Chapter Sixteen Maya
Chapter Sixteen
Maya
Jordan: I’m headed out for a run. I hope I see you.
I stared at Jordan’s message as I walked through my apartment, finishing the piece of toast I’d made a few minutes ago.
This time yesterday morning, I’d confronted him, and by the afternoon, after he’d sent a surprising amount of texts, I’d told him I needed time.
But that hadn’t stopped him from sending me another message, or the one this morning.
The man didn’t give up.
Neither did I.
I’d spent half the night combing through articles of him on the internet, sleep the furthest thing from my mind.
When I typed in his name, there were over sixty-eight pages of results on Google, a heavy mix of his hockey career, which he’d retired from two years ago, and the time he’d spent working for his father.
There were also images—not any that he’d posted.
His social media was bland at best, probably managed by someone at his office.
He didn’t respond to comments, tags went unshared and unliked.
But the press loved to post pictures of him, and I toggled between social media and online resources to view them.
Jordan in his hockey uniform.
Jordan on the beach with a mystery woman.
Jordan walking out of a bar in Manhattan.
There was no shortage of shots, and they proved just the kind of life this man lived. One that had no boundaries. That was full of travel and adventure and a multitude of beautiful women.
But what made this even more interesting was that, during my research, I couldn’t find a single article or mention of a relationship.
He was never pictured with the same woman twice.
And whenever any of the women he’d been photographed with were asked if she was dating Jordan, she would deny it, and they would never be seen together again.
Which meant everything he’d told me—that he offered me more than anyone else—was true.
But what made me different?
What made him want to change his ways?
Why me?
A mile into my run, and I still didn’t have those answers.
I couldn’t make sense of them. But what was strange was that I’d gone a different route this morning so I wouldn’t run into him, and I found myself back in my old neighborhood, in front of one of the first apartment buildings my mom and I had ever called home.
We were evicted from most of the places we’d lived due to being behind on rent and Mom not being able to catch up.
Not this one.
This was where we’d lived the longest, and we’d been kicked out because they were converting the building into luxury condos.
We weren’t given that much time to vacate, and we couldn’t afford a moving company or a storage unit.
So we took what we could fit in our suitcases and backpacks and left the rest of our belongings behind, and we moved into a hotel that allowed weekly rentals.
I’d never felt more at home than in that apartment.
I’d never felt as uneasy and unrested as I did in that hotel.
So many memories.
Good ones too.
Just as I was about to start my run again, I noticed that the building next door was in the middle of a renovation, and it looked vacant. It had been a hotel when I lived beside it. Not a nice one, yet Mom still couldn’t afford to move us in there when we had to leave the apartment.
The hotel branding was now gone, the exterior getting completely remodeled, and there was a sign by the entrance.
Luxury Condos Coming Soon!
Mid-$2M Range
Project by: Worthington Enterprises
A vibration came through my watch, and I looked at the screen.
Jordan: I hate running without you.
My God.
Even when I wanted a break, I couldn’t have one.
“How are the cramps today?” I asked Bettie as I stood next to her bed, fixing the pillow behind her and then the one under her knees.
“Since you brought me the Gatorade, I haven’t had any.” She always wore a deep-burgundy shade of lipstick, even though it bled into the lines that surrounded her mouth. I never saw her without it. “You’re a miracle worker.”
I smiled. “I don’t know about that, but I’m happy to hear you’re cramp-free.”
“And you?”
My smile turned into a laugh. “What about me?”
“You wanted to sleep on your thoughts. Any revelations when you woke up this morning?”
I heard myself sigh, but I hadn’t consciously filled my lungs and released the air. “Life isn’t easy, Bettie.”
“Take it from someone who knows—it only gets harder. At your age, you think that when you retire and things calm down professionally, life will suddenly be bliss. But then a whole new set of stress arises. The most important thing is your happiness. If you don’t have that, you have nothing.”
I filled her water glass and handed it to her, knowing from her output numbers that she wasn’t drinking enough.
“When I was a kid, I would constantly ask myself if things would ever get better. I used to dream about the days when there wouldn’t be a worry, when my mom and I could enjoy life without stressing. ”
“Did that day ever happen?”
I shook my head. “There was always worry and there was always stress.”
“But was there happiness?”
“Moments of it, yes. She never shielded me from the hard times. Maybe she was trying to prep me for adulthood, or maybe she just wasn’t capable of putting on a mask.”
“Or maybe she knew you’d see right through it.”
“Or that.” I slid my hands into the pockets of my scrubs. “It was hard then, Bettie. It’s hard now for an entirely different reason. Weirdly, at the moment, those two periods of my life seem to be overlapping.”
She wiped the corners of her mouth. “You’ve only been my nurse for a couple of weeks, and I don’t see you every day, but I have to say that despite it being hard, I knew you were happy.
I could feel it. And when you talked about him, my gosh, you glowed.
” She set her hand on her lap, the back covered in deep-purple bruises.
Senile purpura was a condition that most of my patients in Bettie’s age range had.
“And that’s coming from a semi-stranger who was merely just observing.
I bet Emily could go into much more detail than me. ”
“You know . . . it was probably the happiest I’ve been in a very long time.”
“And now?”
It would be so easy to purge my history to this woman. She was that comfortable to talk to. But Emily gave me enough support, I didn’t need more.
“Now—” I started, before getting cut off by my phone ringing, which came through as bursts of vibration. I took out my cell and looked at the screen. “I’m mourning that happiness and emotionally overwhelmed,” I said softly. “I have to take this call. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
I stepped into the hallway, swiping my finger to accept the call, and held the phone to my ear. “Hi, Mom.”
“Honey . . .”
“What’s wrong?” I looked at my watch, knowing the answer to that question before she answered. Not only was it her tone that gave it away but also the time she was calling.
“I was fired.”
My eyes closed and I nodded. “I know.”
“Cell phone bill, credit card bill—they’re both due in a week.”
I leaned against the wall, grateful it was there. “I’ll deposit some money into your account so you can pay them.”
“Are you sure? You just paid the first month’s rent and the security deposit for my apartment. I can’t ask you for more money.”
There was a vibration against my ear, and I pulled the phone away to look at the screen.
Jordan: I can’t stop thinking about you. How I fucked up. Please talk to me, Maya.
When I filled my lungs this time, I heard myself release it. And I felt it. “Yes, Mom, I’m sure.”
Jordan: Another run where you were missed.
Jordan: Talk to me, Maya. This is fucking excruciating.
Me: I told you, I need time.
Jordan: Time for what?
Me: If you think this is easy on me, it’s not. Jordan, my head is a mess right now.
Jordan: Let’s talk it out.
Me: That’s the last thing I need.
Jordan: But it’s everything you need. Trust me.
Me: I did that . . . and you lied to me.
Jordan: Come over.
Me: No.
Jordan: Then answer your phone, I’m calling you.
Me: Hard no.
Jordan: Maya, please.