Chapter Fourteen Maya
Chapter Fourteen
Maya
Emily stopped me in the hallway outside Bettie’s room, her hands resting on my shoulders, a look of concern on her face as she said, “Are you okay?”
I was holding Bettie’s cup of meds, and even the thin, flimsy plastic felt heavy in my hand. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” She pushed back several strands of wet hair that had fallen from my messy bun. “And you didn’t look fine when you returned from your run this morning. You looked like you saw a cat get run over.”
I closed my eyes, remembering how I’d felt a few hours ago during my talk with Jordan—if I could even call it that, since there wasn’t a whole lot of talking that had gone down between us.
There was me throwing my hurt in his face and him apologizing and telling me that he’d offered me more than anyone—a weak attempt at making me feel better.
And before he could add any more weightless words, I took off.
I opened my eyes and said, “I—” before my voice cut off when the call light above Bettie’s door turned on. I rushed inside, assessing her. “Is everything all right?”
“I’m cramping so badly.” She wiggled in bed, the pain audible in her breathing and evident in her expression. “One after another. They won’t stop.”
“Which leg?”
“My good one.”
“That makes things much easier.” I set her meds on the tray and moved to the end of her bed, slipping my hand under the sheet and blanket to hold her foot.
“I’m going to raise your leg a tiny bit.
” Emily joined us and was rubbing the top of Bettie’s thigh, keeping it stable so when I lifted her heel, it wouldn’t cause Bettie’s posture to shift.
I pulled at the bottom of her foot, pointing it upward, and did the same with her toes to help relieve the tightness in her calf.
She shuddered out a breath. “Finally. That feels much better.”
“One of the side effects of the medication you’re on is cramping. I’m going to bring you some Gatorade. That should help.” Once I was sure the pain was completely gone, I carefully set her leg down and fixed the sheet and blanket so they properly covered her. “I’ll be right back.”
“Hold on a second, missy. I think you owe me some photos from the game. How was it?” She glanced between Emily and me. “Did you gals have a blast?”
I could feel Emily staring at me as I said, “It was amazing.” I took my phone out of my scrubs pocket and pulled up the photos, holding the screen in front of Bettie so she could see them while I flipped through each shot.
“Thank you again, Bettie. It was so generous of you to give us your tickets. I assume the money that was slipped into my scrubs was from you?”
She glanced up at me, hiding a smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you don’t.” I grinned back. “That was too much, and you didn’t have to.”
“But we appreciated it,” Emily added.
Bettie, still looking at me, said, “You know, those pictures are fantastic, and it looks like you kids had loads of fun, but one thing is missing from them.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
Bettie gazed at Emily. “Maya is missing her smile. Tell me what’s wrong with her, since I know Maya won’t.”
Emily laughed. “Oh, Maya, Bettie has you pegged.” She blinked heavily at me. “She can see right through you, babe.”
My phone vibrated in my palm.
Jordan: We need to talk.
Of course you would say that.
I dropped the phone back in my pocket and groaned. “Bettie, are you sure you want to hear the drama dump I’m about to unload?”
“Honey, aside from going to PT, I haven’t left this room in days. Entertain me. Please.”
Did I really want to get into this? Did I want to bore Bettie to death with the ridiculousness of my life? Talking it out wasn’t going to make me feel better, since admitting my feelings wouldn’t change who he was.
But I could feel their stares penetrating through me, waiting, so I took a deep breath and said, “Do you remember the guy we talked about? The one I’ve been seeing?”
“The one she’s in love with,” Emily added.
“Emily!”
My best friend rolled her eyes at me.
“The hockey player,” Bettie said. “Yes, I remember.”
I glanced at the floor, ignoring the vibration that was coming from my pocket.
“Turns out, he did more than just play a lot of hockey. He was in the NHL, he played for New York, and at last night’s game, I learned he’s one of the owners of the Bears.
” My heart was sinking further into my body, the ache like a hundred-pound dumbbell resting in the middle of my chest. “Jordan Worthington is his name. Maybe you’ve heard of him, since you have season tickets.
” She didn’t respond. “Anyway, the whole time we were dating—or whatever it was that we were doing—he never told me who he was. I knew his first name, not his last name. I knew he played hockey, but not for the NHL. And I got the sense that he was successful, but certainly not a billionaire—at least, according to Google, that’s what he’s worth. ”
Bettie sat up a little higher, wincing as she moved her legs. “Are you saying he lied to you?”
“By not telling me, that’s lying. He had his reasons, I suppose, but that’s not good enough. If you’re spending that kind of time with someone, I believe you should be up front about who you are.”
The ironic part about this was that he felt comfortable enough to not wear a condom with me, but not comfortable enough to tell me who he was. That made zero sense in my head.
“You said he had his reasons,” Bettie said. “Let me ask you this: Was it because he was afraid if he was honest, he would lose you?”
I nodded.
Bettie sighed. “Men haven’t changed at all since I was your age. I’m sorry this happened, Maya. I could tell you really liked him.”
