Chapter 7
Carrie glanced at her husband sitting across from her on the train.
For several nights they shared hotel rooms as the train made its way west to Cheyenne.
At first, they had laughed nervously about the arrangement.
Then the initial discomfort wore off, and they settled into the routine of being husband and wife for the public and good friends behind closed doors.
Spencer had been a complete gentleman about everything.
He generally took to the floor for his bed, but last night there had been a small sofa in their large hotel room.
It had come to them completely by surprise, but Al had arranged for them to have a suite in a newer hotel in North Platte.
Spencer had started the night on the sofa, but soon made his way to the floor once again, declaring the floor to be softer.
His words still made Carrie smile. She felt bad that he wouldn’t allow her to take a turn on the floor but grateful that he hadn’t suggested they try to share the small bed.
Most of the beds were only wide enough to accommodate two people sleeping side by side in a most intimate fashion.
Carrie wasn’t at all sure what that arrangement might bring about.
She was already confused by her feelings.
She had been Oswald’s fiancée when she’d first met Spencer, and her mind and heart had been fixed on that relationship and nothing else.
When she became friends with the men and women at the theater, Spencer was just one of the actors.
He was quite handsome, and most of the single women were more than a little interested in him.
Carrie found him intriguing, as he often told a variety of stories.
Usually things based on historical events with strange bits of information, not common knowledge.
He was fun to be around, and she loved his enthusiasm for each of their plays.
She loved, too, the way he acted with the children who came to see the plays.
They adored him. He would do little magic tricks for them at times and seemed completely at ease with them.
Even without the benefit of growing up with siblings, Spencer seemed to have a natural ability to relate to the young audience.
Thinking of siblings brought Carrie back to the present.
In a few hours, they would reach Cheyenne.
She hadn’t sent word of her and Spencer’s exact arrival.
She didn’t want a show of family at the depot.
Everyone in town knew her father and would have no doubt made a fuss had they known when she was slated to come back to Cheyenne.
She had horrifying nightmares of the town turning out to welcome the prodigal daughter home.
Of course, she wasn’t really a prodigal.
She certainly hadn’t left on bad terms nor forsaken the faith of her family.
But Carrie knew that there was a kind of disjointed feeling between them, and it was all her fault.
She was the one who couldn’t seem to find her place.
Couldn’t seem to embrace a sense of belonging.
Since understanding the truth of her birth and upbringing, she felt like an intruder.
Robert, Greta, and Daniel were the true children of Marybeth and Edward Vogel.
She was just the orphaned sister who’d made their marriage necessary in the first place.
Of course, they found a great love for each other, and her mother and father had an enviable marriage and friendship that everyone believed was ordained by God.
They were the perfect couple with the perfect family.
If only Carrie could see herself as belonging.
She knew her feelings were ridiculous. Mama and Papa loved her as much as they loved the others. Carrie had never felt that they cast her aside in favor of the children they’d given life. It was only Carrie who had an issue with the situation.
Carrie looked out the window at the passing prairie landscape.
With each mile west, she felt the weight of her discomfort sink in.
She didn’t understand why she felt so at odds with her family.
They loved her, and she loved them. She was going to be happy to see everyone.
She knew Mama and Papa would welcome her with proud, open arms, and when they heard what Oswald had done, they would be encouraging and urge her on to make more discoveries on her own.
They’d always believed in her. Always loved her.
“It seems vast and empty out there, doesn’t it?” Spencer asked.
Carrie met Spencer’s gaze, then noted the man beside him. Even though he seemed consumed by the newspaper, Carrie could hardly converse that she felt much as Spencer had just described the land. It was far too intimate.
“It does. Although, I know from experience that looks can be very deceiving. There’s no doubt a lot of life going on even though it’s the dead of winter.”
“I figured we would find it all covered with snow,” Spencer replied. “It’s been an interesting trip to be sure.”
