Chapter 6 – Aline
Chapter Six
Aline
I ’m dreaming.
I can recognize that, even if I don’t know how.
Faere is beautiful.
There’s nowhere as lush and healthy as the home of the fae. I recognize what’s going to happen next, and I fight my own mind in an attempt to wake up.
My sister and I play in the woods near our castle, but my favorite pixie will die soon. I’m a ghost with knowledge of the future but incapable of changing anything.
The entire scene plays out like it always does, because it’s already happened.
I’ve lived this nightmare a thousand times over.
My eyes sting with tears as I turn away. These events are set in stone, with many years passing since, but this day marked a clear turning point in my life.
If I was bitter, I’d call the before the good times , and the after would be known as when my magic changed everything .
The scene morphs until we’re inside the Northern Castle.
My mother lectures a much younger version of myself about how my magic is dangerous. It’s borderline evil, and it’s against the goddess.
“...I may be queen, but I can’t protect you from the council if they vote and it doesn’t go in our favor. There’s no other option. No one can know about this.” My mother spins, pacing across the floor as she wrings her hands together.
My fists clench at my sides.
Couldn’t she have hugged me and told me she loved me? Even pretended to understand that I was trying to do the right thing?
The hollow ache that forms in my chest is extreme. I’ve lived this memory a thousand times. I should be able to control my reaction by now.
My people view emotion as weakness.
I’m essentially a failure.
I’ve never learned to be as cold and calculating as my mother or my sister.
My eyes dance away from the show as the younger version of myself tries to keep her composure.
It doesn’t feel like me.
Watching a point in time when I truly believed my magic was a gift doesn’t feel great. In fact, it makes me feel foolish and naive.
The terror I felt at not being able to see anything was overwhelming, but even the magical backlash didn’t offset my certainty that my powers were meant to be used.
It wouldn’t be for several hours, until I was alone in my room, when I would fall apart, wondering if I would ever regain my sight. I eventually did, and I grew bolder, because I assumed every price I’d pay would be temporary.
A shadow moves in the far corner.
I’ve stared at every inch of this room in the Northern Castle on more than a hundred occasions.
I meander closer, briefly wondering if I’m seeing things that aren’t here. The shadow moves closer, and I stumble back a step.
“You don’t belong here,” I blurt out, rocking on my toes. The cool brick of the floor feels chilly against my bare feet.
“What a coincidence. You don’t either,” a dark, enticing voice says.
A shiver runs down my spine as I squint, trying to make out his shape, but all I can see is a mass of swirling shadows.
“Why are you here?” That’s not what I meant to ask. My head shakes, trying to clear the foggy feeling.
“Ali,” the voice says in a tender tone. “Have you forgotten me again?”
“What?”
The shadows slowly begin to dissipate.
A tall demon with silvery-gray eyes stares down at me.
Long, straight, dark hair falls around his face as he leans toward me.
He’s got the bone structure a male model on Earth would kill for and just the right amount of stubble on his jaw to be downright sexy.
He smirks, and the look almost feels familiar.
His skin is the same color as his shadows.
I’m drawn toward the expanse of his chest as he leans closer.
“Do we know each other?” I tilt my head, studying him even more carefully.
Why can’t I place him? He seems to know me, and it feels like I’m supposed to know him.
“We’ve been introduced,” he says, his fangs biting into his lower lip. “On a couple hundred occasions.”
I snort, crossing my arms over my chest. I’m pretty sure he’s confused.
“Malice,” he says, stepping toward me. Shadowy tendrils spill around him as he moves, and the effect is a bit disconcerting at first.
My toes dig into the cool floor as I hold myself steady.
I won’t retreat.
I’m dreaming.
Dreams can’t hurt you.
Well, outside of emotional torment, that is.
“Alinelle,” I say, extending a hand and frowning, because I told him my true name. I haven’t gone by that in years. “Ali.”
“I know,” he muses, shaking my hand. He doesn’t release me. “We’ve had a very similar version of this conversation a fair number of times now.”
“I think you have me confused with someone else.” Sobbing fills the air behind me.
I glance over my shoulder to see my sister, Aryndia, consoling my younger self.
A shiver runs down my spine.
I think that was the first time I felt true terror in my life—being unable to see her face.
I could smell her, feel her warmth as she cradled me in her arms, even hear her soft voice as she promised me it would be okay.
But not being able to see her reactions made the adrenaline fade and the cold reality sink in.
It’s been a long time, but it’s nearly impossible to shake the pit that forms in my gut. I wanted to be brave and accept the consequences of my magic, but I was also very young.
“You don’t have to stay here, watching this,” Malice says, running his thumb over my inner wrist.
“I don’t know what’s happening.”
“Tell me where you’d rather be...” he says.
“Anywhere but here,” we say in unison.
“Oh, Ali.” He smirks. “I told you—I know you.” He steps closer, his shadows swirling around us.
The smoky tendrils get so dark, I can no longer see the pale-gray brick of the Northern Castle. I can’t see anything except Malice’s handsome face as he holds me to his front.
My heart races as his white teeth dig into his lower lip.
I look down, and my eyes widen when I see I’m standing on his booted feet. I glance back up, and he chuckles a light melodic sound.
