28. Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Eight
Lennon
T he first half of Thanksgiving day proved to be far better than I expected.
My mom is suddenly very fond of Noah because he chose to help her cook, though I’m not sure if it was something he was truly interested in, or if he just wanted to impress her.
As for my father, Noah seemed to charm him, too. Playing a game of basketball out in the driveway, and narrowly missing our rental car multiple times.
I’m thankful we got the extra insurance.
“I’d like you to know, I played a large role in preparing this Thanksgiving meal,” Noah says as he sidles up beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to his side. “Emphasis on large.”
I fight the smile that threatens to break free. “Are we still talking about your cooking skills?”
He laughs, the sound warming my chest. “Absolutely not.”
“Well,” my mom starts, popping her head into the living room. “Everything is set up. We might as well eat.”
I look at Noah, brows raised. “Might as well,” I repeat as we make our way into the dining room.
Pleasant conversation fills the space, and for a moment, I almost think we are going to get away with a nice trip. Noah’s presence grounds me as my dad talks about his business endeavors, complimenting Lorelei on the new award she earned at work.
“So,” my dad starts, poking at the stuffing on his plate. “How long have you and Noah been dating?” he asks, and I straighten in my chair.
Noah catches the shift–the way my emotions seem to shut off, and he grabs the leg of my chair, dragging it across the floor until I’m even closer to where he’s sitting. It thaws some of the icy tension I’m feeling–just slightly.
“Officially?” I question, cutting into a piece of ham with the side of my fork. “It’s fairly new.”
Noah takes a sip of water, placing an arm around the back of my chair. “I’ve been helping out with the bed-and-breakfast,” he says, inserting himself into the conversation. “Well, I’ve been helping with the renovations. Things are looking really great.”
“Oh,” my dad says, somewhat surprised. “Do you work in contracting?”
“He’s an English professor,” I say before taking a bite full of food.
My mom sits quietly at the other end of the table while Devon and Lorelei chat in their own personal bubble.
“You’re not a contractor?” My dad’s brows furrow as all of his attention shifts to Noah. I hate when he does that. Something about having Ian Yarrow’s undivided attention draws up unpleasant feelings. It puts me on guard, and if that’s happening with Noah, he doesn’t show it.
“I’m not,” Noah confirms.
“But you have experience with renovations?”
“I don’t.”
My father hums, the sound leaking judgment as he looks back down at his meal.
“The internet is a great educational resource,” Noah jokes. “I have since graduated from Google University after learning how to fix a toilet with at least three separate videos.”
I chuckle, and so does Mom, but my dad remains stoic–unamused.
My food sits like lead in my stomach when my dad’s sharp gaze flicks to me. “I am not sure how you can have a serious business if you’re relying on your boyfriend to get most of this work done, Lennon.”
I brush it off, shutting down the racing thoughts in my head. The best way to handle feelings of inadequacy is to pretend they don’t exist. My dad was just complimenting Lorelei on her reward, and now he’s critiquing my business over dinner.
I can’t say I’m surprised.
“To be fair,” I start. “He wasn’t my boyfriend when he started helping.”
“Then how did you convince him to become your contractor?” My dad laughs, but the sound is hollow–filled with all the emptiness of whatever he wanted me to become–the thing I didn’t achieve.
“I–”
Noah speaks up, his arm still around the back of my chair, his thumb brushing over my shoulder. “Painted the cabinets in the kitchen last week. They’re looking really good. Lennon has talked about making the farmhouse feel cozy–really providing a unique experience with guests.”
I lean back into him, thankful for the intercession.
“Huh?” My dad starts. “I really think you could have found a house elsewhere. Ohio doesn’t seem like the state people go to have unique experiences. A larger tourist destination would have brought in more capital–proven you were really serious about this business supporting your financial goals.”
Fuck if he knows anything about my financial goals.
“I am serious. And Ohio is fine.” I can feel the walls closing in, suffocating any part of myself–my core that remains. If I can’t change the way he sees me–if everything I’ve done isn’t proof enough, then I might as well be whatever it is he’s picturing.
“I hear Ohio is getting a lot of attention,” Noah chimes in, his tone lighthearted–directly contrasting the feel of the room. “Kid’s slang terms are really making the place a popular destination for all.”
“That’s not a reason to open a bed-and-breakfast there.”
My mom, for what it’s worth, rolls her eyes. Leaning toward Lorelei to say something I don’t quite catch.
I can see the crease form between Noah’s brows as if he’s trying to find the right button to push to switch my dad’s distaste for approval. Unfortunately for him, I know that button doesn’t exist.
“Personally,” Noah starts. “I’ve seen everything she’s poured into this. I’m looking forward to seeing the business's success.”
Devon chimes in, and I hate how childish it makes me feel. He’s been around for a long while–knows too much. So much, that I sometimes feel like I’m under a microscope when I’m here.
“Lennon’s never been known for pouring herself into much of anything.” He laughs, and the sound stings. “Did you know she failed algebra two her sophomore year of high school? Didn’t like the teacher, so she didn’t apply herself.”
My family chuckles like Devon has made an appropriate joke–one that doesn’t tear me down to get a laugh. Or maybe that’s the part that makes it funny. I don’t know.
Noah doesn’t balk at the challenge. “Seems like a good enough reason to me. I teach college students for a living. I’m sure they’d fail, too, if I wasn’t engaging enough. It’s an important part of the job.”
“It was selfish,” my dad says, and I tense at the word, hating the way it slices through me like a knife. “Destroyed her GPA right before her junior year. One of the reasons, I believe, she didn’t get into the school where Lorelei attended.” I shrink back because it’s true. I did fail and got the college rejection. It would have been nice to have some empathy, but I’ve long since passed the hope of that from my father. “Had to go to the middle of nowhere Ohio for a business degree.”
“Ian, that’s enough.” My mom’s voice chimes in from the other side of the table as I take another bite of food. There’s no sense in arguing. I’m just hoping the silence will trigger a shift in topic.
Noah, apparently, doesn’t feel the same. “Pretty shitty to heavily critique your own daughter at the dinner table during a holiday, isn’t it?” His tone has hardened, and I hate it because I see them turning him into the monster they created in me. “Especially in front of her boyfriend.”
“How long have you been around again?” my dad asks, rising to the challenge. “She hasn’t entertained anyone for very long.”
Noah almost stands, his chair screeching across the floor before I grab his hand, forcing him to remain seated.
My dad scoffs. “Keeping real winners around, Lennon.”
The table is quiet, nobody moving as I stare down the barrel of my father’s gun.
Whatever he says, no matter how small, seems to hurt worse. I’ve always thought of myself as someone with thick skin, but here?
“Not that you’d care about me and my frivolous dreams,” I mutter as my fork scratches across my plate.
“You’ll grow out of it.”
My anger swells, rising until I feel like I’m about to erupt. “I bought an entire house on my own at twenty-six. I’ve managed to figure out the business side of things. We should open next summer.”
“And you’re using your inexperienced boyfriend as a contractor. Honestly, Son, how much was she even paying you before you started dating?”
It’s my turn to stand. “Not paying him,” I say, my entire body shaking. “I just have to fuck him, and he helps paint some cabinets.”
I don’t turn around and walk out of the dining room to run up the stairs. Noah following after.