Chapter 8 Grtirr
“I did not know Julie was on this mission until I saw her in front of the ship,” I said, pressing my forehead to the cool metal of the ship’s walls. “I thought I’d have time away from her.”
Trsak and Ashtrr had dragged my useless and shocked self back through the door and to the bridge, if only to avoid the many pairs of human eyes in the mess hall.
“Julie?” Ashtrr choked out as he paced the room. “You were avoiding Julie?”
Then the other warrior male started laughing, and I glared at him. I finally had control of my body again, but the entire ship had already witnessed the moment the bond solidified. There was no avoiding or hiding it now.
“The good thing is that we will no longer need to monitor you. You were telling the truth.” Trsak looked up from the screen.
I was certain he was relaying everything that had happened to Krxare.
By the time I returned to the stronghold, all the important people would know I’d been rejected by my mate.
“Shouldn’t we watch him harder now?” Ashtrr asked.
He was referring to the fact that rejected males often go crazy without their mates.
I smacked him hard in the arm with the back of my hand. “It takes time. I’m not going to turn murderous in a day.”
“He’ll be fine for the mission,” Trsak said. “And Julie being part of it is perfect. By the time we get back to Vokira, you two will be properly mated.”
Ashtrr harrumphed. “Did you see her reaction? What in the Sarkis star were you thinking, antagonizing the female you knew was your mate?”
“I wasn’t trying to antagonize her,” I said through gritted teeth. “I was trying to protect her.”
When Julie had first arrived at the stronghold, she had been so weak and pale.
She had been sick back at Nova Vita, and while the human doctors had cured her kidney infection, they had done nothing to ensure that her body and organs were functioning properly again.
It hadn’t been a simple infection either; she had gone septic, the infection entering her blood.
Both her kidneys and her stomach had stopped functioning for a short while.
She had also been malnourished, her body lacking the essential vitamins and minerals necessary to thrive. According to the English translations, she was low in vitamin D, A, and K, magnesium, and several of the B vitamins.
I’d known from the very first moment I’d touched her that she was mine.
But I hadn’t wanted a human mate, so I’d done everything I could to care for her instead.
At first she was very thankful for the meal plan I had created for her, along with reminders sent to her device to take the special blend of vitamins I’d concocted especially for her.
Julie had even scented of lust around me, touching me whenever she thanked me, her hands lingering longer on me than needed.
It had been the sweetest torture, and I’d allowed it the first few times.
But after that one close call where I was certain I was starting to produce the mating pheromones, I hadn’t let her touch me.
She was obviously hurt. She didn’t know that it was because I was doing everything I could to avoid the mate bond. The nullvein roots only worked so much, and I hadn’t wanted to test it.
Soon, Julie started to avoid me, only visiting the medbay when she had to for her checkups. She also grew bored with the strict meals and became angry when the food replicators refused to make anything else for her.
And then there was the midday vitamin alert.
She thought it was automated, but it wasn’t.
They hadn’t been since her screening showed that her vitamin and mineral levels were healthy and sufficient, and I’d reduced the dosage to maintenance levels.
I sent those to her daily, and they were often the only interaction we’d have.
I was too embarrassed to let my brother warriors know how badly I’d fucked this up.
“Oh fuck, if she’s your mate, that means…” Ashtrr’s eyes were wide. “The rut.”
I couldn’t stop the menacing growl that tore from my throat at the thought of him sharing his rut with her.
I lunged for him, but he danced away. Trsak came to stand between us.
“She didn’t know, and neither did he.” Trsak glared at me. “If you’d just let fate take its course, it would’ve never happened. Now that the bond has formed, I assume you will not be fighting it.”
“I am not suicidal.” And that was what fighting a formed bond would be. I wasn’t that stubborn.
“Good.” He slapped me hard on the shoulder.
“You’re an idiot for trying to fight it in the first place.” Ashtrr had a smirk on his face I’d love to wipe off with my knuckles.
“Now stop looking like you’ve swallowed a sandwart sideways and start watching the screens. Since you’re no longer a threat, it’s your turn at the helm. But first—” Trsak narrowed his eyes. “What the hell is a kukee doing on board?”
Trsak had handed the creature over to his mate, Kat, before dragging my sorry ass out of the mess hall.
“It hid in my tool bag. He is the reason why I am out of nullvein. He ate it all.”
“She,” Ashtrr corrected. “It’s a female.”
I frowned. “How do you know?”
“It’s the way she holds her tail.”
“How?” Trsak asked. “I don’t see the difference.”
“It’s just... you can tell by the way it is.”
I still had no idea what he meant, and by the look on Trsak’s face, he didn’t either. All the kukee tails looked the same to me. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“We need to contain it before it destroys anything else on the ship. It has already chewed through my tool bag.” I hated putting anything in a cage, but I also worried it would injure itself if it got into anything it shouldn’t.
“Still working on that hoverbike?” Trsak asked.
“It’s mostly done. That’s why I brought it along. It might come into use.”
Halcyon Station was massive, and our research showed that they allowed personal vehicles to get around. We had one of Ellaston’s transports, but nothing beat the speed and maneuverability of a hoverbike.
“Good idea.” Trsak stepped back. “I’ll go find this kukee and see what I can do.”
“I’m going to take that nap,” Ashtrr said. “Wake me when we’re far enough from the system to go into hyperspace.”
When I was alone on the bridge with nothing but the ever-changing screen and my runaway thoughts, the weight of what had happened finally dropped.
Ashtrr was right; I was an idiot. I, of all people, knew that a mate bond could not be stopped.
It was woven into our very physiology, an unstoppable need that defied all attempts at logic and willpower.
Now that it had finally been triggered, there was no fighting it.
Julie was mine, whether I liked it or not. And I was hers.
The only thing left to do was accept it.
I’d need to convince her to spend more time with me.
The bond would do the rest. We’d witnessed it again and again—our pheromones worked extremely well on human females.
Even though they couldn’t feel the mate bond the way we did didn’t mean they were not susceptible to it.
I already knew that Julie found me physically attractive by the desire I often smelled when we were close. It was only a matter of time before she succumbed to the pull.
But then I thought of her and the look of shock and denial on her face when she realized she was my mate. Her body had tensed like she’d been physically struck.
I clutched my hand to my chest and the coiling tightness there that threatened to stop my heart.
Fuck! It hurt more than I dared admit.
She’d recoiled from me, disgusted by the thought of being mine. She’d looked at me like I was the last person she’d ever want.
I dragged my hands over my face, the glow of the screens bleeding into the edges of my vision.
The bond would do its work, yes. But Julie wasn’t just some passive participant in this.
She was stubborn, fierce, and independent.
All the things that endeared her to me were also the things that now worked against me.
She wouldn’t just accept this because biology demanded it. Julie never just accepted things.
It was why she’d chosen the rut and ended up at the stronghold.
I leaned back in my chair, my gaze fixed on the screens in front of me. Julie might not want this. She might not want me. But that didn’t change the truth. She was mine. And for the first time in years, I let myself admit how much I wanted her to be.