Prologue #2
“We wouldn’t have shot them if they’d surrendered.
” Spencer noted the tone of his father’s voice.
He wanted an end to this matter . . . a peaceful solution.
His father hated taking a life and would much rather take Astor in alive.
At least he hadn’t dropped to one knee. His father routinely knelt when certain he would have to fire his weapon.
The fact that he hadn’t yet gave Spencer hope that maybe Astor would give up.
“No, you would have hanged them for treason.”
“This is at an end, Astor. You’re under arrest. Drop the gun.”
For just a moment, Spencer thought the man was going to comply—then everything seemed to happen at once. Pa went down on his knee as Astor’s eyes narrowed, and a single shot rang out.
Spencer watched his father’s head lurch. The revolver fell from his hands. Without thinking, Spencer screamed and ran to him. “Pa!” He grabbed hold of his father’s shoulders and pulled him back. The life had gone out of his eyes. He was dead.
“No, Pa. Don’t die. Pa!” Spencer cradled his father’s bloody head and rocked back and forth, mindless of Astor.
To his surprise, the man came and knelt beside them. “The score has been settled. This is a day to end all wars.”
Spencer stared at him from tear-blurred eyes and memorized everything about Astor. His score might have been settled, but not Spencer’s. One day he would find Eugene Astor and make him pay for what he’d done.
A shout and several voices sounded from somewhere behind Spencer. Astor got to his feet and fled down the alley. Spencer could still hear the man’s voice. Still see his blue eyes search Spencer’s face as if looking for an answer to a question he’d not posed.
The score hasn’t been settled, Mr. Astor. This war isn’t over.
January 23, 1875
Cheyenne, Wyoming Territory
“What did Mrs. Ostrander mean that you’re my mama-sister?” Carrie Vogel asked her mother.
“Carrie, we’ve talked about this before.
” Her mother kept ironing the shirt she was working on.
“Remember we talked about how my mama died when I was young, and yours died when you were born. Her name was Sarah, and she was my stepmother. She married our father. When she died, I promised her I would take care of you.”
“I don’t understand. How can you be my mama and my sister?” Carrie struggled to comprehend it all. She had never really paid much attention to what was being said about the origins of her birth. Marybeth Vogel was the only mother she had ever known. Edward Vogel was her father.
Her mother stopped the ironing and fixed Carrie with a loving gaze. “Come sit with me, and we’ll go over everything one more time.” She put the iron on the stove and then headed for the door.
Carrie followed her mother to the living room and took a seat in the chair her father usually sat in.
A warming fire blazed in the hearth as Mama took to her rocking chair.
Carrie glanced to the window to see snow was falling once again.
It was beautiful, and she usually loved to watch it, but today she felt such a jumble of feelings.
Ever since Mrs. Ostrander had said what she had, Carrie had the sensation that she was about to lose something important.
Mama began to speak, and Carrie forced her attention away from the snow.
“Sarah Murphy was your mother—the woman who gave birth to you. She married our father, Klaus Kruger, in 1864. You were born in December of 1865. I was eighteen years old, and Sarah and I had become close friends. I loved her very much. I loved you too. I always wanted brothers and sisters.
“You were so tiny and sweet. A head of blond wavy hair just as you have now. And those blue eyes—eyes with a color unlike any other.”
Carrie had often had complete strangers talk about her eyes. They were powerful and a shade very unlike most. They seemed almost illuminated, her mama had once said. As if a light were shining within them to draw everyone’s attention to their intense blue color.
“From the moment I first saw you, I fell in love with you.” Mama smiled in her reassuring way.
“I was so proud to be your big sister. But then your mama got sicker, and the doctor said he couldn’t save her.
She knew she was going to die and made me promise to take care of you—to be your mama.
I gave my word that I would, and she died.
From that moment on, I became your mama.
I’ve taken care of you as a mama would. I’ve loved you and raised you.
Our father died when you were not quite two years old, but he, too, loved you very much.
He often said that his girls reminded him of happier times.
Then I married Edward Vogel—the man you know as your papa.
He gave you his name, just as he did me.
He loves you dearly, just as he loves your brothers and sister. ”
“So nobody is my real mama and papa?”
“Oh, Carrie, come here.” Mama held her arms open, and Carrie climbed up on her lap.
Mama’s arms wrapped around her. “Carrie, sometimes real mamas and papas are people who come along to do the job when others couldn’t.
I’m no less your mother just because I was your sister first. We’re just doubly blessed with a bond that can never be broken.
Your papa feels the same way. We are your real parents and always will be. ”
Carrie placed her head on Mama’s shoulder. “It just feels sad. I wish I could have known my mama Sarah and papa Klaus.”
“I wish you could have too. I tell you what. I can tell you stories about them so that you’ll get to know them that way.
I can tell you how much they loved you and how happy they were to know they had a beautiful baby girl.
Your mama was so excited for you to be born.
She and I made all sorts of little clothes for you.
I saved some of the ones she made because I wanted you to have them one day. Would you like to see them now?”
Carrie jumped up. “Yes! Where are they?”
Mama laughed and headed for her bedroom. “They’re in my hope chest. Come along.”
They went into her parents’ bedroom, and at the foot of the bed was a large cedar chest. Mama opened it and began going through some of the contents. She set aside an assortment of things and finally pulled up a paper-wrapped bundle.
Untying the twine, Mama glanced at Carrie. “Your mama could make the most beautiful clothes. Her embroidery was absolute perfection. She made these little gowns for you while you grew inside of her. She made a lot of other things, too, but these were special.”
She pulled open the paper, and inside there were three tiny gowns in a soft white material. Mama held up one and pointed to the tiny rosebuds embroidered across the bodice.
“I didn’t bring a lot with us when we moved here from Indiana, but these were important to keep.
I wanted to make sure you had something to remember your—” She paused and then smiled.
“To remember Mama-Sarah. She was sure that you were going to be a girl. She said she just felt confident of that. Still, she wanted to be prudent, so she only made these three special gowns.”
Carrie touched the edge of the lace that graced the tiny collar. Mama-Sarah had made this specially for her.
“Why did she die?” Carrie traced the rosebuds, trying hard to understand a loss that she couldn’t explain.
“She was just too weak to pull through.”
“Did me getting born kill her?”
Mama shook her head and reached out to touch Carrie’s cheek. “She was never all that strong, but she was so excited about having a baby. There was only good about you.” Mama smiled and put the rosebud gown aside to show Carrie the next.
It was hard to concentrate on the gowns, however. Carrie’s heart broke at the thought of the woman who’d given her life. It was hard for her to understand why God had allowed her to die. Still, she loved her mama and papa, even if they weren’t the ones who had been there first.
“You can keep these with your special things, if you like,” Mama said, refolding the gowns when Carrie got up and moved to the edge of the bed.
“Is Mama-Sarah with Jesus?”
“Absolutely. Papa-Klaus too. You know the Bible says when we are absent from our earthly bodies, we are present with the Lord. Your mother and our father loved Jesus very much. They would be so proud that you decided to accept Jesus as your Savior. You’ll see them again one day, Carrie.
They both loved God and served Him faithfully.
Until then, I hope you’ll know how much your papa and I love you. ”
Mama finished rewrapping the baby gowns, then came to where Carrie sat. She handed her the bundle, then put a finger under her chin to raise her face.
“No matter what else has happened in your life, you have been dearly loved by many people and always will be.”
Although Mama’s words were comforting, Carrie couldn’t help but feel that there was still something missing. Something that left a hole in her heart that couldn’t be filled.