Chapter Nine

Laurie

stood outside the Rayne’s End theatre in East Hill. A thin December

sleet was falling. Already it had penetrated the jacket Sash had

loaned him, and he was cold.

He

didn’t really mind. He had just left a coffee shop up the road,

where Sasha had bought them both breakfast before heading off to

his shift at the car wash. Sasha had paid for their bus fares from

Birchwood and a copy of the Stage, which he had folded and

smilingly left by Laurie’s plate. He hadn’t leaned across the table

and kissed Laurie good-bye in the middle of the crowded café, but

the look he had left him with was somehow better yet. It had stayed

with him, as warm and real as the lingering soreness inside

him.

The

Rayne’s End Empire was a million miles away, in style and purpose,

from the plush little Twilight on the Strand. All he had wanted of

that place was a refuge, somewhere to be that wasn’t home. What he

wanted from the grim redbrick in front of him now was a job. The

chill sinking down into the bruised bones of his ribs and face was

a friend to him, repressing the jump of his nerves.

He’d

thought he had to apply, when he saw an advert in the paper for

auditions. Apply, fill in forms, supply full personal details, then

wait. The process had been so daunting—and, he now knew, his own

motivation so slight—that he’d never got further than putting a red

marker ring around the ad. He was still fairly sure that formal

application was the protocol, but he couldn’t wait.

He

tugged up the collar of Sasha’s coat, drawing comfort from the

scent of him. Then he climbed the concrete side steps that led to

the door marked AUDITIONS—just a sheet of A4 in a plastic folder,

felt-tip letters starting to blur in the damp—and pushed it open.

Beyond it lay a small office, empty at the moment, though he could

hear a buzz of conversation in the next room. Deciding to take his

chances as he found them, Laurie did not stop to find whoever was

meant to be fielding the candidates as they arrived. He padded

silently into the corridor and listened, taking stock.

If

Laurie knew nothing else, he knew theatres. The darkness that

descended on him as soon as he was well away from the outside world

was reassuring to him rather than disorienting. This corridor, with

its slow curve, must lead around the auditorium. Good. Offices

behind him, so stage to the front. A few steps into the half-light

confirmed it. Voices, one patiently reading and the other chiming

in for all it was worth. A little closer and Laurie could pick out

act, scene, and players. A pair of double doors was ahead of him,

their peculiar heaviness familiar to his hand. Accomplished at

opening and closing these in perfect silence, Laurie let himself

into the auditorium.

Seven young men of about his own age were gathered in the

fifth row back from the stage. An eighth was up there, making a

mess of Hamlet’s first dialogue encounter with poor bewildered

Ophelia. The reader, an unlikely maiden in his fifties, was doing

his best to prompt as well as provide Ophelia’s lines, but it was

plainly slow going, and Hamlet was starting to sweat. Laurie raised

an eyebrow. The weaknesses of others were not ordinarily pleasing

to him, but the moment might be opportune. He went and sat down,

very quietly, at the end of the fifth row. The boy in the seat next

to him gave him a polite, puzzled glance. Who are you? Laurie, who would

normally have told him, with full background and apologies, simply

flashed him a smile and settled to watch the performance as if he

owned the place, actors, furniture, and all.

Bristling, the other boy turned his attention back to the

stage, where the director was thanking the would-be Hamlet with a

don’t-call-us politeness Laurie knew well. He took his moment. The

stage assistant stood up, clipboard in hand, and gestured for the

next candidate. “That’s me,” Laurie said, getting calmly to his

feet. Peripherally he saw the young man on the far end of the row

turn a startled look on him, but he ignored it. “Laurence Fitzroy,

here for Hamlet or anyone else you need.”

The

director took the board from his assistant and ran his finger down

the page. “Well, we’re only casting Hamlet this afternoon, son,

and…” He paused, frowning. “Furthermore, I don’t have your name

here. Did you register?”

“No. I can do this play, any part, start to finish without

looking. You don’t even need to rehearse me. I’m here to save you

some time.”

That

last had possibly been a bit much. The director came to the edge of

the stage and raked a repressive gaze over Laurie and the other

hopefuls who were now gaping in outrage. “I see how you came by

those bruises,” he said conversationally. “Sorry, Mr. Fitzroy.

There’s a process, or you don’t step on this stage.”

Laurie

shrugged. “Okay. I can do it just as well down here.”

