Chapter 5
BEAU
There are about four times in my life when I was terrified to the point of fight or flight.
A very silly night playing graveyard games as a teenager when a friend spooked me enough to send me scurrying.
The day before my first-ever job interview, when I was so scared, I questioned my entire career choice—which admittedly sometimes I still do. But at least in that case I fought, even if I didn’t get the job.
The day Emily told me the baby wasn’t mine, and although I broke down in tears, I still count that as a fight, since I didn’t flee until after I told her it was over.
And two days ago when I walked in on Arik getting a blowjob and flew away from that scene as quickly as I could.
Today marks the fifth time, only I am not fleeing or able to fight.
How can I do either when Emily just made eye contact and our paths are on a collision course with nowhere for me to go but back the way we came from?
I have no ammunition, but this is definitely shots fired from her side, because she is with our not-baby and the baby’s real father.
That’s when I remember the third option in the fight or flight scenario.
Freeze.
She’s almost to us, with recognition dawning on the face of her… boyfriend, I guess? When I feel Arik’s hand slip into mine.
I turn to look at him as he grins back at me and takes the latte from my other hand.
“Don’t hog it all now, pumpkin.” He takes a drink, and just as I see in my periphery that Emily has reached us, Arik hands the latte back to me and yanks me in by my collar for a kiss.
He tastes even more like pumpkin than my last gulp.
Arik is kissing me. Holy shit, he’s kissing me! I can taste him because his lips are on mine, and I am so shocked that my mouth hangs open enough for his tongue to slide between my teeth too. The kiss is swift but deep and so warming that it banishes all immediate chill around me.
If I had any remaining doubts that Arik swings both ways—and after seeing that blond on his knees the other day, I did not—they are long gone now, along with all possible resolve to keep my crush at bay, because holy crap is he a good kisser.
“Oh, um… hi, Beau! Funny running into you like this.”
Like this. Lip-locked with a gorgeous man, who is pushing a baby in a stroller just like Emily is. She knows I’m bi, but I doubt that makes this any less shocking. I’m shocked. I barely register her obviously awkward and surprised greeting for several seconds.
I know why Arik kissed me. He knows how hurt this woman left me when she cheated. But damn does part of me wish it was more than just pity.
“Emily. Hi! Sorry. Funny, yeah. Um… this is my—”
“Boyfriend. Arik Anders.” He extends a hand to her. The baby girl is adorable, but still not any more mine than Bastian is.
Not that I want Bastian to be mine!
“Anders? Not like that millionaire corporate guy?” Emily’s boyfriend asks, and even if I do remember his name, I am choosing not to.
“With a ‘B’ actually.” Arik grins.
“O-oh. Wow!” Emily sputters. Catching her off guard like that the way she once blindsided me feels indescribably… vindicating. “And, um, how did you two meet?”
“I believe Beau meant to wish you well at the hospital the day your daughter was born,” Arik says without missing a beat. “Then he found something better to do with his time.”
Ouch. I really love Arik right now.
“Conversely, my ex and I had a very cordial breakup. Nothing sordid occurred such as… well.” He glances so purposely judgmental from no-name back to Emily that I want nothing more than to kiss him again. “You know.”
Emily looks so stunned by his comment, she doesn’t speak for a while, but as much as I want to sit back and just enjoy this, I also really do not want to see her. Like, ever. In my entire life again after this if I can help it.
But maybe I do have one piece of ammunition left to load.
“I hope you’re happy,” I tell her and muster a smile when she looks at me.
“I am for the first time in a long while. Happy Holidays, Em.” I tighten my grip on Arik’s hand, and all too easily reading my request, he steers the stroller around them to continue us toward the bridge.
I take a long sip from my latte before mouthing at him, “Thank you.”
“My pleasure,” he mouths back and pecks me swiftly on the lips again.
He didn’t need to do that, but it leaves my mouth tingling.
I strain my neck just enough to catch Emily staring at us.
Once we’re on the bridge and pause at the top to enjoy the view, Arik asks me, “I hope that doesn’t earn me any sexual harassment charges?”
I laugh. “Not today,” I say and take another sip from my latte.
Once thing I can be certain of is that, once Emily is out of sight and Arik’s hand slips from mine, all I can think about the rest of the outing is how much I want to reach for him again.
“He kissed you?”
“Just to make Emily jealous!”
“Dude, like… normal bosses do not do that.”
