Chapter 24
Jeremy was packing his bags when the servant came to his door and said Mr. Shelley was there to see him.
Jeremy wondered at him coming at such a late hour, but he went downstairs to meet him.
“So what is your plan?” Shelley asked. “You said you would keep me informed, but I hadn’t heard anything, and—”
“Forgive me, Shelley. I was running all over town. I hired Dawson—I think you met him.”
“The Bow Street Runner?”
He nodded. “We are leaving at first light to go to Shropshire to find Fairweather.”
“And what will you do when you find him?”
“Depends on him, to be sure, but whatever is necessary.”
“Listen, Beaumont, I understand how much you want to stop this man Fairweather from hurting Juliet’s reputation—no one wants to stop him more than I do—but it’s not worth the guilt you’d feel if you killed him.”
Jeremy sighed. “I don’t intend to kill him, even though he deserves that. No, I came to the same conclusion. I won’t kill him, except in self-defense.”
“I am glad to hear you say it. You know violence and vengeance are not the answer, and you would regret bringing the man to harm.”
“Perhaps. But if he comes at me or he challenges me to a duel, I—”
“We both know that sometimes a man is killed unintentionally in a duel. It’s a deadly game, and once your opponent is dead, there is nothing you can do to bring him back.”
“What would you have me do? Juliet is being hurt. She feels her life has all but ended because of this, and you know as well as I do how gossip can ruin a lady’s reputation. I cannot just sit here and do nothing and let that snake get away with what he’s done.”
“We need to think and plan. Don’t go running off and meet the man in a rage and end up killing him, intentionally or unintentionally. It isn’t worth having that blood on your hands.”
Jeremy took a deep breath, trying to clear his head.
“You and Juliet have always had a close relationship,” Shelley said, “but you will not be able to completely do away with the consequences of that man’s evil actions.
That is the way life is. Bad things happen.
And the truth is we cannot take on the responsibility for anyone else’s happiness.
Not even a sister’s. Not even a fiancée’s, and not even a wife’s.
Juliet wouldn’t want you to throw away your own happiness and peace of mind while trying to secure hers. ”
“Those are pretty words, Shelley, but Juliet is my responsibility. I will do what I need to do to stop the man who has wrought so much evil on her.”
Shelley took in a long, slow breath and let it out just as slowly. “I understand. But meanwhile, I will be trying to find another way to solve this problem. I also wish for this to be over as quickly as possible, because I want to marry Juliet. I love her.”
If it had been almost anyone else saying these things, he might have been suspicious of his sincerity, but this was Shelley, and Jeremy believed him.
“I am glad you will be searching for a nonviolent means of resolving this. Keep an eye on Juliet while I’m gone.”
Shelley nodded. “I will.”
In her letter, Mrs. Kendall seemed eager enough for me to return, so after being away for a week, I packed my trunk and a bag and headed to London.
Father lent me the carriage to the halfway point, and from there I hired a coach. We made good time, as the roads were dry, and soon I was in London again.
I had received one more letter from Jeremy, the day before I left.
He said, “I wanted to write you briefly to say that you are always in my thoughts. After this, I pray we will never be separated again. If you are willing to marry me, I shall endeavor, every hour, to be worthy of your love. My love for you will never wane, even for a moment.”
His words made my heart flutter. I found myself reading them over and over.
Wasn’t this what I wanted? If he was telling the truth and not just saying what he thought I wanted to hear .
. . I alternately read them for clues that he was not being genuine, and then I would read them as if I knew he was sincere.
I’d been afraid to admit that I might love him, but now I was afraid that I did love him.
He was Jeremy Beaumont, a wealthy, sought-after gentleman, a good man by everyone’s standards, and yet I knew him as a fallible human being.
He was someone in whose company I’d spent a lot of time.
I’d seen him when he was tired, I’d seen him when he was agitated, I’d seen him in unguarded moments, and he was not perfect.
But I’d also seen him apologize and admit he was wrong.
At least he could be humble when the occasion warranted it, and that seemed like a very important trait.
In his brief letter he added that he was still trying to track down Fairweather. They’d scoured the London papers, but thankfully the gossip columns had not yet printed anything about Juliet and Mr. Fairweather.
How terrible it would be if one of the papers printed something about Juliet!
