Chapter 12 #2
Mr. Shelley did not look either of us in the eye. Indeed, he cleared his throat and stared at the floor before answering.
“This is very difficult to say, but Lord Gotthurst . . . His mother wishes him to marry a lady of fortune. It is not his fault. He had every intention . . . But his mother disapproved and even threatened to make his life miserable if he did not marry according to her instruction. She is a very proud woman. Forgive me, but I thought you deserved to know. Lord Gotthurst had been determined to make you his wife.”
“That is horrid.” Juliet forced out a breath and clenched her fists. “How could anyone be so cruel? Well, I hope he marries a woman as proud and insufferable as his mother, and she plagues his heart out, him and his mother. I hope he—”
“Juliet, no, it’s all right. I don’t think ill of him. He cannot go against his mother’s wishes.” I tried to smile, but my lips trembled, so I fell silent and concentrated on not crying.
“He doesn’t deserve someone as good and kind as Amelia.” Juliet was furious. I could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice. But I just wanted to disappear. Would it be too rude to excuse myself and go to my room?
“Please forgive me for being the one to tell you.” Mr. Shelley did truly look miserable, though not as miserable as I felt. Thankfully, he stood and took his leave of us.
“Juliet is right,” Jeremy said. “He doesn’t deserve you if he allows his mother to dissuade him.”
I looked into his eyes, and thinking I saw compassion in them, the tears began to flow.
“Excuse me.” I hurried from the room. By the time I reached my room and pressed my face into my pillow, I was sobbing.
Had Lord Gotthurst loved me if he could give me up so easily? But I didn’t want to judge him. I knew it would be difficult for him to marry against his mother’s wishes. But why hadn’t he fought for me? Was I not worth at least introducing to his mother in an effort to get her to accept me?
I remembered Jeremy’s words, that he didn’t deserve me if he could be dissuaded so quickly.
His words were both uplifting and humiliating, to receive such “comforting” words from Jeremy Beaumont—who had likely assumed I was only after Lord Gotthurst for his money, since I couldn’t manage to get him.
I was still crying when Juliet burst into the room and put her hand on my shoulder.
“I don’t blame you for being upset. But there are plenty of other gentlemen in London, more noble ones whose mothers aren’t so proud and insufferable.
If she had only met you, she would see what a wonderful person you are.
But we shall not care a whit, and the next time I see that Lord Gotthurst, I shall snub him with all my might.
I shall insult him and tell him what a cad he is. ”
“No, please, I don’t want you to do that,” I said, sitting up and wiping my face with a handkerchief. “He needs to keep on good terms with his mother, after all. I am not angry with him.”
“You are too good, Amelia.”
“I am not so good. I’m hurt and embarrassed, but I know I must forgive him or I will never be able to . . . find the man I’m meant to marry.”
“That is very wise. And this is what we’re going to do.
We will go to Lady Blackmoor’s ball next week, and we will be the most beautiful, flirtatious two ladies there.
We shall be proper, but we shall use every trick I’ve ever seen.
We will drop our handkerchief just to make a gentleman pick it up for us.
We will flutter our eyes and pretend we feel faint so a gentleman must lead us to the balcony to get some air.
We will smile and compliment every handsome, eligible gentleman in the room.
We will dance every dance and have every gentleman there thinking they are in love with us.
If we don’t have a dozen men calling on us the next day, then I will not be satisfied. ”
I actually smiled at all Juliet’s declarations.
“And if you don’t return to Buckinghamshire with multiple marriage proposals, I shall not believe it.”
“Juliet.” I laughed.
“There, that’s what I want to see. I want you to be laughing and confident, for you shall be the prettiest girl in the room. No one will be able to take his eyes off you.”
Juliet hired a woman, Madame Leonora, that she had heard could give beauty treatments that would transform a woman’s face and make her look like a glowing porcelain doll.
Madame Leonora set about making us both beautiful.
For the next few days, she soaked our skin first in rosewater and then in milk.
She gave us a concoction of beeswax and almond oil to apply to our faces at night.
She gave us chamomile, rosemary, and lavender tea to drink.
She also scrubbed our faces with a mixture of milk and crushed oatmeal, then applied the beeswax and almond oil again.
Lastly, she applied rice powder to our faces, decolletage, shoulders, and arms. We had to lie still so long that my whole body started to itch. I had such a tickle on the end of my nose, I just had to scratch it.
“Stop! Don’t move!” Madame Leonora cried out.
I froze and stayed still for another half hour, until she finally allowed us to wash.
After three days of this, Juliet exclaimed, “You look radiant, Amelia! So beautiful. Your skin truly is like porcelain.”
When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t see anything but the same me, although perhaps my face did look a bit more even toned.
And I did think Juliet looked prettier than usual.
Her skin was also a bit more even and smooth, with fewer blemishes, and her cheeks almost glowed with a brightness she didn’t have before.
Even if the benefits were just my imagination, it did feel good to be plied and pampered with all kinds of beauty treatments, listening to Madame Leonora’s lilting accent, telling us how beautiful we were and assuring us we would be irresistible.
It enabled me to wait until we went to bed to cry.
But when I would hear Juliet’s deep, even breathing signaling that she was asleep, my tears would flow, wetting my hair and my pillow, and probably undoing some of Madame Leonora’s beauty treatments, as I dwelt on how homesick I was and how hurt I felt at Lord Gotthurst’s rejection of me.