“It appears your body remembers me, even if your mind does not,” he says cryptically.
My confusion level is high as we stop moving. The shadows swirl away, and it becomes easier to see.
“Where are we?” My head swivels from side to side.
“You don’t recognize it?” He nods to the house in front of us.
“I don’t,” I reply truthfully.
“Let’s have a peek inside,” he says, whisking us in.
We end up in someone’s bedroom. It’s dark, but I can make out a queen-size bed with a large window behind it.
I gasp, squinting and trying to figure out what I’m seeing.
My sleeping body lies with my head on the chest of a massive orc. He’s huge, bigger than any other of the species that I’ve seen. He’s got a green hand on my ass, and I struggle to process what I’m seeing.
“Atlas,” I whisper as the memories flood back.
“He always calms you.” Malice coughs.
I turn to face him, and my jaw falls as he clutches at his ribs. “Are you okay?” I carefully reach out a hand.
He grabs mine with one of his. Well-defined lines of muscles flex as he moves. He coughs into his other fist, and my heart races as I check him over for injuries.
He gives me a dangerous sort of smile.
I actually take a step back, but he makes a grab for my hip. He’s touching me in two places. One is covered by my dress, but the skin on my wrist seems to burn at our contact.
“Are you going to answer me? Seriously, did you hurt yourself carrying me?”
He snorts, shaking his head. “I’m fine. This has nothing to do with siphoning you. But if you want to patch me up, let’s just say, I wouldn’t turn you down.”
My head tilts as his fangs dig into his lower lip. He truly is a gorgeous demon, but he looks dangerous too.
I should probably fear him, but I don’t.
I try to remember, to think if there’s some reason my system seems to believe I can trust him, but my mind feels foggy, like it does when I wake up after a long rest and have no idea what’s going on.
“How do you heal?” I’m not sure what kind of demon he is, but it’s safe to say he’s not an incubus. I’ve been around plenty of sex demons in my time at The Den. He doesn’t have that pure sexual energy wafting off him, despite the fact he’s devastatingly handsome.
“You always forget that part too.” He releases his hold on my wrist but slides down, grabbing my hand.
I let him pull me closer.
I’m not even sure why.
Demons are tricky creatures. He could be...I’m not even sure of the possibilities.
“Allow me to take away your pain.” He doesn’t explain, simply presses his mouth to mine.
My nostrils flare as I breathe in his scent. I’m not sure how I missed it. We were close for the trip when his shadows swirled around us, but now that I smell him, it’s like a wave of memories flood my system.
I carefully try to avoid his injury and allow him to suck whatever it is out of my system. Silvery-black smoke spills out around the kiss. Once it’s gone, I feel lighter than I have in years.
I blink up at his light-gray eyes. The curve of his smile presses against my lips.
“I missed you,” I say, wrapping my arms around his chest.
“Oh, kitten.” He chuckles. “You’ve got to get new material. You always say that.”
“Then, it’s always true,” I counter, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “How were you injured?”
“There are downsides to being an honorable friend,” Malice says, smiling widely. “It’s nothing serious.”
“Has it been as long as it feels like?” I glance at my sleeping form and back to the nightmare in front of me.
He shrugs a massive shoulder. “Several weeks in your time.”
“Why don’t you come more often?” I ask and grimace.
“You haven’t called for me. I can only pass through the veil when I’m summoned,” he tenderly reminds me. “My brethren have been working on... something . If they’re successful, then I’ll be around more. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that you wouldn’t be able to keep me away if you tried.”
“I want that,” I whisper before I can stop myself. I’m pretty sure the haze of unconsciousness lends to being more truthful than I would in everyday life.
Atlas moves in his sleep, and the feeling that slips in right before I wake hits me full force.
“No,” I whisper, staring up into Malice’s eyes.
“I’ll see you soon. Don’t forget me this time.” He pushes his mouth to mine again. This time, it isn’t to feed. It’s simply a light tease of a kiss that makes my chest feel tight.
Our time together is never enough.
“No,” I groan, rolling over to face the wall. “Malice...”
My mattress is on the floor, since my bed is broken, and we never quite made it to Atlas’s house before calling it a night. You’d think breaking a bed would mean something exciting happened. In reality, my furniture just wasn’t meant to hold an orc.
I crane my neck to check the wall, but there’s nothing there.
There never is.
“Did your mystery man kiss you senseless again?” Atlas grips my hips, pulling me until I’m flush with his front.
“I’m not sure.” I glance back to the corner. “I think so. I believe he was injured by a friend, or for a friend?”
It’s frustrating. It’s always fuzzy once I’m awake.
“Should I be jealous?” He chuckles a low, throaty sound.
“No, you know that,” I mumble sleepily.
“It seems like he’s getting at least as much affection as I am.” He quirks a brow. “Orcs aren’t great at sharing,” he reminds me, nuzzling his cheek to mine. “But you’d be surprised at the things I’d do to keep you. I’m grateful he watches over you when I can’t.”
“He’s likely a figment of my imagination,” I murmur, snuggling deeper into my orc’s chest. His woodsy scent floods my nostrils as he holds me close. His heart beats under my ear, and I’m sure I could be happy with him for several lifetimes.
Or, quite possibly, an eternity.