There would be no living it down if they did.
I imagined it would read something like this: Miss J.
B. of Bedfordshire was discovered alone in a carriage after dark in the company of Mr. G.
F. of Shropshire, and to this day they are not engaged.
That was all the gossips would need to figure out that it was Juliet. It would be whispered about and talked of, and her reputation would be ruined.
But what of Mr. Shelley? How did he feel about all of this?
I’d only received one more letter from Juliet, saying, “Please come to me. You will stay with me, will you not? Your aunt will not mind. I am distraught and your company is the only thing that I have to look forward to now.”
Had Mr. Shelley given her up? Would he let the gossips tear her reputation to shreds?
Poor Juliet. I’d never heard her say such hopeless words.
I still needed to go to my aunt and uncle’s home, as my parents wished, but I went first to see Juliet.
When I arrived at the Beaumonts’ townhouse, Juliet called out, “You are here!” She hurried down the stairs and threw her arms around me. “You cannot know how glad I am to see you. I hope you are not upset with me for cutting into your time with your family. Please forgive me.”
Her expression had already changed from joy to tears of sadness in her eyes in a matter of a few seconds.
As soon as we were alone in her room, I whispered, “What has happened? How does Mr. Shelley feel about all of this?”
“He told me he didn’t want to postpone the wedding.
I think he was a bit angry with me for a day or two, but he has been helping Jeremy search for that evil man.
” Juliet sighed, folding her arms over her chest. “Even if they find him, even if Jeremy fights him, I’m not sure if that will help anything.
And the last two nights I dreamed he killed Jeremy in a duel.
He was standing there laughing. It was horrible.
” Juliet swiped at the tears under her eyes.
For a moment I felt sick, thinking of Juliet’s dream.
“He will not kill Jeremy.” I surprised myself by sounding quite confident. “You must tell yourself that that will not happen. And Mr. Shelley loves you. All will turn out well, you will see.”
Reassurance was what Juliet needed now. What we both needed.
We spent what was left of the day talking and keeping each other cheered and thinking of happier things.
I asked, “When did you last see Jeremy?”
“He spent the night here two days ago. He departed so early the next morning that I didn’t see him. He left a note saying he was going to Shropshire to search for that evil man. That’s what I’ve started calling him.”
“It is appropriate. But how did Jeremy look? Do you think he is taking care of himself?” I was remembering how he had driven himself to exhaustion when he’d gone to force his friend Skeffington to provide for the servant he’d got with child.
“Not especially.” Juliet frowned. “He looked very tired. And I know I am to blame.” Juliet’s bottom lip trembled, and she caught it between her teeth.
“You are not to blame.”
“Yes, yes, I am. I was impulsive and rebellious, going riding with him when I knew I shouldn’t.
I thought he would do what he said and bring me back before it was dark, but I am to blame for going.
You told me not to. Marianne and Robert would never have given me permission to go. I am to blame for being defiant.”
I couldn’t truly argue with her, so I gave her a compassionate look and squeezed her arm.
“I’m so sorry for causing these problems for Jeremy and for you. And for Timothy. He is so good not to throw me over. I wouldn’t blame him if he still decided to call off our engagement.”
“He wouldn’t do that. He loves you.”
“And Jeremy doesn’t deserve all this trouble.
He is a good man and a good brother. He probably loved you for a long time and just didn’t do anything to pursue you because he felt he had to make sure I was happy first. And then when he thought he was finally free of me—” her voice choked off for a moment—“he realized it was not over yet.”
“There is no need to be so hard on yourself. This is the fault of that man for choosing to deliberately harm you. You are not to blame for what he did. Besides, it will all be forgotten soon.”
“I know that he is the evil one. I know that is true, but I never should have gone with him. Everyone told me not to, but I just wanted to go my own way. I always want my own way.” A tear dripped from her eye.
I tried to speak gently. “This kind of thinking is not helpful.”
“I know, I know.” Juliet wiped her eyes again. “Thank you for returning to London for me. Were your parents terribly upset at you for leaving?”
“No, not at all. They didn’t seem to mind.”
“I am sure they were thrilled to see you again after such a long time. And your brothers and sisters. I am sure they were very happy to have you home.”
“I thought they would be, but they were less thrilled and happy than I’d imagined.”