Chapter 16
“You should never burn a bridge, my mother always said.” Mrs. Kendall was wringing her hands and pacing back and forth across the sitting room. “Are you sure you refused him? You could take it back. Write him a letter telling him you’re sorry . . . No, that would not be good.”
And I wouldn’t have done it anyway, for I wasn’t sorry.
How could I marry a man whose attitude was like that of a child?
Why had he asked me to marry him anyway?
He hadn’t said a word about love, and yet he was angry that I refused his proposal.
If he’d loved me, wouldn’t he have been sad rather than angry?
But my heart sank when I thought about Mrs. Kendall telling my mother about this. How selfish I must seem. Mr. Harper was rich and young and handsome, and he could have helped my brothers and sisters, just in the fact that he was my husband, to make equally good matches. Oh, Mama, I’m so sorry.
I felt guilty, and yet how could I have answered him any other way?
“Are you listening?” Mrs. Kendall said.
“Forgive me.”
“I said, I think you should write him a letter, apologizing. Say you were confused but you realize you made a mistake.”
“No, I cannot do that, for it was not a mistake.”
Mrs. Kendall sighed heavily. “Very well. Perhaps it will all turn out for the best.” But she did not sound as if she thought so.
We sat in silence for a while, with Algernon passing through, telling his mother he was going out to the club.
“Very good. Will you be home for dinner?”
“No, I don’t expect so,” he said, and went down the hall.
A few moments later, Mrs. Kendall said in a whisper, “Is the reason you refused Mr. Harper because you are in love with Algernon? For if you are, I do think he could be persuaded to marry you.”
“Oh no.” I tried not to look too horrified. “No, I’m not in love with Algernon, but thank you for thinking he might marry me.” I tried to look gracious.
“Well, now, you could do worse than Algie. He will have a good income when his father and I are gone, and his wife would be well set up.”
“I do not doubt it. I am sure he will make some woman very happy, but . . .”
“Say no more. I only thought I would mention it.”
“Of course. I am grateful. And I am sorry. I hope you do not think badly of me for refusing Mr. Harper. I . . . I just couldn’t have been happy with him.”
“Do not fret, my dear. You are doing very well for your first Season, I daresay, and you will find your match yet. We have several more weeks. We shall just go to balls and assemblies and see what we may see. I know many more people, gentlemen you have not yet met.
“There are balls nearly every night this week, and we shall attend them all,” Mrs. Kendall went on.
“On the nights that there are no balls, we shall go to a concert, or I shall host a dinner here. I have a few favors I can ask, introductions that can be made to eligible young gentlemen. Yes, there is much more we can do. Hope is not lost yet, my dear.”
“You are very kind, Aunt. I thank you.” Indeed, I could hardly have asked for a better ally in finding a husband.
I felt such a swell of gratitude toward her.
But my time was growing short, the time and opportunity, at least for this Season, to gratify my aunt’s wish and honor her efforts.
Not to mention my siblings, who would need every connection they could claim.
I didn’t want to fail them.
In the coming days, my aunt made good on her word; she took me to a ball every night, at many of which I knew very few people, if anyone.
Juliet and I took a walk together almost every day and were able to hear each other’s news. She was expecting a visit in two days from a friend, and therefore I’d see less of her in the coming weeks, though she promised she would not neglect me.
I saw her and Jeremy at a few of the balls. He always danced with me once, and I was always glad to see them both.
Exactly a fortnight after I had refused Mr. Harper, a letter came for Mrs. Kendall while we were sitting together.
While she was reading it, she gasped and said, “My dear, listen to this. My friend, Mrs. Selkirk, who lives near Mr. Harper’s estate, has just written me to say that Mr. Harper’s father is quite angry with him, for he has just learned that Mr. Harper mistreated a young lady—her father was a clergyman, their rector, in fact, but died some years ago, and now his family is living in severely reduced means.
Mr. Harper has defrauded her, got her with child, and abandoned her.
The child has just been born, and when the young lady revealed that Mr. Harper was the father, he did not deny it, but he flatly refused to marry her.
Can you believe it? I never would have believed him capable of such a thing.