He

picked up from the point of the scene between Hamlet and Ophelia

where the other boy had trailed off. For his first few lines, he

made no shift of stance or expression, not even taking his hands

from his pockets, and he was vaguely aware of the assistant laying

her clipboard aside and vaulting down into the pit as if to meet

and restrain him bodily from the impromptu performance. Equally

calmly, he saw the director’s expression slowly change, saw him

gesture to the girl to wait.

A few

lines in, Laurie paused. The reader, off-kilter, frantically began

looking through his copy for Ophelia’s response, but Laurie lifted

a silencing hand to him. He left it a beat or two, then, once more

without movement or gesture, shifted roles. He could not have

explained how he did it if his life had depended on it. Rehearsing

dialogue in mirrors, he had seen that he still presented his

outward masculine self. And yet, as if by an effort to look through

shifting veils or water, a girl would be there too—or a woman, or a

man three times his age and weight, or whoever else was

required.

So Laurie became Ophelia. He folded up the fabric of Hamlet in

his mind, found its remembered connections and punched through it

to achieve coherent passage between parts. He became, in rapid

succession, Polonius, Gertrude, a frazzled combination

Rosencrantz-and-Guildenstern. Claudius was easy, the shambling and

lecherous old king a simple memory of his father, shining from his

flesh like a sickening beam. How like

Hyperion to a fucking satyr… He continued

until he was exhausted, and then he stopped.

The

director stood on the edge of the stage, hands on his hips, his

frown made terrible and comical at once by the upward-blazing

footlights. He waited for a while as if to be sure Laurie was quite

finished. Then he said, “I can’t decide if you’re a genius or a

freak. But either way, Mr. Fitzroy, you must apply. Actors need

discipline as well as talent.”

Laurie

nodded. He wholly agreed, and he could see that what he had done

wasn’t fair to the other boys waiting their chance. “I don’t have

time,” he said. “But thanks anyway.”

He got

as far as the aisle before the whispering began. The acoustics were

good, and theatrical people were rarely capable of holding a

discreet argument, even sotto voce. Still he knew his best bet was

to keep walking, and his hand was on the door when the assistant,

panting from her dash across the auditorium, ducked under his arm

to block his exit. “This casting’s to replace a dropout,” she said.

“We open in three nights’ time. Can you start

straightaway?”

“Yes. I’d have to.” Laurie looked past her shoulder to where

the director was studiously trying not to take an interest in the

outcome of the conversation. His projection was excellent too, and

he didn’t need to raise his voice. “I’d have to be paid in cash,

and I’d need the first week in advance.”

The

director’s head jerked up. “What?” he boomed. “Do you think we’re

running some sort of sweatshop here? National Insurance number and

Equity card, or the deal’s off.”

Laurie’s second retreat was as genuine as his first. He knew

he was good, but had no experience of his power to turn talent into

cash. To make people drop everything to get him. He made his way

out of the Rayne’s End Empire, head down, hands in his pockets,

because he knew another company in the area needed a Torvald for

their Doll’s House—a Dora too, and Laurie was prepared to give them either—and

after that he had a whole day’s worth of hunting mapped out, circle

after numbered circle in the Stage. He knew that getting knocked

back was part of the business, and that his list of demands

would—should, anyway—preclude him from almost everywhere. If all

else failed, he had made Sasha promise to help him find a niche in

the car-wash trade.

A faint

metallic rattle behind him. Halfway down the Empire’s steps, Laurie

glanced back. This time the poor assistant was struggling with the

heavy exterior doors. On an instinct less of hope than habitual

courtesy, Laurie turned around and went to pull one open for

her.

“Come back,” she said. “Come in.”

She led

him to an office off the reception hall, where a flurried-looking

woman in her fifties was sitting down behind a desk, putting on her

glasses and reaching for a file. A cash box was open at her elbow.

Laurie politely ignored this and sat down on the chair the

assistant pointed out to him. “Alison, are you sure about this?”

the woman asked. “It’s very irregular.”

“It’s a bloody outrage,” the assistant agreed. “But Mr. Jacobs

insists. He’s sent the other boys away.”

The

woman raised her eyebrows. “Oh, God. You’d better be good, son. And

watch your back on your way home.”

* *

*

Laurie

shook hands with Alison on the theatre steps. The rain had stopped,

and a dull silver sunlight was struggling through the overcast. He

had a hundred pounds in cash in his coat’s inner pocket, carefully

zipped up. Laurie had been known to go out partying with that much

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