Bellamy has a point. I wasn’t planning on telling him about my recent Anders adventures when he called me, which was mostly as proxy to remind me how upset Mom and Dad are that I ditched on family Thanksgiving. Our sisters are being just as judgy about it, but at least I have Bell in my corner.
“He totally has a thing for you!”
Or not. “He does not have a thing for me.” I glance out of Arik’s bedroom to be certain he isn’t hanging around within hearing distance.
He’s supposed to be downstairs feeding Bastian while I made the excuse of starting a load of laundry to escape conversation.
Bellamy calling at the same time was a bonus.
When Arik isn’t home, I’ll grab stray clothes from his bedroom sometimes to do a wash. Being up here now feels like the worst choice, however, because finding a pair of underwear beneath his bed when I bend to grab a sock makes me think of Arik sleeping in the nude.
Or doing other things in the nude.
“Not possible. Can you imagine how much my boss having a thing for me would complicate things?” I argue.
“Only if you don’t have a thing for him too.”
“I… don’t.”
“Beau.”
“I…” Have no good answer. Bellamy knows me too well, and I can’t deny what even a glance or grin from Arik does to me, let alone those kisses.
“Fine. I have a thing for him. But this is too messy to pursue. He’s my boss.
I look after his son. We can’t casually fool around, and if we try for something more than that and it blows up, we’re screwed.
And not in the good way!” I hiss before Bellamy can comment on that word choice.
“It isn’t worth it. I have to shut this down, keep things professional, and just—ow! ”
My hip hits the end table as I’m standing, shoving the sock and underwear into the sack I’ll be bringing to the laundry room, and something starts… buzzing? Without thinking, I yank open the top drawer.
Baby books. All the same ones I read months ago. The sight of them makes me smile. But they aren’t what’s buzzing.
I yank open the second drawer and find—
“Beau? You still there?”
Plugs.
Rings.
Dildos.
I slam the drawer shut again.
“Hello?”
I can’t think. But I can’t just leave the one I turned on to… vibrate. Arik will assume I did it. And I did!
I quickly reopen the drawer, find the button, turn it off—after going through five freaking settings of speed and intensity—and slam the drawer shut yet again.
“Beau—”
“I need to go.”
“But—”
“Later. Okay? Later.” I hang up, knowing full well Bellamy will call back tonight.
I have to nip this in the bud. Figuratively! But I have to.
I have to.
Or this crush might ruin me.
ARIK
I spooked him. I knew it was a gamble to kiss him like that, but seeing the panic on Beau’s face when his ex was on approach, how could I not help him give her the heart attack she deserved?
Clara surprised me with fatherhood, but I can’t imagine having been prepared and excited for it only to be gutted by the rug being pulled out from under me.
Beau also kissed me back.
Both times.
When he returns from using laundry as an excuse to avoid me—and his brother’s call being quite timely—he is even more red in the face than when we got back from the park.
Bastian is being fussy enough while eating, with Beau continuing to find excuses to avoid looking at me, that I don’t get the chance to confront him about what happened until it’s too late.
Bastian goes down for his nap—and I get a call that pulls me into work.
I am decidedly distracted, up alone in my office for hours, knowing the object of my growing obsession is fluttering around downstairs as a constant temptation. Beau is not straight, he is not immune to my advances, and while he might be trying to resist me, I don’t think I can resist anymore.
Calling Rowan or Sandra or Kevin or any number of other partners I keep on standby doesn’t carry the same appeal when a much more tantalizing option is living under my roof.
I can’t even quantify why Beau is so different from others I’ve been with.
Sure, he’s handsome and charming and intelligent.
He’s skilled but unassuming about his talents.
Down to earth enough to be a little awed by my wealth, yet he doesn’t let it intimidate him enough to treat me like I’m out of his league.
He also obviously isn’t turned off by me being a father. He is so good with Bastian that he feels like a natural fixture to the house, even only a month into our arrangement. No one has ever blown into my life like that and upset the balance in so short a time—other than Bastian himself.
It’s late by the time I extricate myself from my office. More of Gabby’s Thanksgiving leftovers are waiting for me in the fridge—including a final slice of pie with an added note from Beau:
For the PSL.
I eat before realizing how quiet the penthouse has become and venture cautiously into the nursery. I find Beau there, asleep in the rocker, with Bastian swaddled tight, dozing in his arms.