But you, my dear, you must have sensed something about him that I did not.
Well done, my dear, well done. You have escaped this scandal, and much more, I daresay, for a man who will do this in his youth will do it in his older years, I always say. It is in them to do it, some men.”
Jeremy Beaumont had warned me that Mr. Harper’s character was likely not what he portrayed himself to be.
Mrs. Kendall went on talking, telling me details that Mrs. Selkirk had written in her letter, but I was hardly listening.
Thank you, thank you, God, that I did not say yes to his proposal.
Oh, I could have ended the engagement, but it might have been difficult and might have damaged my reputation; it certainly would not have done it any good.
Now that I thought about it, perhaps he had been rushing to ask me to marry him, hoping it might help smooth over things with his father, or that it might lessen the scandal somehow. I was more convinced than ever, though, that he hadn’t loved me. Was such a man even capable of love?
I felt as if I’d had a narrow escape, and I thanked God again.
A caller arrived. It was Jeremy Beaumont.
The servant showed him in.
“Mr. Beaumont,” Mrs. Kendall exclaimed. “How good of you to call on us. You are looking very well. How is your sister?”
“She is very well. She is enjoying a visit from a childhood friend,” Jeremy said. He looked at me, and my heart flipped.
“Is Juliet well?”
“Yes, very well. She said to give you her love and that she will visit you tomorrow or the next day. Her friend isn’t staying long. I believe she is going home in three days.”
After a brief pause, Mrs. Kendall said, “I try not to be one who spreads gossip, but I believe you were right, Mr. Beaumont.”
“Oh?”
“Did you not tell Amelia that you had heard a rumor about Mr. Harper and that she probably should not trust his character? Well, I have just now, today, received a letter from my friend, Mrs. Selkirk, informing me that Mr. Harper—” she lowered her voice.
“—that Mr. Harper has fathered a child with a young lady that he refuses to marry. Well, I for one am glad I have a niece who is wise enough to see through a reprobate young man such as Mr. Harper.”
Jeremy looked at me, a gentle expression on his face.
Just then, Algernon came into the room, greeted Jeremy, then began to speak to his mother. While he did so, Jeremy moved to the chair closer to mine.
“I hope you were not injured by what you learned about Mr. Harper.”
“Not at all.”
“I am a bit surprised.”
“Did Juliet not tell you that he asked me to marry him and I said no?”
“No, she did not.”
“Yes, it was a fortnight ago.”
“I see.”
I had a thought. I hesitated to speak, but as Algernon was still speaking to his mother, I said quietly, “Did you come here to tell me the news about Mr. Harper, that he fathered a child?”
Jeremy cleared his throat. “I was concerned about you.”
“I thank you for your concern.”
“May I ask why you refused him?”
I probably should take it amiss that he was asking me such a personal question. It was none of his business, after all. But instead, I felt myself wanting to tell him everything.
“At first I told him I would give him an answer later, but by the way he reacted with anger to that answer, I knew I did not wish to marry him, and I changed my answer to no.”
“Your aunt is right, then. You are wise.”
“Does that surprise you?” My challenging tone was intentional.
“No, it does not surprise me.” His tone was a bit defensive.
Just then, Algernon bid us a good day, as he was leaving “on some business.”
When he was gone, Mrs. Kendall said, “I congratulated my niece on her escape from such a man. To think that he was mingling with our dear, innocent young ladies, in good society, where one does not expect to encounter such immoral creatures. I am so glad there are still some good, upstanding gentlemen like you, Mr. Beaumont, and my own Algernon.”
Mrs. Kendall went on about the morals of young people today, while I marveled at Jeremy Beaumont calling on me.
Perhaps he was simply concerned about me, as he said, and wanted to make sure his sister’s friend was fully informed about her suitor’s moral character.
Perhaps that was all it was and I should not speculate further.
Soon Jeremy Beaumont took his leave and was gone, saying he would see me at Lady Everson’s ball in two days. “Juliet should be there as well,” he said.
“Oh, very good. I miss her very much.”
“She misses you as well, as she tells me multiple times a day.” He smiled as he said this. He did have a handsome smile.