“Yes.” She looked back out the window. They’d already discussed her mixed feelings about returning to Cheyenne.
Spencer had assured her it would do her good in the long run.
After being away for so many years, she might see her life through different eyes.
Her experiences had certainly changed her.
She was now an accomplished doctor, and even if credit for her medical findings hadn’t been given her, she was confident in knowing they were hers.
She would go on to do great things. He was sure of this.
Carrie appreciated his confidence in her.
She could never fault him for lacking in that area, but most of the men and women in Cheyenne would see her as a strange young woman for her interests.
She wasn’t by any means the first woman doctor, not even the first in Cheyenne, but her area of study had perplexed a great many, according to her mother.
It wasn’t easy to explain her fascination with the brain and the way that injuries often altered the behavior and personality of the injured person.
The correlation had a great many scientists and doctors pursuing answers, but they were nearly all men.
She certainly wasn’t going to find a woman sharing her research passion in Cheyenne.
God, I don’t know why You’ve given me this life and interest. I don’t know why the circumstances of my birth and childhood act more as a stumbling agent than a foundation of assurance.
Please help me to understand who I am and why I’m here.
My passion to make discoveries that can help people is one I’ve always felt confident came from You, the Great Physician.
Show me the way, Lord. Help me to do whatever I do to bring You glory.
“It’s all going to be fine, Carrie.” Spencer leaned forward to take hold of her gloved hands.
He smiled, and some of her tension faded away.
The last few days had proven he had an uncanny capacity to read her mood.
Whether it was from the prayer she’d silently offered, or Spencer’s efforts to ease her worries, Carrie felt a little better and nodded.
The hired carriage came to a stop in front of a quaint two-story house.
Spencer had taken in the details all around him and already approved of Cheyenne.
It was a fine town with a distinct order to it.
Having lived mostly in big cities, Spencer was actually impressed with the smaller town’s efficiency.
He helped Carrie down and then worked with the driver to unload their luggage. Most of Carrie’s things had been arranged for at the depot. They would be warehoused until she and Spencer could rent a house. What they’d brought with them were mainly clothes and toiletries.
They made their way up the walkway, and Carrie paused at the porch steps.
“They built a bigger porch after I left. Mama wrote to me about it. She had always wanted a wide porch where they could enjoy the evenings in the summer and have friends and family gather with them. My brother has the house across the street.” She motioned, and Spencer noted the place.
He followed Carrie up the steps and put the luggage to one side near the door while she knocked. She glanced at him, biting her lower lip as she often did when nervous or deep in thought. When the door opened, an older woman appeared. Her jaw dropped in surprise. This had to be Carrie’s mother.
“Carrie! We didn’t know you were coming today. Greta! Carrie’s here!” She looked Carrie up and down. “Oh, you look so fine. I can’t believe you’re finally here. It’s been so very long since you were home.”
“Nearly eight years,” Carrie replied.
Spencer could hear a sort of tightness in her voice. He whispered a prayer for his wife and stood ready to support her in whatever way he could.
Her mother embraced her and kissed Carrie’s cheek. She pressed her face against Carrie’s and continued to hold her. The tenderness of the moment reminded Spencer of his own mother. She always made Spencer feel that he was the most important person in the world.
“Why didn’t you let us know you were coming in today? We would have met you at the depot. Come in,” she said, pulling on Carrie’s arm. “You must be freezing.”
Carrie pulled back. “Wait. I want to introduce you to someone very special.”
It was only then that Marybeth Vogel seemed to realize Spencer was even there. He smiled and took off his hat.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I was so caught up in having Carrie back with us.”
“No problem.” He offered her a smile and then looked to Carrie, hoping she would continue with the introduction.
“Mama, this is Spencer Duval . . . my husband.”
Again, the older woman’s jaw dropped open, and her eyes widened in surprise. “Husband? But I thought you were engaged to Oswald Nelson.”
“I was, but he discredited himself and betrayed me, and I ended the engagement some time back.”