.” She could have sworn he was laughing, but why on earth would he be laughing? And when she glanced up at him his expression was serious.
“Let’s walk.”
“You seriously want to walk? You’re not freezing?”
“I was born here, just like you. I’m used to the weather. And a walk is the only way we’re going to be able to have the talk we urgently need to have.”
“I think I’ve done more than enough talking for one day.”
“No, you haven’t.”
He kept his arm around her, his broad shoulders protecting her from the worst of the wind as they headed along the narrow path that led from the house to the beach.
Snow lay underfoot, softening every footstep and blurring the edges of the trail.
Eventually the path reached the sand and she stopped.
This was far enough, surely. No one would overhear them here.
And she just wanted to get the conversation over with.
“Will—”
“Can you believe there is snow on the beach? It’s magical.”
“Yes, but—”
“It’s not the first time. It happened a few years ago. People were stranded in holiday cottages, unable to leave. Created havoc.”
“I remember.”
She wondered how long they were going to carry on talking about nothing at all, when they had something far more important to talk about.
And then finally he turned her to face him.
“Why are you looking so devastated?”
“You really need to ask? This is a total disaster, but I’ll fix it, I promise.
I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re very angry. I don’t know what came over me but I wasn’t expecting Rosie to put me on the spot like that.
I didn’t even know she suspected! And then she just blurted it out in front of everyone and frankly I wanted to die right there, but—” She stopped as he pressed his fingers to her lips.
“I know. It’s okay, Becks. I’m not angry. A little surprised, maybe. Generally when I’m in a relationship with someone, I know about it.”
Mortified, she leaned her head into his chest again and felt him shaking. She glanced up. “Are you laughing ?”
“Yes.” His eyes were brimming with it. “You have to admit it’s funny.”
He had such blue eyes. And he had a way of looking at you that made you feel—
No! She wasn’t going to think about that now.
“It isn’t at all funny. How can you laugh?” She covered her face with her hands. “Why did I say all that? Why didn’t I just tell Rosie she was wrong?”
“You did tell her she was wrong.” His voice was steady. “She didn’t believe you.”
“Still, I should have found a different way to convince her. I didn’t think.
It was a hideous situation, and I didn’t know what to do.
And having said all that I’ve made everything a thousand times more complicated.
How am I going to undo this? Forget burying myself in a hole. I think I just want to die.”
“That seems a little extreme.” Gently, he eased her hands away from her face. “I’m sure we can find a less dramatic alternative.”
“You’re still laughing.”
“Because it really was funny. I keep seeing your dad’s face. And your mother’s face. I’ve never seen your mother so happy.”
“I know! She was almost dancing on the spot. I’m amazed she believed me. I’m obviously a better actress than I thought.” And because he was laughing and didn’t seem at all angry, she started to laugh too. “What a mess. I did warn you I was terrible at relationships.”
“I had no idea that included pretend relationships. You’re shivering.” He unwrapped the scarf from his neck and put it around hers instead. “Time to plan, before you get frostbite.”
“I already have a plan. I’m going to march back in there, confess that I was so stunned by Rosie’s ridiculous statement that I panicked and blurted it out without thinking.
I’ll tell them everything I said was rubbish.
What has really shocked me is the fact that they believed that we’re together.
I mean, it was as if they’d been waiting for it.
That’s insane, isn’t it? We’ve known each other forever.
Your mother might be trying to match you up with any woman who comes your way, but mine doesn’t do that.
Why would she even think us being together was a possibility? ”
His gaze was steady on hers. “I don’t know. I suppose you were convincing.”
“Maybe.” It occurred to her that no one in her acquaintance would have treated this situation as calmly as Will. “Anyway, let’s go back inside and I’ll execute my plan and take what’s coming to me.”
“Your plan is flawed.”
“It is?”
“Yes, because your objective was to stop Rosie thinking you’re in love with Declan. If you backtrack now, you won’t have solved your problem. You’ll have to spend the whole of Christmas trying to convince your sister and it will be stressful and exhausting.”
Her mood slumped. “That’s true.” And deep down she was mortified.
She’d stayed away, she’d done everything she could to keep her distance.
And she was so good at hiding her feelings she’d been confident that her sister would never find out.
“You’re right, I really don’t want Rosie to suspect she was right all along. ”
“And presumably it will make things awkward with Declan too.”
“I wasn’t looking at Declan. I have no idea what his reaction was.”
“He looked shocked.”
“Yeah, I can imagine.” She groaned again. “I am never going to be able to look the man in the face again. What on earth must he be thinking?”
“How did it feel when you saw him?” The question was casual. “Are you still in love with him?”
Declan.
The strange thing was that until Will had mentioned him just now, she hadn’t given him a single thought since leaving the house. Which was odd, because for the past few days she’d thought of nothing else. She’d been dreading the moment they came face-to-face in case she gave herself away.
How could she have forgotten him so easily?
“Becks?” Will prompted her gently.
“I don’t know.” She frowned. “You know I’m not good at expressing my feelings and that’s mostly because I’m not very good at understanding what I’m feeling.
My emotions are a total mystery to me. Declan has been part of the fabric of my life for so long I’m having trouble figuring out what I feel or where he fits.
I can’t even work out where my sister fits, and that used to be simple.
I’m going to spend the whole of Christmas avoiding half my family. Yay. Fun times ahead.”
“If your sister thinks you’re with me then it won’t be difficult at all. You won’t need to avoid anyone.”
“What are you suggesting? That we stay ‘together’? Well, you did say that if there was anything you could do to help...” As jokes went it was pretty lame, but he smiled anyway.