Chapter Eleven
Grayson
My dream slowly comes back to me. A beautiful sunset after a hike to the top of the hill.
The way she fit into my arms, her hair catching the last rays of the setting sun.
She looked…beautiful. Then she’s standing in front of me at the bookstore, underneath mistletoe.
I watch her face go from worried to wondrous.
She steps on her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine.
I run a hand over my face, desperate to erase the dream. Only for me to realize, it wasn’t a dream. It’s memories—ones that keep playing on repeat like they’re my new favorite song. I shouldn’t be thinking like this; it’s not right. Tandy and I are friends, best friends.
A run, that’s what I need. A good long one to clear my mind.
“Want to go on a run, boy?” I ask Jet, who lies next to me on his bed on the floor.
He stretches out his front legs, then rushes to the front door. I quietly walk to the bathroom to change into my running shorts, grab his leash, and head out.
I take a deep breath of the crisp morning air. There’s a stillness, a quietness that only comes with the early hours of the day. We break into a steady jog along the familiar path we take. We exit the neighborhood and continue through town until we reach the park.
I focus on my heart as it pounds in my chest and my feet as they hit the pavement.
But it doesn’t stop the images from continuously playing in my head.
Tandy, the girl who gets me, makes me laugh even when I don’t want to, and the radiant sun shining in my life.
My best friend. And now? The girl I suddenly can’t get out of my head.
The girl who makes my heart race every time I see her. The girl I want more with.
I stop in my tracks, Jet tugging on the leash. I press my hands down onto my knees, hunched over, trying to catch my breath.
Is that what I really want? More?
I scoff at myself.
What? Like her to be my girlfriend?
More images flit through my mind, this time ones that aren’t memories. Tandy and Grayson. Me holding her hand, her snuggled into my side as we watch a movie, us sharing more kisses. Building a life together.
A lick on my hand snaps me back to reality. Jet sits at my feet, tail wagging slowly.
I pat his head. “Let’s go home.”
A run clearly isn’t working. If anything, it’s making it worse. I jog up the front steps and unlock the door to see Gramps making coffee.
“There you are. You were up early. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I, uh, couldn’t sleep,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant, but it’s not coming out quite right.
He peers at me over the rim of his glasses. “Got a lot on your mind, kiddo?”
“You could say that.” I sigh, pouring myself a cup of coffee.
“Need a sounding board?” he asks, sitting at the table. “I’m a good listener.”
“Sure.” I sit down across from him, and Jet lies down next to me. I sit silently, trying to wrap my own head around my thoughts.
“Are you going to tell me or do I need to resort to guessing?” Gramps teases, but there’s a calm seriousness in his eyes.
I chuckle weakly. “I just feel like I’m in over my head. My whole world feels like it got flipped upside down, and I don’t know how to flip it back.”
He studies me for a moment. “Maybe you aren’t supposed to go back. To grow, one needs to leave one’s comfort zone.”
“You sound like a fortune cookie.”
He chuckles. “Even a fortune cookie can be right from time to time.”
“Everything’s just so complicated.”
He leans back in his chair. “Complicated how?”
“For starters, my meeting with the captain. First, I was thrilled when he told me my evaluation results were exceptional. That I’ve built rapport with the guys and handle myself well on the job.
But he said I’ve learned everything I can here; that there’s more growth for me elsewhere—better career advancement, and he’d even write me a letter of recommendation.
Immediately, I was overwhelmed, and everything else he said was a blur.
All I could think about was what I’d leave behind. ”
Gramps listens, his eyes never leaving me.
“I like being a small-town guy. I like being near you. And I…”
Grandpa takes a sip of coffee, then raises his eyebrow, waiting for me to finish the sentence.
I smile, thinking about yesterday in the bookstore. I wasn’t going to kiss her. I didn’t want to cross that line, at least not with the mixed unnamed feelings I’ve had the past few days. But then, she kissed me.
The moment her lips touched mine, I was stunned. Stunned by the softness of her lips, the sweet taste, and the way my heart pounded against my chest. Those unnamed feelings were sparks, and when she kissed me, those sparks turned into a full-blown fireworks display.
Gramps has that knowing look in his eyes again, with a smirk playing on his lips.
I sigh and lower my voice. “And Tandy. I mean, we’re friends. Best friends. But lately…” I run a hand through my hair. “I’ve been seeing her differently. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
“You tell her how you feel.”
“It’s not that simple, Gramps.” I glance toward the hall.
“Life rarely is.” He shrugs.
“What if it changes everything? What if it ruins our friendship? What if…what if she doesn’t feel the same way?” I ask, fear gripping me.
“But what if she does? What if it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you? The ‘what ifs’ can be terrifying, Grayson, but don’t let fear rob you of something that could be beautiful.”
I nod slowly, his words sinking in. And I think of the life we could build together.
Best-case scenario, I’m hers forever, and that thought?
It sends my heart racing with joy. Her fiery red hair, her infectious laugh, her hazel eyes lighting up when she talks about books and her drawings, everything I love about her.
“But what about the job?”
“Only you can answer that, but you don’t have to have it all figured out right now. One decision at a time.”
“Guess the first step is to talk to Tandy, huh?”
Gramps hums, looking pleased. “You always were a smart kid.”
I stifle a snort of laughter, picking up my mug for one last gulp of coffee. “Let’s hope that intelligence stays with me when I talk to her.”
“You’ll do just fine.” He smiles, patting my hand. “Don’t overthink it.”
I thank Gramps for his wisdom, and as I head down the hall to my room, my heart beats anxiously. I try to think of the right words to say to her, and every time a sentence pops into my head, it sounds even dumber than the one before it. The door is slightly ajar, and I knock gently.
“Tandy? You up?”
No response. I push the door open, but the room is empty. My room looks untouched by her, unscathed by her fire. A cold dread fills me. She’s gone. When? Why? Did she leave because of me? Because of our kiss?
“Gramps?” I call out, rushing out of the room. “Tandy’s gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?”
“Her stuff. It’s all gone.”