“She’s a hot mess over it, Bettie.”
Bettie nodded at Emily. “I can see that. But maybe his indiscretions are something you can overlook? And possibly reconsider?”
This went deeper than his lies.
But I wasn’t going to get into that. Not with Bettie. She was a patient, and I’d already given her more information about my personal life than I probably should.
So instead of going there, I attempted to back up my decision and said, “You know, if a doctor withheld information from a patient, the ramifications could be deadly. It could change the entire course of treatment and the patient’s will to live.
” I shifted my weight. “I don’t believe communication between a man and a woman should be any different.
I’ve dated my fair share of jerks. I’ve been cheated on.
I’ve made horrible decisions when it came to men, and I don’t want that anymore. I want someone who respects me.”
“And you believe he doesn’t?” Bettie’s voice was soft and nonjudgmental.
Emily pulled up a chair and sat next to Bettie and said to her, “We’re so on the same page.”
Bettie patted Emily’s arm. “I just saw how happy she was when she spoke about him, that’s all.”
“That makes two of us, Bettie,” Emily replied.
I let out a long, pent-up breath. “What am I going to do with the both of you?”
“It’s more like, what are we going to do with you?
” Emily countered—a confusing statement, considering she knew the layers to this where Bettie didn’t.
“We understand why you’re upset. We understand that he didn’t necessarily do the right thing when it came to being up front about his identity”—she looked at Bettie, who nodded—“we just don’t want you to give up an opportunity with someone who could be really wonderful, and he just happened to make a few bad choices.
But they were choices he thought were needed at the time. ”
There was another vibration in my pocket.
“What if he’s unlike any of the men you’ve dated in the past and happens to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you?” Bettie asked before taking a sip of her water.
“What if he isn’t?” I whispered. I didn’t know why, but I felt the need to back that up so she could understand where I was coming from.
“I live a very simple life, Bettie. I have three roommates—one is Emily. I work, I pay rent, I help out my mom, I drink cheap beer, and I have far more nursing scrubs than everyday clothes. Jordan is from a world I don’t understand, can’t relate to, or even wrap my head around. ”
“Did you ever consider that he feels the same way about you? And that’s why he didn’t say anything?” Bettie paused. “That his life is far from simple, and knowing how you are, he wanted to tread very carefully and discover the best way to handle this?”
I smiled. “No . . . and yes.”
“Which means no,” Emily offered.
“My dear, when men are successful, when they have what he has, they have a hard time trusting because they don’t know if the woman is there out of love or money.
If I were to guess, Jordan’s never been with a woman who didn’t know how wealthy he was.
Who looked at him like he was just a simple man, not an NHL player or a billionaire.
Maybe for him, that was a relief. Maybe he wanted to enjoy those moments for as long as he could. ”
“Bettie, you’re a genius,” Emily said.
“I’ve known my fair share of wealthy men,” Bettie admitted.
“I know how they operate. I know their mindset. And I know the smile you’ve been wearing on your face, because up until I lost my Ernie, I wore the same one.
Which tells me Jordan has made you feel a multitude of emotions, and I’m sure he’s feeling the same ones. ”
My phone vibrated again.
“He’s been reaching out,” I told her.
“Have you spoken to him?” Bettie asked.
I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. “Not since this morning.”
“Do you plan to?” Emily questioned.
No.
Yes.
I don’t know.
I wasn’t prepared for any of this to happen—for Jordan to come into my life, for me to have these feelings so quickly, for him to be a Worthington.
“I’m going to take today to breathe and see how I feel in the morning after I’ve gotten some actual sleep, hoping this all settles in my head.”
“Not a bad idea,” Bettie said.
“Maybe when I wake up, it’ll all make sense. Or maybe it won’t.”
Maybe I could somehow forgive him, or maybe I couldn’t.
The latter was what I feared.
“You’re a smart cookie, Maya,” Bettie said. “I don’t doubt you’ll know exactly what to do in the morning.”
My eyes narrowed as I looked at the beautiful woman lying in the bed. “I’d say you’re a pretty smart cookie, too, Bettie—and you certainly did something right in your life if you have hockey seats like those.”
“My Ernie loved hockey. He never wanted to miss a game. I still go on occasion, it’s just not the same without him.”
Emily rubbed Bettie’s hand. “You miss him.”
“More than words can even say.”
I let a few seconds of silence pass before I said, “I’m going to grab you some Gatorade, Bettie, and then I’ll be back to go over your meds.
” She gave me a slight nod, and Emily followed me into the hallway.
I waited until we were several rooms away before I turned to her.
“There’s one major problem—one that Bettie doesn’t know about.
But you do, and you’re not factoring that into this. ”
She linked her fingers with mine as we faced one another. “I know.”
“I can’t”—I held in my breath as a wave of emotion passed through me—“I can’t let it go, Em. I can’t change who he is. I can’t see past it.”
Her head tilted to the side as she took in my face. “Oh, babe, I wish you could.”